MI 4 : ghost protocol

Some of the most kickass action sequences to be seen..and no its not just about chasing cars and rash driving. Or some fights. Its about monkeying on to the world's tallest building!
Superman act by not a superman.Deadly.

the first half is freaking awesome.

If you were to be anywhere in my vicinity while watching the movie..you would have heard 'omg! omg!!' every 15 mins. Yes that awesome.

The second half too is good. Except that Anil Kapoor's entry quite runied it. I guess watching an Indian actor in a hollywood ACTION flick , desperately trying his best to deliver dialogues in English and that while retaining and exhibiting the fact that he is an Indian actor or well almost playing a part/character that he would normally do in a bollywood film...well that can be pretty hilarious :D

A lot of action was not required , storywise. It felt too dragged. But then who says no to adrenaline ?

 As it is these non-superhero action flicks stop making sense after a while.(logically)
- Like I couldn't quite figure out what the hell was that sand storm in Dubai about  ? And how come it exactly and suddenly 'stopped' or disappeared the moment Ethan ( Tom Cruise ) stopped chasing the villain ?  height of co-incidence ya ? :P
-  They seem to have a lot of devices and 'international access' despite of the so called  Ghost protocol :D


Tom Cruise looks old. ( of course because he is old! but you never want the most hottest looking celebs to grow old :D )
No stunt doubles! :O That's like double wow! 
No hot scenes. ( Isn't that supposed to be by default ? :P ) Minus points for a action movie.
Good humor btw. Plus points.

Want an adrenaline rush ? Go watch it!

Driving isn't the only way you learn to swear.

Perspective management. A subject that can make you swear irritatingly while studying to write for its exam.
A subject that makes you swear annoyingly even while you write its exam.
A subject that makes you swear wildly when you are done writing the exam :D
Perspective management ...!@#$%^&

Marketing.
Its strange how I never mentioned our marketing professor. Every girl in our college must be having a crush on him. ( If you happen to take a random sample :P )
This crush was first crushed when we heard he is married. And then it was awfully boiled over on hearing he has a kid too :P
It is not only his sharp face cut and attractive features..it has also a lot to do with HOW he teaches. And I must say..he is quite mind blowing :D
Maybe the only positive I would mention if asked whether I like the college.

IT is very very very unfair  that exams are taking place :
1. during december..the month I love for no reason at all.
2. when seemingly good movies are releasing.
3. missed a couple of  good movies  already ( tin tin!! ) due to the so called PL [ preparational leave ] where no preparation actually happened.
4. ending on 31st.
No time to shop.
So how on earth are you supposed to enjoy a new year's eve party without a sexy dress to wear ?
Wait.
How on earth are you even supposed to GO to a new year's eve party without a sexy dress to wear ?


OK am digressing..

change the topic.


Its funny how your brain's capacity reacts to varying course content.
If you have to prepare for 2 units ..you automatically keep one for the 11th hour.
But when you have 6 units to prepare..you finish off at least 3 ..and interestingly quite fast :O

In short. Exams are cruel.

Gotto buy a gift. I suck at gifting. I'm horrendous at buying gifts. Not because I am a miser but because I don't gift  halfheartedly :P
So tomorrow shall began with a gift buying expedition.Searching for the right can be cruel too.

Once divided..nothing left to subtract.

I realized avoiding blogging or  simply avoiding writing made me less sentimental.
I always had this urge to put down every emotion ,  mixed feelings etc.
I didn't feel the need much these days nor did I have the energy to type all of it. Good thing.

But there are some things I want to express because they have been an integral part. Maybe I'm overemotional  - but that's not going to con me from stopping to write.

So you , listen to me now.

I'm dreading the time you will leave. I have been dreading it since the time we have been sipping coffee or eating corn together. Those long drives . Remember the day when you were going to fly to London and I cried liked a stupid ass. We were just friends then , right ? You held my hands , wiped my tears , pulled my cheeks and made me smile. That gesture just did it.

Now that those last few months of being with you are on their verge to end..and time being the bitch for slipping away tooo fast when I want it to just slow down , take a deep breath , maybe have a holiday - I have no clue how to react. How to behave.
Whether to show you my breakable side or to bid you goodbye with a smile.
I know I will see you again , after a couple of months ..maybe an year. But its not going to be the same. And we both know that.
But for now - I don't want to go through this phase. It is challenging. Can't face it. I want this phase to just come and wash away..hide somewhere.

I dreaded making memories too.
How do I subtract my daily routine of meeting you every evening , drinking coffee , being teased with your remarks on my weight , narrating you the stupidest incidents in college of the most interesting breed of friends ?
How am I going to see your reaction when I nod sarcastically on your serious scolding related to my studies ? :D
Who will be by my side the next time I faint in the movie hall ? :P
Who is going to make my day with that absolutely dazzling smile! :))
Code words. Check list. Cheesy talks.
Damn. We had hell lot of fun.

There is no feasible way we can recreate these moments.  I wonder how many years it will be before we would again enjoy such time together. Whether we would , at all.

I recollected so many incidents .Its funny..we don't match. Right from pani puri likings to nachos disliking. From our movie choices to watch obsession.
The very fact that you can cook and me ? ....far ..far away from 'can' cook :D

We even ended up having so many arguments. But you always made a fresh start without even mentioning whatever there was that we fought about , which is why I don't even remember those conversations.

You inspire me. I'm absolutely in awe of your passion and desire to achieve goals. I appreciate how ambitious and focused you are.

I like the fact that I don't run out of things to talk about ; with you. How I'm never uncomfortable except for blabbering slangs in Hindi that you dared me to. :P

Exactly 15 days to go.

I'm going to delete all sad songs from my cell/ipod. They aren't helping my already shrinking heart.
And why on earth did the exams have to collide now ?
How am I going to manage ?

You know how I feel , right ? Its not so much about the separation as much as it about the question of being together , again.
What I'm really happy about is that  - we've made an amazing friendship..
...and I hope distance doesn't dissolve it. ( dreading again! )

I'll try to be good.
Much love.

Extinct theories.

Some concepts don't exist or hold strong ground anymore.

- Platonic love
For someone who believed in platonic love ..lust or as soberly termed 'expression of love' has scalped all such beliefs.

- best buddies do not fight.
They do.
They should not..but they do.
And the fight is usually a brutally cold argument.
Ego is a parasite.

-  Perfect families.
There is no such thing as that.
It might be a by-product of a broken divided family. But then , can you call THAT a  'perfect' family ??

-  Almost everyone hurts you.
Nope. You get hurt , all by yourself.
Cannot go around blaming 'everyone'

-  Love people and they will love you back.
Nature doesn't provide such law.
You cannot force someone to love you back. No matter how many millions you love them.

beach & beer

What happens in Goa stays in Goa. The hangover carries over though :P

I had visited Goa verbally infinite times. Every single person in my life has been there. So when I had heard SO much about it..I was a little worried it might turn out to be over hyped.
I'm glad I was wrong.

Because this place lives to its exact expectations and maybe even more.

I got drunk crazy for the first time. Got a high ..and I must say , the feeling is incredible :D
It took 4 vodka shots to make me tipsy ; I couldn't walk straight and I grooved to the music , not just danced ;)

We even went to Curlies , a place famous for doping :P
The trance music and 2 tequila shots with hukah made this partying evening a very different experience as well.

BAGA beach is awesome. Lined up with shacks and a stream of candle lights..the beach is beautiful at night.

I'm unable to express this short trip in words ... guess the best way to say it is that it was kickass :P

Been to the flea market as well. But didn't have time to shop. Instead enjoyed being over the beach all day long :) with beer and more beer :P

Its certainly not hyped. Goa is the best place to be at.Best place to party.

If you haven't been to Goa , well you haven't been to goa :P

Rockstar

It could have been an ultimate kickass film had it stuck to the main theme.
While it essentially states that every great artist has gone through ( and so must go through )  lot of pain enabling him to pour down all his passion - the movie should have ideally been about love , pain and music.
It turned out to be about an inexplicable version of love , pain from the same and music too although the former two not being the main reason for the same ( music ) or so it seemed.

Because jordan ( ranbir kapoor ) already becomes quite a hit even before he could feel the pain of love
and when he does...his image is spiraled in a perplexed web.

The first half is extremely enjoyable. For its craziness , punch lines and the humor.

The second half is disappointing.

It is still a very different movie. Not typical bollywood. Interesting and shows you the kind of love you haven't seen or heard of , before.

Ranbir Kapoor has given a remarkable performance. And Nargis has played her part very well for a newcomer.

I wish it weren't so vague in the latter half.

The music is superb!

I guess the best is to not interpret this movie...it somehow doesn't make a lot of sense -- something's missing but it portrays a wonderful dimension of an overtaking emotion - love and loss.

Kaleidoscope

Do you know what a kaleidoscope is??
You know those toys that are a tube that you look into and see a beautiful design and then you turn it...and it becomes a different design just as beautiful?
Life is very much like it. Just turn it a little and another beautiful picture is there...waiting....
So when you color all your relationships or the future on past relationships especially ones that didn't work out...then you are limiting yourself
So leave that one where it is...and turn the kaleidoscope for the next beautiful picture!

Don't make the person you meet and like...fit the 'your perfect criteria'...make him be the perfect person to grow with...and fit the criteria to him.


One of those wonderful things you ever said to me.
Almost 2-3 yrs back. I remember how I took time to reply and in fact came with no answer.
Today as I'm sitting and reading over the saved conversation...I realize how right you were!!
truth is..that's exactly how it works! I never subscribed to the idea of perfect person. Never had a check list or criteria.And now I totally relate and understand every single word of the most amazing simple things that you said.
I always believed that if I like someone , I'd like them anyhow. Not for any particular set of predefined elements. And am glad that's the way how it has turned out to be.

Sometimes you say yes 

without scratching your head scouting for logic

without judging the consequences

without desperately searching for a reason.

And it gives a sense of relief to be able to do that.
Because at that moment...you know it came straight out of heart.

 I do not know what the future holds. I do not bother. I don't know why I'm doing this.I don't want to know why I'm doing this. Because right now what matters is being together.
And all that matters is to love. without conditions.
Therefore , that's exactly what I'm doing.

my cuppa coffee.

A lot can happen over a cup of coffee.

 

A lot has happened over a cup of coffee :P =)

Silly spoilt time.

When I calculate the amount of time I spend on my emotional analysis , on silly things..I feel guilty of the time I lost that could be efficiently utilized ( -- two words you can start off writing any goddamn management paper :P ) to finish off my long due list of movies to be seen.

I'm currently  in a  very different mode that I'm not disliking. Not thinking much , just going with the flow. 

Not that I've never been spontaneous..but you know that thing in every girl's DNA - the entire process of analyzing , over stating , getting hyper  or whatever.. it sucks now!
I find myself stressed and upset when I think so much about things that will eventually fizzle out.

I'm not the kind of person who makes many resolutions.
But once I do  , I bloody keep my words.
Every time I'm deviated , my system starts buzzing : wrong lane!

When  dad asks me what do I want and I say nothing , he asks me again if I'm sure and whether I've made up my mind to never get anything from him.

I don't answer.
Although I'm aware there is still a long long time till I keep piling up the favors and debt. ..but why increase it unnecessarily ?
Once you enter the 20 league..every single penny spent on you by your parents gives a feeling of debt.Only difference , you've made no promise to return back in monetary terms. Obviously the debt is far greater to fill in with money.
But the point is - it starts pinching you.
Its a good thing I'm a miser. Sometimes I'm very proud of that characteristic :P

When I had a free choice to do what I want to do ( with hidden conditions and clauses ) - I got stuck up with my last plan. My backup rather.

There are times when I start wondering what the hell have I done. But then I remember what dad had said " you're grown up. Make your own decisions and take responsibility for them"

I must admit I felt quite insecure that day. Because decisions no matter whether I made or not - responsibility - I always thought someone else was taking care of.

But anyhow , I keep telling myself -

made a choice. 

Now stick to it!!

Shocking.

In the most horrifying incidents to have happened in the city , a 10 yr old kid was kidnapped for a ransom of Rs. 2 crore 3 days back.

He was abducted by the neighbour!! - a 20 something ruthless bastard wanting easy money to make up for his gambling loss.

The police had taken him into custody after reports of the kid being last seen with him. After 3 days , he confessed to having killed the innocent child.
The fucking loser made only one call after kidnapping.
The police was immediately informed and so was the media. Posters of the lost boy were put across the city.
Probably fearing that he might get caught - the bastard killed the kid within few hours after abudcting him. His body was dumped in a water tanker of an under-construction building , only 2 kms from his house.

The kid went to the same school as my brother. He stayed only a few meters away from our house.

can you imagine the plight of the parents of the little boy ? It breaks my heart every time I see a picture of his in the newspaper or at the traffic signals. He was such a sweet looking kid.

It is an unimaginable and awfully disturbing incident. The city is gripped with shock waves.

How can someone fall so low to MURDER A CHILD ??

The asshole could have gotten the money and left the innocent soul.

And can you believe it that a neighbor did such an heinous crime ?

The murderer's father expired today afternoon after heart stroke.
Their house was pelted with stones since morning.

The killer must be burnt alive. What a horrendous crime!

my heart goes out to the family of the child.
God give them strength!

jinx ?

Is it common that things you are most excited about...most lovingly desperate about and badly want never really happen ?
Or delayed ?
Or just go kaput at the 11th hr ?

Its almost routine for me. Therefore ,  I make an effort in toning down that excitement and not think much about the 'plan'. .in some hope that maybe it does work out if I don't wish for it so madly!

Its a futile effort though...because you so badly want it to happen that you can't take your mind off it.

And once you start  re-thinking it ...you lock yourself into the loop of wanting it bad again!

Tough nut to crack.

iLoss iRespect

A tribute to the greatest innovator ...to the man who gave us most beautiful & amazing gadgets..

To the man who revolutionized the tech world...who isn't any more.
It still hasn't sunk in

"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything -- all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure -- these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma -- which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice."

RIP Steve Jobs!


Thank you for Apple.

Timing.

I have a gut feeling that unless I learn to buy a gadget all by myself - it is not going to survive!

So I broke the touch screen of my x6 , again :P

Which stupid person on earth does garba while keeping the cell phone in one hand and clapping over it ? :P

I did :|

I had a great tiring dancing weekend. And I was obviously turned off for killing my cell phone.

Most of my friends and cousins think that I've become very self absorbed. I don't involve much in talks. I don't respond well. And the truth is I know that. But I'm not willing to do anything about it.

I'm very irritated and I don't have any specific reason for the same.And I'm not sorry for my behavior.

I want people to stop talking to me if they have issues with me.I cannot entertain complaints for now
because I'll be my old self again in some time.
I don't have the energy to explain. My mind's already quite screwed up.

Anyway..coming back to Garba..this time it was quite a disappointment. The crowd wasn't as rocking. The arrangements were annoying.

Its so weird and ironic. The things you always wanted to be a part of..you never could because there were restrictions.
And now when you have the freedom...you are not THAT inclined towards it.

Everything has a timing.

If you didn't make it then..you might as well do someday..
but
odds are..it will loose its charm.

So dance , dance , like its the last , last night you your life , life...

...Coz baby tonight the DJ got us* falling in love again

( *with dance :P )

We had a ROCKING installation program  at college.
Totally enjoyed the entire process.
Selecting songs..setting the dance , practicing and performing  - in flat 2 days.
+ getting a dozen compliments and hooting :P

It was amazing! :D
We , the bunch of six , set the stage on fire :P

I took part in the fashion show as well. Our theme was Bikers !
That too was kickass :P

The arrangements weren't top class but then just being there..with your funniest craziest bunch of friends and class mates - dancing , enjoying...being appreciated...it just feels awesome!!

I loved it more when our effort  paid off. Got lots of compliments!! Made my day!

Not just dance. I was even complimented for my dressing :P And that's a rare thing lol
If you were to see me on any other day during college and if you saw me last night - I had a total makeover :D

I dress very casually. Very. So the way I carried myself off last night was different , bolder and hotter :P

--------------------

I still remember you asked me what makes me happy ?
What I simple question!
I freaking couldn't answer that.I was blank.
I would tell now.
DANCING is one of those things.
Sadly it has conditions. I need a freaking awesome company to enjoy the same.

----------------------------

There's a joke among us friends.
I've become a tea addict. So the day I behave weirdly - they all go like
" Somebody please bring her - her drug " :P
One can actually sense a difference in my attitude after I have my
canteen ki chai ;)

--------------------------

We celebrated my friend's birthday with a luncheon treat at a sexy restaurant.
Yes , people ask me how a restaurant is sexy ?
In case of restraunts , sexy = great food + dashing interiors. When you go like  :
WOW.
Where the hell was I and why haven't I been here before ?
This is THE place I'm gonna be at for a romantic sexy date :P

We visited an orphanage later in the evening. Donated clothes.
Its a nice feeling being with the kids..playing around with them..talking to them...making them smile..
but you wanna leave as soon as you enter. 
There were a couple of handicapped kids. And it awfully pains to see them.I tried talking to them.But its hard to look them in the eyes and not sympathize.

You feel like someone just punched you in the stomach.

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance!
~Unknown

96 days ago.

So far I know..nothing can possibly fill the void.

Irreplaceable 

Nothing can possibly  FIT for what has been left.

Just find distractions everywhere. Just try being a part of something funny.

It can be tiring. 

And then I'm too fed up to do anything about it.

  Got to make efforts

96 days ago.

My ipod notes read.

Ninety six days ago.

I wrote to myself.

That we always have a choice.

And I meant it every whichever way.

Come to think of it...its between

whether I choose to be sad.

Or I'm ready to look beyond.

Most of the times..state of mind is only but a

choice.

My choice ?? does a pendulum dance.

There's too much fooling around.

Fickle mind.

Maybe I just want to shut down for a while.

And reach one person who can tell me 

What the hell am I supposed to do.

Or not.

What on earth am I supposed to feel.

Or not.
 

Damned.

Can we have something NEW ?

I saw bodyguard yesterday. And I  absolutely second someone's thought :
The next gen will make fun of us for making such movies. They will also find it hilarious that it was a box office hit :P

Its pretty funny actually. The fact that such movies are STILL made.

It seems like they found the script after 10 yrs. The concept is old. Its obviously predictable. And uh the action scenes : typical formula : The hero is never hurt. No matter what. He takes over ALL the villains. No matter what.

The only thing good about this movie is the music. And some might say Salman Khan.

But seriously..even for a love story..it hardly manages to be touching.

I won't even call it TIME PASS. Coz its such a waste of time :P

In your genes..or not.

 We've been taught. We've learnt and we see it - Everything can be earned by hard work / money etc.

However these five 'powers' must be possessed by default - which if I'm not wrong..cannot be earned or gained.

Exceptional talent.
There's no way you can move ahead in this mad world without an ounce of talent. Yes you need to work hard , I get that..but without talent..all hard work would be sloshed away. Its a mad world , remember !

Metabolism
There's nothing like a fit and healthy body. Infact nothing compared to having an extremely good metabolism. You get to eat all the junk on earth - yet you look all the same , all the time :P ;)


Beauty / Looks WITH brains
I keep debating whether looks are important or not. And yes while inner beauty counts and most of us feel we are beautiful inside ( why would anyone say that he/she is an ugly person ? :P) - the truth is - yes.. lets face it - looks matter.
But all looks..and no brains is such a waste ;)

Luck
I've never been able to fully decipher the concept of destiny and all that jazz...because maybe its for weaker hearts. Maybe only those people who see some hope in their otherwise screwed up life - talk about it all the time.( Like I do it..when I see no other reason for having such hopeless situations in life - and thus conveniently blaming bad luck )
But on the basis of random sampling ; picking up people's story from my life - Luck is that intangible magic which can change things overnight.
And sometimes when nothing counts - luck does.

And then..two most important things in life- Family and friends.
While friends can be 'earned' over time and you also get to choose them...there are only a handful of them who really really are your 'friends'. Rest of them just form the 'crowd' ;) in both sense :P
You never get to choose family :D
So another one of those powers you probably need to be born with - or rather born in :P

And its funny how it would all ultimately correlate to luck. Good friends , family , intelligence , looks , talent - they call you 'lucky' then :P

The mean blogger's 'examples' :D

Ok so..I've never studied so much in 4 days that which I'm currently doing and its a real brain marathon for me because its roughly been a good 1.5 yrs that I tried 'mugging' for theory subjects that don't make sense - ( as in to write exams for )

I dislike muggers. Coz I  for one cannot mug. And those who can - bloody score well :D

This entire relative grading system is sucking out all our energy. And the fucking outliers of the batch are making things difficult.

Anyhow..coming to the ever-going laughter sessions among friends...

It so happens that my friend sits right in front of me during exams.6 papers down I didn't help him even ONCE. :P I'm so engrossed in writing my own paper ( or in true words so shocked at the fact of being so screwed to unable to right 'non-mugged' answers ) - that I cannot pay attention to anything else.

6 papers!! And he says

"Kyunki har ek friend kameena hota hai " :D lol

My exam classroom has a  glass partition,  with the IT lab on the other side. My friend explains how he is able to turn back , ask the person sitting in the IT lab the question for which he seeks answer - and how the person - all across the other side of the room - tells him the answer. Lip reading.

And 'I' sitting right behind him - do not even whisper a word LOL.


Being the brat that he is - almost every invigilator have their eyes on him.
Not much of an excuse for me :P ...and now I'm known as MEAN.

Oh btw. Talk about examples. I always have something parallel to say when otherwise what is being said is completely understood.

The dumbest example :
Friend L :: You know even N ( extremely  unsocial  [underlined word - I'm really emphasizing ]  in our class ) is on FB.
Me : Uhmm. really..its like how even vendors have cell phones these days :P

LOL. Shoot me.

So these days...whenever anything is being discussed , they holler 
'Oye blogger..EXAMPLE chahiye :P'

:D :D

I have two more papers to write tomorrow. Grrr :|

Go.Jump. Fly.

Wanna get wild. Do something spontaneously.
Pack bags & leave.
Get an adrenaline rush.Adventure. Thrill!

TRAVEL.

Take part in a competition and this time bloody WIN it.


Get over that 40% of stage fear I have. I hate it that I fret.

LAUGH.

Talk endlessly with friends. And talk different and unusual.

Be unpunctual and enjoy it. For once. The punctuality bug kills me at times.

Stop calculating & comparing the time required to reach a spot via different routes. I always keep debating what could be the better route to commute :P

SING

Breaks my heart to format the mass memory of my phone. Had ALL of my current addictions. Organized playlists for the songs that I listened to while I drove , at home ,  to dance and to sing alongside with full volume.

Ofcourse , I didn't have a backup. The day I plan to backup all the files is the day I delay - and the next day I find the device corrupted.Its like a rule of the great plan of backup.

I keep humming songs all day. AND I also hum the instrumental part - trying to create the sound by clattering my teeth or just voicing :P It irritates the crap out of my friends :D

DEJA VU

Its been a long long time I've felt that I've already seen something new - before. That fraction of second that puzzles your conscience. I want that.

CRACK

Give a kickasss exam & get all the answers right to analytical questions.
Theory is passe.

MOVIES.

Its my old lost  ditched love. The art I heart.
Its stupid how I haven't gotten around to watching ANY one of those movies I have made a neat list of.

That's all I want for now. Not too much I guess. And maybe a good cam.
Yes ,  I have to be materialistic :P

Lets make it an easy exam.

There is a mysterious force that keeps me glued to you.
That makes you my magnet.
That doesn't let me let go.

No matter how hard I try.

Maybe
I only pretend to try.
Because deep down..
I don't wanna let go.

** My story is not a love story.
My story won't have a happy ending.
It demands not to end.

Strangely its the imperfection that loops me into the cyclone of affection over & again only to be left withered and lovelorn.
 Its the imperfection that drives me more to reach a point of a single moment that is perfect ; perfect bliss.

Unrequited love hurts.But the phenomenon of loving someone without being in love..without having a reason makes my story special.

 My story concludes that attachment is a bad thing to happen & its a tedious task to write off the same.
A disease that has no medication except maybe learning to be immune.

Parallel story tells that time changes things. Time improves them too. And there won't be any hard feelings.
But until then I have to survive an amalgamation of butterflies & occasional heartbreaks.
I have to survive being selfish or being a fool.
I have to survive sailing through a storm. 

And I might not even  reach a beautiful island.I already know that. There are no promises , at all.

But I'm sticking to this because all my resolutions of giving up fail with one step from your side.
That doesn't make me weak. I guess accepting my defeat over you in itself makes it all the more easy. 

 Being so serious was never the plan. Its going to suck later - so why feel the pain in advance ??

I want to regain my humor. My story needs that.

But most of all - my story needs you.

Freshers.

I like it when someone asks me out for dance - and even though I do not know how to jive..I still dive in the offer... Because I so so so wanted to ball dance :P

 I like it even more that a preferably good guy asked me out for the same :P :P lol

And then...I like it much more that another good guy from class pings me & tells me that I danced good :D :D

Nothing like being complimented. :P ;)

Do I not sound excited ?! Truth is...I 'enjoyed a party after a long time :))
Danced to my heart's content...clicked lots of pictures &had a great great time!!

Thanks to our seniors for the party!
Good venue...awesome DJ ..and okayish food. :P
However , when it comes to rocking tracks & dancing - I really don't  care about food. I eat dancing :) :D

Bring it On.

Have you heard ...they say people who are devastated are quite funny on the outside.

I have one such friend. And although as little as I know of him - my other friend & I could tell there was something huge missing in his life.

Today we were proved right.

The entire situation is so numbing , I don't have words.

He's a gem of a person. Quite talented. Keeps making people laugh crazy with his antics & mimickery.

In two days something will decide whether he stays with us or not.

I'm feeling terrible. Helpless.

And in so many days ..specially since I joined college...this is first time I'm praying badly - that too for someone else.

He's also the same guy for whom we did not change our batch.Flat 15 days of friendship.

Serious- WTF- happens- in- life mode.
Bring it on I say , Life -- you - sonofabitch!

Sibling of music.

People who can Sing are really privileged.

Its such an amazing talent!

Because practically everybody on earth loves to sing - whether or not they CAN actually sing 

I hate it that I cannot sing. Coz as much as I enjoy humming tunes I like( that apparently aren't a pleasure to hear)...I wonder what it would be like to have the talent to sing.

Its so refreshing.

Har ek friend zarrori hota hai =) :D

Love this new ad by Airtel.

Chai ke liye jaise toast hota hai
Vaise har ek friend zaroori hota hai
Aise har ek friend zaroori hota hai
Koi subah paanch baje neend se jagaye
Koi raat ko teen baje jaan bachaye

Ek teri kadki mein sharing kare
Aur tere budget mein sneak in kare
Koi nature se guest koi host hota hai
Par har ek friend zaroori hota hai
Ek ghadi ghadi kaam aaye par kabhi kabhi call kare
Ek kabhi kabhi kaam aaye aur ghadi ghadi call kare

Gossip ka koi ghoomta phirta satellite
Koi sath rahe toh kar de sab alright
Koi effortless koi forced hota hai
Lekin har ek friend zaroori hota hai

Chatroom friend koi classroom friend
Koi bike pe race wala vroom vroom friend
Shopping mall wala shopping friend Exam hall wala copying friend
Movie buddy groovie buddy

Hi buddy…. bye buddy
Joke buddy poke buddy
Gaana buddy shaana buddy
Chaddi buddy yaar buddy
Kutte …… kamine 
Everybody… sab buddy
A to Z

Gin gin ke naam bheja roast hota hai
Par har ek friend zaroori hota hai

 Awesomeee!! :D

Cash & Calorie rich.

Heavy weekend , yet again.
Of course making me both cash & calorie rich.

Its almost becoming a family tradition now. When all the cousins are downtown - all we do is EAT.
Lunch at someone's place..dinner's at someone else's place ..so on & so forth. And in between all the time left - we talk , crack nonsense jokes , laugh on the same , click pictures & play cards!!
But most of all what I reckon is the fact that we EAT a lot :P

So apart from food ..what was special this time was our two hour session of Dumb Charades!
From movies like 'Aah' ( yeah thats a movie name..I found it in Google search results - after we were not left with many choices ) to 'Unns'  ;  the game was one hell of a laugh riot!

The best was when my sister was trying to explain ' Farishtey'.
She did everything to make her team get the 'Fur' part . She even enacted as an animal or something like that ?! lol :D
And despite all of the hints reaching to a 'material' - her awesome team members talked of silk , cotton etc etc - except Fur :D 
Atlast..all she did was enact an angel ; circling her hand above her head :P
*Tubelight!!*

Oh and then..the most hilarious one was a movie name ending with Raat ; Mr. A blurting out all the words in haste  ---- Untill he also said 'Suhagraat'
ROFL.

I mean , seriously...why on earth would we give that as a movie name for dumb charads ?? :P

And then we ran out of movie names as I mentioned earlier. Someone suggested to play Home Production i.e to create your own movie names! :D
Big B refused...citing example of how someone would explain a home produced movie name like :
"Is cheez ka tatparya kya hai "
Tatparya. LOL.

I also remember how my cousin tried explaining our team 'Ghatotkach'
Thats an animated movie.
He first gave us an object hint : Ghada
Then teeth > tooth :P
And from the combination of Gha ( from ghada ) & tooth - my smart team member yelled ' Ghatotkach' :D :D

I can't recollect more. There were soo many of them! And each of them made us laugh crazy.

That's my sweet little brother's gift to me :P I'm yet to receive a material gift , lol
But anyhow..this is obviously Priceless. :)

What happened. Something did.

 More of a statement than a question.

Things change.

I've lost the count.

So this is , lets say , the 'n'th time when things have changed.

And it makes me numb.
Absolutely blank.

When there is no analysis , no inference and no conclusion.
For all you know is that things have changed.

Its so bittersweet , I cannot smile.
I cannot weep.

There is the obvious sinking feeling inside. And everything farewell brings along with it.
And damn , it eats you.
Moreover the variables attached to the constants are already juggling and finding logic in my head.

But I must say at the end of it...I'm happy. I'm happy for everything. I'm absolutely sad about nothing.

And that in itself makes me more happy. 

The story of a Marwadi.

 Part I :

Guests

More guests
And even more guests!

Brownie points :
Special food cooked at home.
Home would never look so neat & perfect in every possible way.
First class.

Turn offs :
Thrown out of your own bedroom to accommodate them.
The talks about what you do.
The impossible- to- miss-stares after you tell them what you do.
The calculation their heads are doing to define the appropriate time for marriage (of course for you) - which is anything less than half of what you might have planned for yourself.
Self-praise. Too much.

PART II :

 Cultural Laxman Rekha 

Thesis :
No night stays @ friend's place.
No partying.
Guys not allowed to enter home.
Talking on phone with guys restricted or nil in some cases.
Books are friends. Why hang out ?! :-|
Issue :  Virginity , I assume ! :P

Brownie points : seriously ?? None what so ever.
Note : Most cases of eloping are a result of ones daring to cross this Laxman Rekha.
Most cases of guys getting spoiled too would fall in this area.
The more you restrict - the more boundaries crossed.

PART III

Marriages

Love marriage is an alien territory.
Typically the vices for our folks are :
Smoking. Drinking. Eating non veg.
And the fourth is - Love marriage!

The tedious ridiculous process in history of marriages : Arranged marriages!!
Check each other out. Read bio data. Interests and other such things.( Most of which are written just for the heck of it  :P )
One hour of rendezvous.
Few days time for approval--- without going out on date or contacting each other!!
WTF !!

PART IV

 Weddings

 Turns offs :

Read Part I  +  pretense  in every whichever way , in every whichever section.

Brownie points :

Get-togethers. Time off with cousins.

 The various functions which don't make much sense :P but fun to be a part of.

PART V

Miser ??

Stereotypes are stereotypes.

Definite believer in  : If you have it , flaunt it.

Reference : Diamond obsession . 

Reason : Competition :D

Baring apart few , most of the rich ones  live luxurious life et all. But they're misers in some areas.

Indulgent lifestyle.

PART VI

Family

 Joint families > Quarrels > Partition > Nuclear families.

a. Nuclear forever.

b. Nuclear yet bond with extended family.

c. Nuclear , bond with extended family , relatives , society..etc etc :O

Joint families ? - Extinct species. Fun. Pros & cons.

PART VII

Religious Values

Don't question. 

Just follow. 

Believe.

(  Personally I have no issues :P )

PART VIII

Passion

Business is in the blood.

Money. 

Stock market.

-----

Overall ..business families. Highly conservative. Typical Ekta Kapoor serials in some cases !
They want girls to get best education. But to not work after settling down into another family. ( ???! )
Baring apart the unnecessary illogical immature social and cultural rules our folks have  : Marwadis are nice people :P 

I always warn my friends not to fall for marus. Life after marriage in marwadi family is kinda difficult :P

Battery dead.

So its kind of obvious now.
 I invite disasters.

Starting off with my latest experiment with my hair. Didn't go well. And yes I did the usual..went back to the salon..fought with the hairdresser , made complaints , went mad... except that I'm so tired of having bad results that for a change I'm absolutely not reacting anymore.
It still remains a sad story. Its hardly anything to laugh about  , ok ?
But I will bring hell for the salon!

Severe changes in routine are misleading my appetite. I eat so much these days. Plus I've stopped going on walk. So its not balancing AT ALL.
I was rejoicing over losing an inch off my waistline. And that in itself took roughly 2 months. Now I see regaining just as much over 2 weeks :|
Body metabolism!! This is one god gift you must have :P

My temper issues. Its discomforting to me that I find myself not being able to work in a group. Yes I'm the over smart kind in that segment. I want things to be done  my way. I want people to listen to me not because I want to dominate but because I feel I'm right almost always :P And as long as I'm being logical and fast-tracking work...people shouldn't be having problem with my suggestion. But eventually the biggest problem is that everyone thinks that they're right! :|
It turns me off when everything that can run smoothly and perfectly goes kaput.
Credit issues as well. Huh. Group work is testing my patience.I only keep telling myself to calm down.


My battery is kind of empty.

There's no energy left to be mad.

Zindagi Na Milegi Doobara.

I just saw Zindagi Na milegi Doobara.
Its such a feel good movie!
The general perception is ..that the movie is about three friends going on a trip. But its so much more than that.

And no it doesn't lecture you what life is or meant to be. The best part is the movie DOESN'T PREACH.

No major emotional drama.Just a pich of it here & there ..and yet it covers friendship , love and most importantly - life ; without going overboard with any of it.

Loved all the shaayris narrated as background to the characters' foreground.

The movie name says it all.

Miles Apart.

You can broadly divide the world into two.

> Those who can sing || Those who cannot sing.
I didn't say don't sing. They just CANNOT.

> Chocolate lovers || Chocolate haters.
My pity with the latter lot.

> More lately..HP lovers || HP non-lovers.
I belong to the second half. Don't shoot me first half.Its fantasy , for godsake!

> Facebook account holders || Facebook account non holders.

> iphone owners || Non owners.
 Well they've rightly said it. If you don't have an iphone. You don't have an iphone.
 FYI : idon't.

> Photographers ||  'people who just cannot click!'
Sub part.SLR owners. Non owners.

> Movie freaks || Watching movies just for the heck of it / Least interested
Freaks = they'll go an extra mile in finding out bestest of movies from all genres across all countries. It does not include watching ANY crap released.So it ain't about the numbers.

> People who can dance || People who cannot dance.

> People who enjoy dancing no matter what || Boring nuts missing out on the fun.

> Book worms || ----- ( ???!!! )
This isn't about studies. I don't understand how some people do not like reading at all :P

> Love traveling || Hate traveling. 
 Latter one - another category I fail to understand :P

> Vegetarians || Non vegetarians
Sub part : Non vegetarians who hate vegetarians | Veggies who hate non vegetarians.
I don't see what's there to hate about what the other person is eating unless I'm watching them eat a killed animal :P 

> Bloggers  || Non bloggers

Mildly wild.

There goes a saying/idiom...that my dad quite often quotes..

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.

Obviously the horse in the context is me :P 

I have been too laid back & its time I do something about it. Although its pretty wicked to plan to do something when college is just about to start and I won't be having time :P

I won't say I thought..in fact this time I didn't think at all. But having been in the freeze zone for so long....

I just have this sudden urge to go wild. 

To take up everything I have been ignoring. And to make changes.  

Certainly something unusual. Now obviously I can't go skydiving here. Nor rafting.

So it doesn't have to be something huge or unique for starters.

 To bring about the changes...I began with deactivating facebook. Why ? I'm not an addict. I don't play games on FB.I don't put status messages. I rarely comment. I don't like pages there either :P But I just like to know what  people are upto in my network - which isn't so important. So I'm off FB.

I'm  going to get something done to my hair. No matter how many people advise me against the same :P I'm super tempted to  smooth-en my hair.

I went shopping & bought clothes I know I won't wear often.My friends have been constantly scolding me to change my dressing sense or atleast be a bit stylish. So  I picked up funky stuff which I'm actually loving.

What else ? I'm being a good obedient daughter and reporting to kitchen in morning - on time :P

I've started reading good books. Not novels. Good inspirational motivating books. 

And guess what ?? Of all the topics on earth - I discussed Love with a friend :P It actually got to another level. Platonic love. Physical Love. Lovelorn. Unrequited love. Death of a fully blossomed love! :D And before I knew it I was googling love quotes  :D

I'm not a huge HP fan.I haven't read a single book. Watched all the movies though except the last part which I'm gonna watch this weekend.Almost 90% people I know are so sentimental about its end. I guess I would feel odd too when the curtain drops. Isn't it strange or mystical how so many people together connect and relate to a world of fantasy ?? Its as if its happening for REAL. :-|  That shows books &  movies are just as powerful as music.The three delicious drugs of life.

Oh btw. My favorite love quote happens to be a book title. 

Love , a rather bad idea. All it gives is a hangover ;) :P

Idiot is Boxed.

For the next two years I might only curse myself when I look into the mirror and question what the F have I done to my life.
But this time I cannot blame anyone except -  myself.
( Somehow passing on the blame had become so convenient , I forgot what a scapegoat I'd become.)
So am gonna have to adjust to that.
I'm gonna have to adjust to the fact , and drink the regret/guilt that this could have been a prettier picture.

For an year I fought with my mind's innumerable voices..my indecision nucleus...and now when I'm concluding it - it feels so stupid I'd rather eat up the year gone by.

Its not so much about the time wasted or given...its about the final product.
What I did with it in the end.
And its killing.

I weighed my options so much and so many times that I killed every instinct and intuition there was to my passion.
It all just rotted while the time flew by.

But I guess its good enough that at least I'm gonna start doing something . I'm scared how it will turn out to be. I'm scared I'm not following what I wanted to. I'm scared that I'm jumping into a race.I'm scared I'm not going to a good college.

BUT

I'm just gonna go do it.

Because I'm an IDIOT.

An idiot who has vague plans to follow or do something about her big dream after 2 yrs!!

I'm mad with myself. Very very mad.

And I don't know what to do of my cousins.
They're supporting me like I just got myself into Harvard :P
How stupidly funny every damn thing is! :D

Phases || Drown OR Emerge || Value OR Blame.

Moving on.

Worst & toughest.

But the best part is

having

Moved on.

Without bitterness.
Without any explanations and expectations.
And most importantly...without having to deal with the feelings coming back every now & then.
But that's a phase too. Apparently tougher to pass through.


And after having crossed that , we reach a

junction 

where

Brews a friendship that is past all the disliking. All the issues and complaints.

And its so amazing , you realize maybe it was all worth it.

It was worth to have gone through all of it.And its definitely worth to reach this point.

 Taking time off helps. Occasional full stops help.
However knowing the difference helps the most.

The full-stop -
is
not 
the
end
of the
story.

Its
the end
of
one part.
Of one phase.

Just emerge
value
And
Commemorate
- while it lasts :P

Not necessarily so good.

Delhi Belly :

Its GROSS!
I don't have issues with slangs & swearing ; nor for any of the 'adult' scenes but enough of toilet jokes man! It doesn't make me laugh! Its just too pathetic to laugh at.
The 'yuck'ness this movie is filled with is appalling. Among other things . . . quite explicit for an Indian movie.
I won't say its bad. But its so gross you can't call it good!
If you've been reading reviews - you must think its hilarious.
No. Its ridiculous. And if you have a cheap sense of humor - may be you'd like it.( I think most guys wld like it :P )
Its funny too though. Some laughs definitely guaranteed.
Warning : Obviously nobody watches movies with family members nowadays but this one in particular is a STRICT NO.

Transformers :

2.5 hrs for a English movie is a little too much.For an action movie far too much. For an action movie in 3-D far far too much :P
I know people have loved it. But while watching the movie I suddenly had deja vu :  Terminator , Avatar etc etc. We've seen so much of 'destroying the planet' kind of action , so much of gunshots , aliens , machines and all that - there comes a saturation point.
There are a couple of really amazing scenes.And that's all. Doesn't find my liking.

Invisible stupidity

One feels small & a little unfortunate for getting trapped in mediocre thinking. For being a victim of society - mainly the 'issues' with society and everything else I only like to describe as 'blah blah blah'.

I mean Fuck it goddammit! The problem isn't who cares or who doesn't nor is it when someone makes a fuss...the problem is why can't we live a sensible lifestyle. Mentally. And culturally too for that matter.

I feel most of the religious sentiments & cultural protocols came into being due to our ancestor's own insecurities. Why it is to be carried & tortured over generations is out of my logic.
And I wonder why nobody breaks it.

Don;t you think its too much rubbish that hovers over our thinking and entire lifetime planning ? It could all be pretty simple. Love & live. With nobody predominately deciding what & whom to love ; nor how to live.

Being caged in ridiculous cultural obligations despite having a comfortable life is the most unfortunate thing. And you would know it only when you were made to go through it.

We are so backward about being forward.

I'm just a lil less than mad.

I maybe vulnerable

but

I haven't lost my mind.


Some things just don't feel good no matter how great they seem.


P.S : Since you don't GET IT -  Screw you !

Apple Analogy

Human beings should also have been a product of Apple. That way no matter what amount of crap you try downloading in your life , it'll never enter your system. And what cannot enter your life..can never harm you either.

We are more like Windows. Too much problem in the software. Truckloads of virus. And all we do is keep installing anti-virus which too isn't very  reliable. You never know when the system would crash. 

There's only one thing we don't do. Formatting. Erase ALL the bullshit along with the pretty pictures & start afresh.Clean slate.
We wouldn't need it either if only we were Apple made :P

And there's more plus to Apple. The products look dazzling :D
All of them :P :D

Ok I know its a stupid analogy..so at least don't counter it with gender issues ! lol :D

June fiasco.

I can't pass a day without :
Brisk walking.
I feel terrible for my body if I miss working out even one single day.

My sin this month :
Scratched Micra.I was probably imagining  that the car would easily squeeze itself to pass through a small lane with two cars on either sides , lol
I scratched it from both the sides on two such similar imaginations :((
I feel so so so bad but I don't exactly know how to compensate for it.
Its like..until the time I wasn't working out - I wouldn't shop. And just a few days back I decided I'm gonna go on a wild shopping spree.( Since I've been religiously exercising ) But looks like a colorful wardrobe is in danger for now.
Not shopping is my way of penance.

My new priced possession :
My sexy fossil watch. I LOVE it.

Gadget update :
Its sad & funny. My cell phone met with so many accidents , it fractured all its limbs. It was hospitalized & it is recovering for now. But you know about hospital bills , yeah ?!
Plus right now I so badly want a new digi cam - BUT obviously I'm not gonna get one.Not with my poor record.

Turn off of the month :
Wasting printing paper. I hate it when something unnecessary is printed or there is a slight error in every one of those 50 pages that you print - which then you need to re-print.

What I missed :
Kung Fu Panda 3-D. Like crap?! Why did I have to choose X-men over it?!

We always have a Choice

One of my favorite quotes or dialogue or whatever you may call it comes from the movie Spider man!! ( of all the things on earth! )

When Peter says :

Whatever comes our way, whatever battle we have raging inside us, 

we always have a choice. 

 

It's the choices that make us who we are, and we can always choose to do what's right. 

 Do we , really ? Always have a choice ? And who knows about right or wrong. Its all relative , right ?

But those very words always ring a bell in my ear. "We always have a choice"

 Just a day before , I was finding it difficult to digest something. To get over something. And I kept sobbing because I couldn't find any other way to channelize my helplessness. 

And today while on my brisk walk  ( I've come to realize my walk always brings good thoughts )

I happened to have found a solution. Or my choice.

I don't have to get over anything. I only have to change my mindset & look things through beautifully.

Strange as it may sound...an easy choice is always the one which has too many branches - of sympathy , of dilemma , of doubt , of confusion.

A relatively tough one is what looks unsettling but brings you utmost ease. 

I found my ease. My comfort. Without any sort of pressure , guilt , regret or sadness.

Isn't that great ?? 

  

Yes  , we do have a choice. And it matters & changes things from what we choose.

 I tend to forget how easy I can make things if I make an effort. Its always tough otherwise.No matter how much anyone would make me understand.