Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Statement of Affairs...'08

3 Cuppa coffeee [comments ]
Liabilities + losses
  • Studies ? The first one ..of course.. Accounts!!!
  • Tax , law, audit..audit sucks
  • Reads - long list
  • Re-inventing music { I hardly remember my previous learnings.By now I've learned 18 Raag out of which there's just ONE which I can play even in deep sleep.I do not sing.Though I really should.And I badly need to be thorough with all that I've been learning }
  • Movies - Rock on, Fashion, Dostana :(( & a dozen foreign flicks.
  • Cooking
  • Dance pe chance {One of my friend's learning belly dancing & I ?? I haven't even started with Salsa!}
  • Loss of frastrack watch
  • Study study study
  • Be good to Bubble. She is good.I've been real mean to her
  • project..on environment lol
  • Coll assignments
  • Old broken cell phone
  • Master plan execution
  • Chess
  • Skydiving
  • Driving [ I still panic ...err ]
  • Maths *glares* Oh yeah maths!
  • Exam is a liability as well.
Assets + Gains in terms of fun
  • New cell phone! {Murphy's Law or any of those Irony Laws - I knew once I'd buy a cell phone ..within weeks something better would launch..something I'd been looking for.So I bought express music 5310 & few weeks later I got to know about the touch screen express music model releasing in Jan hell with you @ laws }
  • Digi cam | Usage -> Not bad
  • Handy Cam | Usage -> Poor Less Depreciation *Warning* Asset turning into a showpiece.
  • I-pod Less Depreciation--> Back-light dead | Condition - Still usable
  • Electronic Dictionary { doesn't work anymore }
  • Mauritius Trip ;) Para sailing , sea walk , walk with LIONS
  • Close Friends
  • New Home smugs
  • The wedding@ Lonawala
  • Shopped wearable clothes
  • Shopped unwearable clothes to be worn after shedding off a few extra pounds
  • Family re-union
  • Black stilettos ..I love them
  • 2 new pairs of Sport shoes one in total black ; the other white + blue
  • Stipend Sad story
  • Cash/Bank savings
My Balance Sheet does not tally.Not only because I'm weak in Accounts talk bout pursuing CA but also because this year has been a sad waste.
I want to do something creative.I want to become a good CA.But I'm going nowhere because I'm not studying.Because I'm lagging behind.Because I keep on postponing.
No resolutions.My liability says it all.
Hope the next year is constructive.

Saturday, December 27, 2008


3 Cuppa coffeee [comments ]
I spoilt my x-mas.
Went to a nearby club which although arranges a party for kids , has the maximum no. of teenagers.I did not wish to go anywhere this year.Not even Church.But then at the last moment , I thought of going to this club...just for the food they provide.Its delicious! Too tempting to let go.
But the food was the worst I had this year.Worse than the Indian food we ate in Mauritius .
On top of this , the party was such a kiddo freak type.There were just bees of kids around running from once place to another.And some stupid games arranged for them.
The music I'll blame the DJ..who probably didn't have the sense not to play a song like 'I wanna F you' on X-mas Party.So loud.So clear.Nobody was deceived.
The crowd was disappointing.I mean there should have been at least one cute guy around ??
My bad , none!
I joined some 15 yr olds for dance.That was the stupidest thing I could have done.I should have sticked to the fact that I was there only to eat the food.But I danced! Like hell I did! grrrr! Thankfully nobody my age whom I knew was would have been embarrassing otherwise.

The funniest thing was that the children tore Santa's clothes :P lol!
And what I found much more funnier was that these 15 yr olds consider them self the queen & king of the world.I wanted to slap one or two of them .We weren't so silly at 15 , you crack brained young adults! :P
I seriously was in the wrong place at the wrong time.With wrong music , wrong food , wrong guys & a miserably wrong Santa.

Not my way of celebrating X-mas.Next year I'm staying home. :X

Monday, December 22, 2008

All that jazz..

2 Cuppa coffeee [comments ]
=>So after all the family re-union & stuff , I'm receiving shocking news about few people I know.On one side I was so happy & on the other I'm nothing but SHOCKED.Not dumbstruck.No nervousness.No kind of rage. Just a light side of shock.

Its about the two-faced people. :|
Its sad.I feel sad for them.

All I need now is a pool of money to spool them up with!
Can't wait for life to give an opportunity to enable me to shower money on some...some...yeah those people.Those really cruel ones.Snake in the grass!

Vengeance !

=>Prayers !! I'm losing faith in I not ?? I have to make myself pray.It doesn't come naturally any more.Or may be I'm just too ashamed to ask him for anything.

=>Diabetes has started its work.Attacked my dad's eyes.
I've become stone-hearted.I somehow wanted to feel my pulse racing.I wanted to cry.
But it didn't happen to me!
Have I become too selfish ? Or is it just that I was sure every thing's gonna be fine ?

=>Even though I haven't started earning yet ..not even my bloody stipend , I've decided what I'm gonna do with my first pay & all that follows.
Donate to a Diabetes research centre.
That won't be much but haven't we heard of the phrase...Many a little makes a mickle ;)

=>I'm going to be a great cook! No more postponing now.I need to get started with cooking.Its gonna be lots of fun.I loved making tomato soup yesterday. Chopping is fun too :P

=>I hate braggarts.But I hate over smart people more.Stay away you fools!

=>I've started working out finally! I had decided to work out somewhere in the month of April but then being me what I am , I kept it for some 'later' day.
Its good to sweat out.Its even great to have a feeling of guilt while gulping a molecule of sugar.

- Time to look for a good choreographer.I want to dance in the next wedding!! -

Monday, December 15, 2008

United We Stand!

2 Cuppa coffeee [comments ]
Blood relations are happy, healthy & strong.No matter what happened , & what could have happened - together we create a sea of twinkling contentment & joy. I never thought or even wanted to think of the time we could be together but now that we are feels like routine.Its been 4 years now that we had stopped all possible communication with my second elder uncle & their family.Correction* - They cut off all kind of contact with us. Reason still unknown.But thats not important.The good thing ..the great thing..they are back :)

Its going to take a lot of time for the ice to break between my parents & my uncle & aunt.But for my two sisters & me , it couldn't be a problem.12 years of togetherness + the 2 yrs of fun that we'd had after separation , overshadowed 4 years of abandonment.
I don't wish to know why they did what they did.I appreciate what they have done now.Past is dark , hurts & induces rage among us but the present & the future prospects are just equally bright.I love my sisters as much as I did anytime before & its great that we don't have to wait for any common event where we could be together & talk endlessly.

I went for dinner at their place after 4 years & it seemed like just yesterday when I was last there.
Thats blood relation...fragile but healthy.
We talked , laughed till our stomach started crunching.Priyanka & I can go laughing about any damn silly thing.Sometimes we laugh in silence as well.
Thats blood relation - sappy & happy.
We shared secrets.Yes , after a long time.I'm the listener ..always.So basically Priyanka spoke her heart out.And others too just generally discussed a lot of things.
Thats blood relation...strong enough to have an automated trust system.

I'm happy.Not overjoyed as I didn't ever expect that the coldness between us would never end.I somehow knew we all are going to be together once again :)
I had a wonderful time being with everyone.It was our new home's vastu pooja on the 12th.And the entire occasion passed peacefully & joyfully.Thanks to my 4 first cousins.And of course a special thanks to my sweet little brother who has been the bridge & key element in uniting our family.

The importance of big family is realized only in its presence.It gives a feeling of pride , strength & confidence.Lots of happiness & support alongside.Thank you so much all of you!! I'm so excitedly looking forward to spending time with all of them again.
In fact what could have been a better start than 24 of us going together for a late night show ? :P Yup , we watched Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi.Now as far as the movie is concerned ..I just kept laughing all the time as I was sitting next to priyanka.This younger taller sister of mine is crazy.Prachi is never done with her sarcasm.She's funny too.My cousin elder brothers also have the best damn sense of humor on this earth.Complete package of fun :)

I finally bought a cell phone as well.After almost 2 months lol.Thats icing on the cake!

Monday, November 24, 2008

Sizzling & sliced

4 Cuppa coffeee [comments ]
Sizzling - I had a great time!
Sliced - Few dark feelings ..terrible I must say

Went to a cousin's wedding which was at Lonawala.
For starters , half the people couldn't recognize me.I met most of them after a span of almost 2 years.They were like "Ohh you are.....". At first I thought maybe I'm looking better than ever before.Few hours later I realized I'm looking awful than any any anytime before!! >> My granddad couldn't recognize me! And yes , got some mixed responses regarding my weight.
Anki - " You are looking thinner" ( Whom I'd met just few months back )
Bubble - "Omg!!! Your cheeks !!" I know I know I chubby cheeks !
Xyz relative -" I was wondering who you are...whats the secret behind putting on ?" SECRET? Did you just say secret ?!!?
Anki's bro - " Haven't you put on a little?" Everyone started laughing coz by now almost everyone had commented. So he said ," Oh right , maybe I shouldn't have said 'little'." Everyone laughed again.
Grrrrrr. I wanted to go somewhere.No! I wanted to just go running over the treadmill! Or in an easy way , to be just able to pluck the plump out of my face!

Ok now what's with everyone ??! I'm not fat! My cheeks are not just chubby , they often swell which is I suppose a problem related with blood circulation etc etc..& grrrrrrr I was so mad with myself.*
THEN as if this wasn't enough , for spoilers I just realized I'm nowhere close to good at dancing.Or if not that , at least nowhere close to my counterparts*.I mean my cousins are amazing dancers !!
And they all were looking great as well! I was awestruck with the kind of dresses each one of them had donned.Not that I was feeling ill about it , but just just ..just..a little jealous* ..yeah was something like ..someone's beating you blue & yet you cannot scream.You cannot hide.You cannot run.The most eligible antidote for it is shopping - super shopping - which at the moment
To be a lemon among strawberries is some goddamn task , trust me.
*Three nails by now in the coffin of my passionate-feelings.
[ Looks & body , dance , clothes! ]

Moving over to the sizzling part , the wedding was simple superb! My cousins said they weren't enjoying as much as they did in the 2 weddings prior to this one , which I had missed , but for me this was fun.Probably because I met everyone after a long time & also because it had been years I attended a full blown marwari wedding.And I knew what I fool I was to skip the other 2 weddings.

For the dance , they all kept forcing me to perform , encouraging me & praising me while practicing , but in the end I didn't turn up.I wasn't feeling like dancing solo because my dance wasn't choreographed well.And yes , I'm a sucker for praises & compliments in things I enjoy the most.Not that it matters a lot, but it just matters to me when I'm among my peers.Dancing has always been one of my passions and there was no way I was settling for just a cold smile & few well-arranged-cheers.So I skipped it. Didn't regret at all.
And had a burning desire to reinvent the passion in me.Next time , I told myself.

The food was too good.Specially the lunch on second day which was from the bride's side.There were so many dishes & I thought even if I tasted every single thing , it'll be equivalent to eating the meal. I did not even think twice while taking over the sweet the second time just because it was so mouth-watering.I mean I forgot all the comments about my weight.Cannot compromise on good food ..NEVER.

The first night I was present with them , we took off from the resort at midnight to have hookah :P I know its crazy , but I was wanting to smoke like all my male cousins.But the place was closed down.So we returned & stayed awake till about 4 in morning - chatting , laughing , having fun.
The next day we headed for hookah again during afternoon.I just had 3 or 4 rounds of it.Since we had some time left , we went over for a drive ahead & stationed at a point.Beautiful scenery.
I'm not a good photographer , so no pics this time.

And then on the second & last night we all were together , Rach & I decided that we gonna make everyone stay awake till wee hours in morning & of course to have loads of fun.It was almost 1.30 am by the time all the ceremonies ended.And before we could catch the guys,they had gone to bed.But Rach & I knew how to force people to stay awake :P & so we did! Played cards , joked around , laughed , discussed love-marriages vs. arranged-marriages , careers etc etc.
Finally when there was nothing to talk about - I still wonder how could that be - everyone went to sleep.It was about 5.30 am.And I know how badly I wanted that time never to end.I woke up at 8 since I had to leave early.Again, my heart was pacing with the feeling of going away from everyone after having a wonderful time.
But then , all good things come to an end. Why do they have to anyway ?

What remains are the memories.I'm just too sentimental about these things.I shouldn't be because it hurts when I remember those moments.I did not realize how much am gonna miss them all but once I left them & was alone at home , I couldn't stop myself from crying.That doesn't happen with all of them.Its not a good thing to attach your heart to too many people.And of course , not to the one you are having little feelings for.......

In these two days , I liked someone.Not a crush or falling-in-love but just liked him.And the dark feelings kept crawling nearer to me because I knew I'm not going to get to meet him & to know him more.I had butterflies in my stomach & I hated myself for even imagining of asking him crazy could I be at times ? I told Anki about it.And she was like ' Oh good , nice guy ..should we initiate the talks?' lol ..I said no.I knew she was just kidding but I also knew she wouldn't ever understand what that feeling was & what it meant to me.

The time flew like crazy.I'm back & writing about it now ..checking out the pics twice a day.Feeling very lonely.
Can't wait to be with all of 'em again for the next wedding in April.And boy , how I wish he too comes there :P

Friday, November 14, 2008

Factor : Greed to Read

0 Cuppa coffeee [comments ]
# The Kite Runner
Writing style : Excellent
Theme : Redemption, kids , Afghanistan, Kites
Plot : Interesting.
Sub plots : Quite thrilling , predictable at times too.
I could tell Hassan is Amir's step bro.
I could tell Rahim Khan sends Amir Afghanistan not just to bring Sohrabh back to Pak but to take him to America.
I could also somehow tell the man keeping Sohrabh is Asef, the villain.
So with those expectations in mind , I wasn't on tenterhooks & so didn't find the novel too thrilling.But I loved it for its theme , redemption most of all.It felt more like reading a classic than novel.The author is immensely expressive.

The movie based on the same novel is a huge disappointment.Firstly , they shelved most of the story.And thats fair enough because you cannot put everything into a 2 hour movie.The biggest loophole was the fact that the most dramatic & momentous moments weren't shot that well.Like the love-at-first-sight scene , the protagonist's encounter with the villain . At least that could have been much better !The kite flying scenes were good taking you up in the air along with kites & giving a bird eye view of Afghanistan's crazy kite fancy.The star cast was ditto of what I imagined while reading the novel , not fully but for the major characters except for the villain.He didn't look dangerous , there were no green eyes , no kind of grin on his face ..& yes the beard looked too fake ...wonder why he was chosen for that role anyway ?? I always vouch for villains , they are supposed to be larger-than-life figures doing their part better than the protagonist/hero.But this movie did not have that element tch tch !

# Windmills of the Gods
Sidney Sheldon
Writing Style : Its Sidney Sheldon , sir !
Theme : Suspense , Political
Plot : !?!!?! ....Let that be suspense !!
Sub plots : I could figure out one or two things much before the climax , rest is suspense baby !

I don't know if I liked it or not.Maybe I did.Not very much. But a little ? Yeah I did like it!
Probably only for Mike Slade.I like mysterious characters. :P

# Lee Iaccoca's Autobiography
Breath-taking! Wonder how he survived through all those times! I didn't quite understand every technical part , but for the most of it - it was amazing!
A must... for car lovers ,
to-be-businessmen /women
Mechanical engineers or any engineer for that matter,
& a definite must for everyone who talks of struggle & pressure with work. Some lesson to learn.

Its time to move onto reading other books .I had put brakes on reading novels because someone made me realize that its a waste of time , it however was too hard to digest & so I resumed reading 'em.
But I better continue reading books that really matter.
Got to finish off Awaken the Giant Within & The Secret. Am half way through both of them.
Tony Buzan's Mind Map book , Use your Memory.
Six Thinking Hats by Edward De Bono.

If tomorrow comes [ Sidney Sheldon ] is lying on my desk too.What do I do ? lol

Currently Reading : Tuesdays with Morrie

Monday, November 3, 2008

Mystically mystified : 2

3 Cuppa coffeee [comments ]
So tell me , if I achieve something in life ..who should get the credits for it ? Just my 'good luck' or my 'hard work'?
What will you do if you get to know the answer ?
Oh please ?!
No seriously ? Look if I say its your Hard work that has been the ONLY reason for your success , it'll inflate your ego.
If I say its your good luck , you'll feel lucky.So..

Thats not an answer.
What are you going to achieve by knowing it ?
Thats not even the point.I want to know!!! Just like you say our lives have been already written.So suppose if I attain something by working my breadth out , am I not worthy of the credits ? Is it just luck we all have to push it upon ?
So you want to have all the things in life without working hard ?
No..but ..oh yeah , could I be that lucky ? :P
Luck plays an important part.It sets the foundation for your goals.It opens the doors for a lot of opportunities.BUT , if you do not wish to work hard ,you are not going to get anything in life.
But if its written...that I'm going to..then who could stop it anyway ?
Like I want everything in life without working hard.But you must know , that is against the law of nature.
And what if even after working hard , I don't get what I want ?
Bad luck as some may call it...practically , I'd suggest just one thing - be prepared for the worst.No matter how confident you are.
And listen , everything happens for the good.Never complain.NEVER!

Practically,all right..only so that I do not break down.But just generally..what if l don't ? if I do achieve a lot , people are going to term it 'good luck'.Won't it feel miserable ?? that... after long hours of slogging , my hard work is just good luck ? And when I fail..mostly I'll be termed as being lazy , selfish etc etc.So if my failure is given technical terms , why not my success ??
You do not need any kind of certificates from anyone.Be self-certified! Thats the biggest achievement in life.
And btw , who's really talking of hard work ? Are you ?
- embarrassing yet I'm chuckling-
I am ..I am! Ok lets forget people.
Now just tell me universally , practically non-practically , just anyhow , in any damn case... WHAT is it ?
If you throw a stone in flies till some distance & then drops.While it travels through the wind with a good speed , the stone believes it is superior & strong & therefore is proud & egoistic.Stone thinks it the is one & only one who through its own capability is able to fly through.The stone takes the credit.
The wind on the other hand claims it is the one who is strong & powerful & the one which is carrying the stone.The wind takes the credit.
Good luck & hard work is similar to it.You shouldn't be bothered about the credits.It doesn't matter at all because even if you ever get to know the answer , you won't be able to change anything about it.
Make yourself strong enough & rise like a phoenix.Nothing in world can beat self esteem.Elevate yourself.

This is just a snippet of the conversation.I summarized it at few points.By the end of it , it got too heavy on me.I don't need more hints.I'm being asked to work hard.How really tough that gets , doesn't it ?
But I wasn't convinced with the answer.Its killing me again just like it did anytime before.

All confused gone !!

Friday, October 31, 2008

Mixed emotions

1 Cuppa coffeee [comments ]
My cell phone is dead ! Broke into 2 pieces , although it was already pretty much broken.It didn't quite have any goddamn features anyway.Living without a cellphone doesn't take much.I just cannot reach my friends too easily.They aren't a click away anymore.

My i-pod is paralyzed.Its back- light is dead.So it gets a little pesky to turn it on & much more confusing to select songs.But I had separate folders for the kind of songs I like to listen depending on my mood.So its not getting all that tough to operate my i pod but still its so weird !
Too much for my gadgets this Diwali :|

Mum was mad , as always like always at me ( for again those typical things ) .She decided not to serve dad dinner .So I was like huh , ok why is she doing that when she is mad at ME ?? ...I got my answer pretty soon.
She orders in an annoying tone , " You make the chappatis & serve dad"
No way ?!
What kind of madness is this ??

Ok I can make chappatis pretty well but hello !?!
She was gone. Its just Dad , me & kitchen for now.
The dough was already prepared , thank god ! It took me about half an hour to make 7 chappatis out of which I almost burnt the first 2 , lol. Oh yeah , its been a long time I'm doing that so little errors are fine!!!
Dad , " I had the best dinner in years." A big smile on my face.I know those chappatis weren't all that but my daddy is the best !! :D
"After all you cooked it!" A much more bigger smile. I'm loving it...go on please?
He needn't say anymore.That meant everything to me , already :)
I love you dad !!

I did lots of shopping.Casuals- none.Just bought glad rags which I wonder when I'd be wearing.I think I won't be even wearing one or two things out of them.And yet I bought it just because I loved it so much, lol ;) But I seriously think I got a little too much stuff.I needed more of casual & formal which I didn't buy because I couldn't find any :| ..yeah the jinx yet again! But since I could find other good clothes , would wanna thank mum , my lucky mascot for shopping :)

Walking down the street at bout 9 , I had the most amazing feeling.Felt liberated.Felt happy.Felt energetic.Felt like I was flying.I
Festivity has its own charm.And what more could it be with a cold wind blowing overhead ;)
I love this street at night , specially during this time of the year.Every house is lighted with those little lightings , Coconut trees by its side , The wind - breezy & brisk , Faint noise of the crackers.And me , walking down alone watching & feeling all of these.
In other words - an indescribable enigmatic mojo , all around . I'm loving it !!

3 of my cousins got engaged => 3 weddings => Lots of shopping => Lots of fun => Lots of good food :D => And lots of fun again ! :)
I just hope no exam clashes during any of these weddings.I don't wanna miss even a single moment out of those glittery events.

And those dark hour moments lasted for 3-4 days.I already see dawn with speckles of orange in the clouds.Waiting for broad daylight in life!

Friday, October 10, 2008

Dark hour...when's dawn ??

2 Cuppa coffeee [comments ]
I'm back to my mode of > my-world-is-shattering , of getting frustrated , of crying for NOTHING , of feeling helpless , of wanting to turn into a robot & behave like one - following instructions - having no mind of mine at all , of being upset , of not wanting to be happy no matter what , being disappointed , of disappointing , of cribbing silently , of nagging , of volcanic temper just waiting to explode in fact not waiting at all ..who said I'm that patient ??

Things are not so great.So I'm nagging a lot.I don't know why I break down for little things like I freaking couldn't watch a movie with friends.I've been crying over little things that shouldn't bother me a lot.And yet , I cannot help it !
What do they say ...The darkest hour is just before dawn. Is that true with me ? Though I don't see what is dark about my life.There are just several things I'm not OK with.Worst , I cannot change them ! So I do only one thing that am really good at - do nothing ( & at least blog bout it )

On top of this , I have an urge to give up the course I'm studying as I'm not getting to do things my way. But its a dead desire. Somewhere its a prestige issue as well. So I have to carry on with it anyway. But I'm not being sincere enough , nor am I honest to I know I have to end it.

I feel like running away somewhere , fleeing in other words.
Its hard to accept but yes I'm not quite liking the way I'm living or made to live.What I think is that when I have all the facilities available to me , I'm not enjoying as much as my friends are!!
Dad is being more strict than he ever was :-|
Spats with mom are a routine now.
Not many hang-outs with friends.
Very very clumsy living .
Music is on standstill.My sir is probably quite mad with me.Or disappointed ?? I'm suddenly charged up & religious towards learning music only when I get to know from him that his other students are doing pretty well. That arouses my feelings , but only to last for 2 days. I'm definitely not proud of this attitude of mine. Freaks me out !!
And to make it real bad ..I didn't score as much as I expected in the music exam :(
Both , my sir & I thought that I did pretty well with practicals & both of us were pretty shocked with the result.

AND...apart from everything else , talk of material things - I lost my fav watch :(
Have no idea how , when , where...but it wasn't on my wrist before the lecture started.And I'm kinda habitual of looking at my watch again & again , so if I would trail back to the events of that day , I think it just fell over while crossing the road ? Or fell over while I was on my bike.
Now , that shows how absent-minded & careless I could be. Another side of my attitude thats freaking me out.
I want that watch back... or somebody fix my Rado watch !!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Italian Envy !

2 Cuppa coffeee [comments ]
Tried putting a catchy title.Its related to the post , of course!

My cousin went to Italy.
[ Do you know how badly I want to go to Italy ?! ]

For 7 days..know the places ? Rome , Venice & Florence.
[ Do you know how I'm dying to see the Colosseum ?! ]
~Double envy~

Best part about the trip ?
[ Do you know that I would want to go with the best of my best pals ?! ]
She went with all of her FRIENDS !!
~triple envy~

Why don't such things ever happen with me ? She went on a coll trip.Isn't that like Wow ?! Some coll she is in ! How I wish I'd taken up interior designing..would probably have been in her coll , city & most importantly Italy !! Yeah yeah..I'm happy for her but jealous too.
Just talked to her & she sounded too tired didn't get to know much about the trip.But poor chick , didn't enjoy the food. People actually love Italian food & this girl told me that everything she ate was 'tasteless' ! lol , that's a funny thing I heard.
Never mind..who wants to go there only to eat the much famous Italian Pizza ?! Not me ! I just want to be there because I'm extremely impressed with everything I read 'bout the place & all that I saw on tv.

Anyhow , I wont ever in my wildest dreams ..dream of my coll taking me for such a trip.
But I could at least wish to go there as early as possible !
Whatever xyz thing ..magic & all that..which is suppose to fulfill wishes..just reminding YOU ..this one's on the top of my list ! So make it !!!
An envious desperate wish should never be let down , you know ?

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Out of the thoughtful maze

3 Cuppa coffeee [comments ]
Sometimes everything seems to be falling apart. Since last 2 weeks I have been constantly thinking of two particular things.I mean I have been thinking so much..that I've had sleepless nights. All those thoughts would remain at the back of mind , no matter what I'm doing.Its like someone's firing bullets at me ..I'm right there alone , having no reaction to it at all & then those bullets just fall over all around me , for me to pick them & think of them.Each & every bullet is a thought relating to me .They just keep coming & never want to leave me.I do not know how I'm suppose to destroy them.And I'm tired of it.Not frustrated but exhausted.I then visualize holding a shield to let all those bullets bounce back.Bullets never bounce back , I know that.But these are 'thoughts' & I want to shoo them off.I want to get into the state of thoughtlessness.Having nothing on my mind.But its difficult not to think of anything when you are awake & doing nothing. But I really need some peace.Lots in fact.

I then sit back & it looks like there are several different people inside me , speaking to me.The optimistic,the dark,scared,fearless,confident,skeptical & many more . Each of them has their own theory on my perplexed thoughts. No suggestions from anyone , just the pros & cons. And if you want to make a choice between two things & all kinds of possibilities have been laid down for you , the already perplexed thoughts go from bad-to-worse.I feel like making every inner calling of mine numb & dumb.I just ask them all to 'shut up' , because I want to talk to the real me.What does she have to say ? What does she thinks ? No she doesn't wanna think at all.Because she wants to follow her dreams - day dreams or pipe dreams - whatever the world may label it , she just wants to make it !! Striking the right chord.

I feel I have created a maze for myself.And I don't know the way out of it.I'm in there , running in every direction , in every lane - dark, gloomy or bright..running & running .. just wanting to get out of the massive thinking.And I soon realize that I'm back to the point where I started from.Its a maze .. so that was bound to happen.But I'm not afraid.I'm not hyper either.I just want to get the hell out of it.Every brick in maze is a thought.As I pass by , each brick says me something.And as I said..I just don't want any more thoughts ! I don't want to ponder over any of those thoughts ! I need to get some special chip inserted in my brain which would keep all the trash away from my mind.All that disturbs me.Wish the scientists are working on it ?

And lastly , it looks like a jigsaw puzzle.Some pieces are missing , some are vague , some destroyed , some unavailable. And so I don't have the prefect picture as I could never integrate the puzzle.Looks like I just need to leave it at that.I shouldn't be thinking about my thoughts , the passion & the conscience.Let it all just naturally fall into its right place.I'd push it all on my destiny.Now , I'm not the kind of person who 'd ever say that or want to .I still don't like saying that.I'd never want to keep things saved for my fate.If its my dream - it has to become my property for real , & destiny ain't gonna get any credits for that.If its the conscience - oh well , that comes first anyway. So I take it back . And now I speak - I'll create my own destiny. I'd make things work for me the way I want them to.Its just a matter of time .That's yet another cliched line that every confused thinking person wants to say.But the fact remains , it holds true.You could never tell of times - anything can happen.

So no more thinking & no more thoughts.Thankfully dad gave me lot of work to keep me busy.And I must say I don't know half of what I'm doing.But I do have to use my mind to do the work.Its tedious but I'm loving it anyway .

And of course , I'm out of the million-thought-maze.Had a bird-view of that puzzling maze & I must say I created some state-of-the-art thing, lol. They would actually want to declare it a wonder of the world.....I never mentioned that those bricks were embedded with gems & the lanes were lush push ..not the red-carpet-welcome type but the green lawns.I had environment on my mind lol.
I haven't completely stopped thinking. Its just those particular thoughts , that have been bothering me that are kept at bay. I hope I've got over it.
Yes I have !! I'm content with myself.I'm happy.I'm just gonna move with the flow.

And now I'm thinking of the incomplete work & dinner.Yeah , I'm hungry. ( Somebody might just want to say - all the time ? :P )

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

The Shopping Laws

1 Cuppa coffeee [comments ]

I might have pulled out about a 50 outfits including shirts , t-shirts , tunics , tops etc , from just one store. I filtered the selection & chose 10 tops finally. But that was not the end of it.I then wanted to try them all to be sure it just suits me.

# If one had a deep neck line , the other almost suffocated me.
# If one was too long , the other was too short. [ And what I wanted wasn't available ]
# If one was fitting well , I didn't like its color anyway or it didn't suit me , so I thought.
# If one just looked nice otherwise , looked horrible after donning .
# If one had weird sleeves , the other had weird sleeves too which didn't look bad when I first saw them but ....uh

For all the others , I could pull out one or two flaws regarding color , fitting , looks etc.

I bought nothing.
I was frustrated.
I felt like throwing all those clothes out of the shop, I was so mad.
I wanted to yell & ask why don't they have good stuff at all ?

[ The chiller change in font indicates the chilling madness involved ! ]

Checking out other shops , I found nothing yet again.Even if I did find anything good , it wasn't something I really needed. I , for the first time in my life went shopping for formal wear. And all I could see was party-wear. Then I decided that I'll look for casuals & not just stick to formal.But just tricking your jinx by letting it know that you are not looking for what you wanted to buy in the first place , doesn't fool the jinx ! Jinx is too smart for a desperate-shopper.

Talking of shopping & jinx , here are the shopping laws that I read some time back in a form of quote.

If you like it, they don't have it in your size.
If you like it and it fits, you can't afford it.
If you like it, it fits and you can afford it, it falls apart the first time you wear it.

lol.. such a thing never happened with me ( the last one ) but let me just modify the laws as per my experience.

# If you choose a outfit, and try it on - it won't fit you.
# If its a size larger, the smaller size won't be available .If its smaller, the larger size was bought by someone minutes before you entered the shop.
# If it fits you, you do not like its color.
# The other available colors won't be your favorite either.
# If you do like the color, you loath the price tag.
# That very day, there won't be any such outfit that you would find for a price lesser than what you'd seen.
# No discounts during such times.
# If you have some membership card through which you could avail of some benefits , you forgot it at home , forgetful baby.
# If at all you are ready to pay for it , somebody already bought it since you were taking ages to decide !
# You choose next thing, & you see a friend fancying the same outfit.
# Hell-bent on being different, you drop the plan of buying it.
# Later , you realize she never bought it.
# If finally you like something, it fits you , is affordable .....

............ you won't go shopping that day because it would rain heavily & by next time bang ! the outfit is swapped by someone else & you didn't even know if it did exist. Huh ?

There's a lot more to it..the laws that is.
One thing that freaked me out the most was that I'm sick since the day I went shopping & found nothing Good ! Bloody jinx!

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Some relief !

4 Cuppa coffeee [comments ]
  • I'm back on wheels ! After being caged at home for 2 months with little allowance to outdoor commuting , I'm finally freed.Feels great ! So what was I up to all this time ? Nothing ..just no-thing ! Surfing , watching TV & movies , listening to songs & everything that comes under wasting time when you are a student of Chartered Accountancy. The big dig - why was I caged ?
  • Dad anticipated that I'd meet with an accident anytime in the past 2 months.I would have loved if he had given one particular day or week time where I'm supposed to be careful.But then I couldn't pester him much for that ! Since I've had met with few accidents earlier which were nothing so serious as the word 'accident' & I scored few bruises every time I skidded off , he was very worked up this time.
  • Though last year when he warned me , I didn't drive or even rode my 2 wheeler at all for few days.But then when things have to happen , they do happen.I was on my friend's 2 wheeler , she was driving pretty fast , she hit the guy on bike in front of her & we fell.She didn't get hurt that badly as much as I did.I mean I couldn't walk properly for 2 days as my right foot was terribly swollen.
  • But then I didn't really fracture my legs or hands.And dad always maintains that I'd always have some protection even if I meet with an accident.So I was wondering why wouldn't he let me commute at all ? Not even by car ?? Did sound ridiculous to me. He insisted strongly & since I'm not suppose to question or argue over his predictions , I chose to do what he asked me to do.
  • And that time has gone by. Its not like I didn't move out of house AT ALL , I did go to watch movies or that friendship's day party , lunch over cousin's place etc , but it was all within a range of 3 kms from home. I had terrible problem explaining friends why I didn't attend classes or why I never turned up for so many events so many times.Even if I told them the actual reason , they would have found it too silly or would have mocked at me behind my back.Some joke box this topic could have turned into. Thats where I preferred lying.I also understand why they would react in such a manner so I'm chilled about it .
  • So a 100 lies came to my rescue.I think its OK to lie when you have got to have the better off you. But coming up with innovative , logical lies & the ones that fill up the gap of suspicion is a tough job. Nevertheless , I've got over it & its been 2 weeks now that I'm attending class. - relief - ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  • The nearest accident-prone zone from my house has finally got a signal.Its a square of course , but one of the lane emerging out of it is at 45o angle which also has a thin lane by its side at an angle of 30 degree towards its left.Ahh , its complicated & this is the place where most people hit onto each other.But then we finally have a signal & when I first saw that , my reaction was " Oh looook! My my ..we have a signal here ?? " ..jumping out of joy like a Kid in a candy store :P
  • The fact that I decided to change my cell phone & also the server has brought relief to the people around me & to me too.I mean finally I have made up my mind to buy a new cell phone.All this time , I did look up for some nice piece but was never convinced so thought I should not chuck away this old broken piece which I like anyhow , as it really doesn't matter how many times I drop it or just throw away - its still working , broken but working :D
  • The dog I have been talking about ran away ! Yes R A N away ! : No wonder why I was feeling like some thing's left out ( was so habitual of listening to its barks ) I came to know that it was unchained which in itself is a rare thing to happen & the rarest of them is that the day he was unchained , the door was left open by dunno whom but lets not get into that.What remains is that the monster fled away & I actually felt like partying or getting myself a cute little puppy pet.But I'm not.
Apart from this . what isn't balancing the relief is the fact that doctors have given words - grandmom ain't gonna regain her eye sight of her right eye.We have plans to sue the doctor for negligence as he never told us about her weak retina & how operating that could be a serious issue.

I'm sick.I'm weak.The food doesn't taste anymore.I'm on liquid diet , soup & juice.Fallen ill second time in a year huh ? too bad !

Friday, August 22, 2008

Wedding Makers..

4 Cuppa coffeee [comments ]
An uncle came over for lunch a week back.During lunch , he asked me to make something , anything that I could.I thought I should give him options such as tea , coffee because thats all I can really make .But he wouldn't want tea or coffee after lunch .Before I could say anything , he said , " Make me some cold drink.It'll be your test.If you pass , I will start looking for a guy for you !"

I silently asked what ..???? ..although I wanted to scream aloud .He didn't say that ..did he ? Oh yes , I figured out he said exactly what I heard , because he was grinning.That was embarrassing ! The heights is I too was laughing.And I still don't know why ?! huh ! My parents were right there , my mom facing me , dad just next to me & I felt like curling up & hiding somewhere.My parents have never talked about marriage to me.When my mom hints it at times , I look daggers at her & then she doesn't dare to add any more to it. I've mentioned this before that I really really really don't like to talk bout this. And here , look at my uncle ..he's gone all the way up to look for a guy for me !!! Oh c'mon I mean I'm so young + there are a dozen cousins of mine elder to me who are to yet to be married. I'm afraid ( for my uncle ) that half of them are still not at that age , where they could just marry! So wayyyy to go for me!

My family, talking of the larger version of family i.e my mom's side & dad's side & grand mom's side family cannot stop thinking of marriage . And specially my mom's side family.I don't understand why they fancy marriages so much . At every get together , they [ not the uncles , all the aunts ] would talk of who's next & then who's the one after the next one , & again who's the third one in line on , finally discussing bout the little toddlers & just- born as well. Then , they would talk of how old they would be at these lil kiddo's wedding.How would they look then ? By that time , the one who's just gonna get married will be having 2 kids who too would be at the age of getting married !!

Yes , they discuss that ! They actually do ! I wonder why diamond jewellery has taken a back seat in their conversation ?! They laugh bout our weddings ?! Aren't they kind of swapping away the novelty out of our special moment ? Why don't they just watch the video & pics of their wedding ? They could discuss who-wore-the-best-saree or something like who-had-the-most-beautiful-necklace ? I'd suggest them this.
Or may be not. Because then they might end up talking bout their old friends & through some default linking reach this - "Oh they have a son who's working in Mumbai . How does he look like ? Should we see him for CCC ? [ Some cousin , revealing name isn't important - it could be any of them ]

OK, but they do have hearts.They understand our feelings.So they are not just joking about it but also serious.Look how much they care for us ?? They start finding eligible mates much in advance!
Moi at 18 - "Gonna look for a guy for you."
Moi at 17 - "How old is she ? "
Moi at 16 - "Just few more years to go."
Moi at 15 - "Now , after few years , its her turn after XYZ."
Moi at 14 - " In school now ? Then college & then you'll get married."

They didn't spare me even when I was 14 !! And this isn't something that only I'm facing.All my cousins do.But its quite easier for guys.They can get married anytime they want to. They can even go around with someone in the meanwhile & they don't find it embarrassing when talked bout their wedding! But we girls ?? How can you manage to face your dad after your relative have just talked about your marriage ?? Specially when you are 18. I mean I will have to make myself comfortable with this when I'm at the age to get married. At that time , I'd probably be the one , "Oh hey , look I wanna get married to this guy ." They won't find that embarrassing , will they ??
Some of my cousins , the girls , are habitual to all this.So they've kind of been able to handle such situations. They don't find it weird , for one.And secondly , it has become a part of their daily conversation as well.I'm targeted the most - the one who's told all these stories.Oh my , it cheeses me off !

To all my relatives , and relatives' relatives & so on ...stop it! Will you ? Give us a break ! Look for guys when its the right time.Fine , it takes some time to find the best for us , so you go hunting for grooms when we ask you to .There are major issues apart from our weddings for you to discuss !!
Ah , whatever , talk of anything else dude!

Its time my kins stop playing Cupids because there's a helluva time for us to play couples.

PS : They are not ACTUALLY gonna get me married at 18 :| Its just that they love talking about it again & again & again.....yet again! Only Drawback of being in a Marwari family :(

Saturday, August 2, 2008

In a Fix..

3 Cuppa coffeee [comments ]
I'm totally jammed. What's worse is that I've found myself jittering with the decision-making.
Ok , so the situtation is as follows -
Adi [ a school friend ] called me up on Friday inviting me for the Friendship's Day party. I knew I couldn't go because of a story thats highly weird & funny , jittery as well . Will write that later..huh. So this gal asked me to reach an Italian food court on Sunday. I had to quickly think of some lame reason why I cannot turn up for this party.So I told her that I've got to go out of town for a family function. She fumed , first.Then , lectured me.

"Yaar you always do that . Every time we invite you for any party , you have some function!"
I was just trying to recollect how many times have I used this excuse ? Just once I suppose. I wanted to revert back..but a lecture is supposed to be a lecture , how on this earth could that be stopped ??
"You didn't come for lunch last week at Priyanti's B'day ..
[ I couldn't because of that weird story again ..]
you didn't turn up for my party
[ That was in Jan , I had to prepare for CPT dammit! ]
, you didn't come at Rucha's party either !!"
[ Ah well , I didn't feel like , take a broom & hit me now..]

If you don't come THIS time , we won't ever invite you again."

That felt good I tell you.No , not the fact that I wouldn't be invited again but the fact that for the first time in so many years after leaving school , I felt that yes these friends care for me.They want me at the party ! woohoo ! And so much pestering & lecturing & cajoling from Adi , was like a woohoo again . I felt nice . For one , that they really wanted me to come. Secondly , I just loved it man !
I was mad with these school friends because they'd go out for movies & stuff so many times but never ask me to come along.Then , I just started ignoring such things.But I was always invited at b'day parties , of girls only.I don't talk much with the school guys.Hardly in touch with any of them & I don't know why but I always felt awkward talking to them after we got out of school. I was tagged "shy" in school . Introvert too , by these guys. But its not true. I really don't have much to talk about !!

Anyway , back to square one. So Adi carried on .. " Look , you don't have to go for that function.We always wonder why you never show up.So please come it ??? And its been like an year now , that we've met ..we'll have lot of fun're coming ok ? "
It took me an hour to manage to ask dad if I could go for this party.He allowed me finally!
Next morning , I told Adi , I'll be there.

The twist -
On Saturday , I logged into orkut & found that it was Abhi's b'day. Texted him wishes.He called back & invited me to his party at that same Italian restaurant.
Now , first of all ..its was so difficult for me to get permission for one party.On top of that , here's another one just a day before the permitted party. I was in such a mess.
I desperately wanted to go to Abhi's party . The only reason being that I'll have all my F CA [ future CA ] friends out there! The ones I currently love being with. It had been long since I met all of them . And since I feel out of place at any of my school-friend's party or at any party with school friends, I really wished to enjoy this one.
But I had already given my words to Adi.Also , there was noooo way , absolutely no wayy to ask dad for permission for yet another party.

I really would have gone to Abhi's party , & that wouldn't have made me feel guilty about missing the Sunday party. As if it is , I don't enjoy being with school guys so much because I do not talk to them & its weird to be going to a party when you talk only to the few some girls.
So I thought of backing out of Sunday's party but then I couldn't.I shouldn't.Had I known that it was Abhi's bday on 2nd , I would have given another lame reason to Adi to escape the friendship Day party. But too late for that.
This was some kind of a puzzle or catch-22 situation. No matter what I chose , I was to be in a fix.

Finally , I basked in the party of school friends , feeling helpless about everything. The deal of never being invited again , as Adi said , didn't sound worth either. And on the other hand , I didn't like sitting like a plastic doll in a party , smiling occasionally & having almost nothing to talk about.
Ahhhh , I think I should have backed out.But I'd paid too :

But anyway , the party was fine.Danced & all that.Great food ! Didn't talk to the guys as usual except one or two who had enough modesty to come to me & wish me. The only thing that hitched me was that I had to pay for this one & not a meagre amount.In fact , I had to pay a little too much.Everyone did.It didn't quite pay-off in the end , but its fine.No cribbing , shh!

Everyone loved my outfit .And specially my stilettos :D. But I shouldn't have worn them & danced..having a terrible back pain now!

Monday, July 28, 2008

Blue eyed bloke

3 Cuppa coffeee [comments ]
My friend invited me for lunch yesterday.Actually she took all the old mates for lunch.B'day treat it was.I didn't turn up yet again! Its so pathetic to be unable to meet up school friends over a lunch in rain.I haven't met this friend since an year now.Just another week & its going to be an year !! Whereas we stay in the same city , around 12 kms away & I usually go for tuitions in the area where she stays.She had been a very good pal of mine since schooldays.But now she & everyone's scattered.I have made several new friends But the old ones are the good damn old ones.

This girl whose luncheon I could not attend is pencil thin.We used to call her Olive.The other girls of my school group are also as thin as thread.No matter what they eat , how much they eat ..they always maintain their weight.And none of them is into rigorous sports.They have great appetite. Not the kind who would starve themselves up.These girls can have a chocolate cake EVERY single day & yet they won't put on! This is so very much envious for a foodie like me.I feel guilty even if I gulp down a molecule of sugar the day I work out & look at these girls ! tsk tsk. So I'd rather ask for such body type than wishing to be slim all my life because I seriously cannot give up eating delicious food just to avoid putting on.And if I have such body type , half the battle is already won , no actually the entire battle is won - I can eat anything & everything , I can stay slim !

From girls to food envy.. to guys.. to girls envy...

A friend speaks -
"Did I tell you about that blue-eyed guy , the fair one."
me : "Yup , what's cooking ?"
"I talked to him."
"And ? "
"I fancy him."
"Of course you do , I know."
"No I mean I never had such a serious crush ever in my life."
"Oh I see "
"So you know..talking to him felt like wow."
"Yup , you must have felt like you've won the battle of Panipat."
"Love isn't war"
"Someones talking love ?? Crush is crush , its like ciggy ..will glow for sometime & die into ashes in some more time."
"How do you relate winning battle & all that ? Are you in your senses ?"
"The euphoria I was talking of ."
"Put your your brains into correct gears so that you have better examples of display of euphoria."
"Its in reverse gear right now. So you think he likes you ?"
"He's committed."
"I so desperately want to see his girl."
"I understand."
"What ? What's there to understand ?"
"See there are too possibilities. If you find that girl so-so'll be like 'ah he could have better had me'.If she turns out to be pretty , you'd be like ' B**** where did she come from ? How can she be so gorgeous?"
"Haha !There you go ! Perfect gear ! you do understand."
" Lets eat pizza to celebrate your first talk with the blue-eyed guy...quick."
"You think I'm gonna pay for few more treats like this ? the ones celebrated in the joy of my little talks with him ?"
"Not probable enough."
"Why not ?"
"You remember the 2 possibilities ? A fair handsome guy with blue eyes ...obviously
must be having a gorgeous gal."
"Kill you !"
"Pizza first !!"

Friday, July 25, 2008

Review ( scrapped )

1 Cuppa coffeee [comments ]
Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na ˜˜
Meow = Genelia = Aditi
Rats = Imran = Jai

One of my pathetic attempts at writing a movie review.I would have let this one stay up here as a reminder to the fact that I'm really bad at this ! But the response from my blog readers ( who never commented here ) made me scrap the very little review.
'Not so good yaar'

Ctrl + A --- Delete

Thursday, July 17, 2008

The Tale of 2 Movies

2 Cuppa coffeee [comments ]
Sarkaar Raj. ˜ ˜ ˜

I was told that Aish kills Abhi in this movie.So I watched the entire movie with that mind-set. Yeah , she's gonna kill now ! Oh hell , mannnn , she's gonna kill.Bloody hell , she shouldn't! In fact , when Abhi was shot , I was wondering if I was dreaming or something because I didn't watch Aish killing him. But I patiently waited.Then when , Sarkaar was detailing as to what happened & how , I thought he's gonna take Aish's name. But he didn't.
When I came back home , the first thing I did was to call Nik, a cousin [ Gosh , I have a hell lot of cousins ] & told him that I watched SR. He laughed & said "Liked it ?" I was so mad but his laugh made me roll on floor laughing. I was like " What the hell , I was waiting all the while to watch Aish kill Abhi , & you loser ..what did you tell me ??" He laughed & he just laughed.Idiot!!

Anyway , the movie was good.Few people have thrown their entire frustration on this movie yelling out loudly that the movie was crap.I don't think so.I mean what do you want ?? To be watching this movie from the director of "Aag" , I think was quite ok.RGV's fav style of close-ups , dark backgrounds , in fact only black backgrounds was flaunted in this movie as much as it could have been.But since it was a political plot , I think it was fine.The story-line was fine too , only because it made sense by the end , something rare to find in movies these days! The background music went well with the theme of the movie. The one dialogue that I particularly liked was by Sarkaar - ' Killing is crime.Killing at the right time is politics.' It sounds better in Hindi actually. Acting wise , all were up to the mark.There wasn't much for Aish to do , but I still think she was nice. And , To all those who find this movie over-rated should be made to direct a political movie.I bet , they wouldn't even have people to rate their movies.

Hancock ˜ ˜
Superheroes have become a part & parcel of our lives.But then there are superheroes & then there we have Hancock , an all together diff superhero.I don't know if he even should be called a Hero.He destructed things more than he made people adore him for his supernatural powers.Its a short movie with one big twist leaving you awestruck. Pre-interval , its all you could have summarized watching the promos , people hating Hancock. Lots of Will Smith close-ups watching which is NO delight ! The actual drama takes place post-interval.The big twist ! I loved the scene where Mary ( Charlize Theron ) flings Hancock out of her home via her kitchen , & of course our destructive superhero making dents in several cars & also breaking the kitchen wall is dumbstruck. So we have a superwoman !!! The rest of the movie looked interesting to watch but then it turned out to be lame. I had to watch this one in dubbed version as the English show wasn't available at the time I went to the theater.It just sucks to watch an English movie in Hindi.I mean to hell with the ones who dubbed it.Why can't they be a little literal while translating the dialogues ?? "Mamu" thing is such a turn off.Imagine Will Smith saying that ! Jeez !

I'd also want to share something funny.I texted Nik today in the morning saying - ' Watch Hancock.The leading actress of the movie is also a superhero & she kills the hero . Go kid , watch it ! ' ...whereas the fact is that she doesn't kill the hero! Lol..Nik giving you some doze of anxiety& disappointment. Just now , I got his msg . He says - " Tu churail hai !" [ You are a witch ! ]
Haha ! He also added that he's gonna take revenge for this! Poor chap , as if I'm gonna listen to him when he tells me the story of any movie now onwards.And basically he laughs so much on the phone , making me laugh too , & so he double-laughs ..that he won't even be able to narrate me any story in future.

I wish he was here right now.I'm in a kid-mode wanting to throw a Bronx-cheer at him & giving a witchy chuckle.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Uh huh

2 Cuppa coffeee [comments ]
I'm lazy & have been lazying around.I cannot give one valid reason why I don't do any household work that which I really should.So the atmosphere is all up against me.The stupidest part is that in spite of realising my duties, I never act for them. "Uh, what's the use now ?" I'm like such a jackass.

Someone : Don't you have any responsibility ?? Shouldn't you learn household work ?? When I tell you to do them , you say "later".When is that later going to come ? I'm telling for your own good.You will face lot of problem in your life , if you don't do as I say.

'Lot of problem in your life'...'you will'.Future tense.I know what that indicates. 'Someone' meant to say that after I get married in-laws are going to make me do lot of work . I will have to do all those crappy things at home that I can actually get done by other people by paying them. I hate this future broadcast of my life regarding marriage & all that oh-so-after-you-get-married-jazz. I'm so damn young dammit!

Meanwhile , I stared & clutched my claws for I had to tolerate this loathsome lecture which is in a way an eye-opener but I don't wanna listen anyway!

Someone : Just eat , sleep , watch TV , surf net !! That's all you do! Just studying & attending tutions isn't everything.You are a girl & you have to learn all the household work. You never even step inside kitchen .Have you ever offered to make tea for me ??? Let one thing be crystal clear in your mind ..even if you have 10 servants at home , you will still have to work !! Understand ???

Limits ! I'm blamed for not entering the kitchen & the fact is that I not only step in kitchen but also raid it. And about learning the household chores , I'm gonna do that ..but... gimme a break ! Please .

Also, if I have 10 servants to do all the household chores for me & I still have to work , then technically speaking , I'd be the poorest person on this earth! Huh
I need a glass of water.Chilled one.And a cuppa cold coffee.

Next few days after this episode , went well.Flew my RC chopper & my stupid cousin flew it so high , that he had to eventually drop it over a rooftop.Earlier it so happened that another cousin of mine didn't stop pulling the trigger & we lost our chopper.So I desperately asked him not to do any such thing & simply pull off the trigger.The chopper crashed , broke & we cannot fly it anymore .But we at least have the dead body this time! I enjoyed flying it , so I didn't do anything to my cousin.No slapping , no punching ..just few taunts for such non-physical blows have a long lasting effect.Not that he is going to buy me a new chopper , but I can get a lot in return by teasing & bullying him every time.

I'm no jackass , I just know how to be the Jack of all kind of benefits. :P

I want a new chopper. [ my dear cousin , are you listening ? ]

And I want to study too.Or else I'll lag behind as always , followed by offering prayers , crying , 11th hour tension , "what-do-i-do??" kind of questions to every living being I know , asking them such things more for a miracle to occur which never occur & then the history repeats - bad scores.

Having my coffee now , which is hot , cold coffee is passe as I have a terrible head ache anyway.

No prize for guessing who 'someone' is!

Tuesday, July 1, 2008


2 Cuppa coffeee [comments ]

<--- Was 10 times beautiful when seen with naked eyes.

The lions I walked with >>

<--- Belgium Boy ! I bet you thought the kid's a girl :P

Waiting for another plate of hot French fries to arriv
e , I happened to take this snap.

We were taken to this lovely island after being soaked in water. There was a restaurant just as we stepped on the sand.The only one , I guess.
Smart people ..this is how they plan - make people wet after sea walk , take them here , let them shiver & make them eat expensive French fries.

Monday, June 30, 2008

Sun , Sand & Sea..

4 Cuppa coffeee [comments ]
I still visualize beach all around me . I still see some really pretty sunsets as I close my eyes. I can feel the breeze with my hair frizzling all over . I can vision the roads , the calm & cool environment & peace all together. I'm so high on my feelings that its going to take me lot of time to overcome the same :)

Wonderful is how I'd describe my short & sweet trip to Mauritius. Its not a very beautiful place , but one of the nicest place on earth to be at ! Family & Ankita , technically a far cousin but emotionally a very very close friend of mine, & myself flew down to this island .

I enjoyed every second of what I had spent there. Even losing out money. Ah , I'm not habitual of carrying purse & I didn't know where I'd kept it ..Ankita was asking me if I'd dropped it on the road while we were walking down towards the market that evening . Dumb I thought she must be to ask me that & dumb enough I must be to drop it & not to pick it up again ,lol. I was actually not in my right state of mind. Too tired , perhaps. I just kept it at the desk of one of the stores while checking out some stuff there. We went ahead & 15 mins later , I realized I didn't have the money to buy dad's T-shirt. Dad wanted me to keep the track of money , so the purse with some 2500 Mauritian Rs. was my liability. The rest along with the passport was at the Hotel locker. Thank God ! The purse I was carrying was pretty small . So I didn't realize when I left it. When we came back to that store where I presumed I might have left the purse , we found some pity in the eyes of shopkeeper. Two ladies in fact , the best actresses not to act in any films. People are so clever when it comes to stealing & hiding later. Damn ! My mom constantly taunted me . And I constantly felt a heart-beat-skip every 30 seconds. Damn again !

We searched a lot & couldn't locate it. Dad didn't say a word against me. He was actually quite cool. Dad said " That's ok. What else was there in the purse ? Just money , right ?? Relax Kids." I took a deep breath. Ankita later asked me " Your dad is really cool , isn't he ? I have never seen him going mad on ur messed up things !! I would have been in a fix if I'd lost that" .

I said , "Well , yeah , he is cool . And actually I already thought I was in a big mess after being so careless.But feeling safe now! What I feel bad about is , we looked at so many things that we liked a lot & we didn't buy it thinking why to spend money on it. And now when we've lost the money , I feel it would have been much better to buy those things in the first place " . She chuckled & nodded. I actually intended to say that I could have invested that much sum in buying a new cell phone . tut tut !

Day 2 - Port Louis
This was a city tour. We spent 4 hrs at a shopping hub after some sight-seeing.It was a very hep place & now it really did look like we weren't in India anymore*.Only window shopping was the theme my brains were to set in I put down the clothes & things after checking the price tag.
* How ? & why so far did it look like we were in India ?
Because so far , we only met Indians at the hotel & the shopping area we visited the day back and In spite of the beautiful beach being opp. to the hotel , I couldn't convince myself that I'm on an fantastic island.So after visiting this place , Anks & I took a deep breath , for we knew , that yes we are in Mauritius! Of all the crowd , my eyes were fixed on Mauritian guys with spiked hair. Cute ? Nah !!! Not at all ! . Those were extremely funny-looking & weird as well . I've seen guys fancying the gel-spiked hairdo , but these seem to be going way beyond one's imagination.I pity for not capturing them in my cam even once , lol ! It looked like as if some porcupines had captured their little heads & made them shorter. And that's not all , many of them had pierced at several places right on their face. Some had even put kohl in eyes + made some design with apparently the same or may be that was a real tattoo...! Designs on face ?? Tattoo ?? On face ?? I've never ever seen such guys who seemed to have come from some other planet or precisely some other galaxy. But such funny & exceptional incidents did make up for an hour's conversation at the hotel , for us to laugh over them when at 6 in evening every shop , pub , discotheque etc closes down!

Day 3- Casela Park
Won't get much into details like we all saw Zebra & turtles like 3-yr-old toddlers or that we missed Quad biking & Tango jump ..whatever the latter one was but it looked fun , and we missed it & yes we missed it !! grrrrrr . But I had my remarkable adventurous day! Walked with 2 lions for half an hour , touched them & got myself photographed with them ! The only thing I can tell bout lions is that - they aren't photogenic ! [ like hell , they look so dummy in the pics , damn!] And for the video , I appear with the lions for split-seconds for I was the only one to go ahead with this "walk with the lions". There were 3 couples with me & one Indian family & of course the guide ,whom we considered our protector .Mum dad least interested. Ankita said she was scared of dogs , so how on this earth could she walk with lions ?? I wanted to kick her , punch her , slap here - left right left ! The lion surely wouldn't have attacked her , but I knew I'm not gonna leave her for she left such a nice opportunity! It was an extremely good experience but I wish I had a personal camera-man or photographer to shoot me along with the lions ! :P
Ok and finally I do have something to brag about..
Look hey , I walked with lions :D

Day 4 - Sky & water
No , that's not the name of a water park or hotel . We were literally in sky & in few mins , in water. Para-gliding with a landing in water.It was quite windy & it looked like it would rain just any moment.So Anks & me decided to go together for para-gliding. Amazing it was ! The beach was spectacularly beautiful & greenish blue. Both of us were so engaged in looking here & there across the beach that we didn't notice the instructions those people out there on board were giving us.They yelled , four of them , asked us to pull the strings but both of us were in our own world. And actually we were wondering how could they land us so early ? So well , with no regards to instructions , we swiftly dived in water , also wetting the parachute. They didn't care if we fell in water , all they wanted was the parachute to be safe.
But bang bang ! lol , they were so mad ! Those black men , one of them actually looking like a real-life example of phantom with his blond hair , green eyes & black black ultra black skin , sharp features , [ No i really have no idea if thats how phantom is suppose to look , but that's our version of phantom ] just yelled out & asked us why we didn't pull the strings .

We said..err..yeah..we couldn't pull it , Anks even bruised her hands

But the man who was riding the speed boat said " No I see , I see , you not pulling , I see "

loll !! Most of the Mauritians are Indians but they speak Hindi horribly . And even their English is pieces. Haha ! We just laughed & guess what ? I was just joking before take-off & said to Anks that we must land in water , what great fun would that be ?!! Oh yeah , what great fun it was after we really did fall in water , lol.

Next , we went for sea walk. Not very enjoyable for Anks as she stepped out in just 30 secs after being under water because she started having massive pain in her ears.I stayed for few mins.They clicked my pictures. I was given something in hand , some fodder , & all the fishes came kissing my hand.Black & white fishes which we could see even w/o stepping inside water . What was the use of going inside then ? , asked mum . lol she never went inside but yeah mom , point to be noted ! But the use of going inside for me was , never ever to try that again . Also , to give up my plans of scuba-diving. I can hardly swim anyway & if I felt suffocated due to the oxygen mask , so I shouldn't try that for sure . The speed boat was great fun . It even drizzled , adding more fun to our water ride.

Day 5 - South Tour
Went to see a million yr old volcano , which now had the shape of a crater. A forest was made out of it , & it looked like a forest-valley w/o water . I wanted to push our travel agent into this volcano , for he had hyped bout this place so much & sadly it wasn't very impressive , lol.But it was a nice place , the weather was very pleasant & the cool wind was blowing powerfully.Mr. Agent ,you must thank god ..because you are safe.We went ahead to see a waterfall , lol , & here as well Anky & me were just joking that look what a waterfall it is. Both of us are greedy for extreme fun & cannot compromise on that , so of course these things are nowhere on our agenda ! Next the seven color sand , quite an exceptional thing it was.Also went to a temple & the spot where the MOST beautiful scene of Mauritius can be seen.It was difficult to say where the sky met sea or if it was sea or sky that we were looking at ! It actually merged so well. Quite a visual treat ! And we visited few more places like the ship factory & some malls.

Day 6 - Turtle Park
Turtles & crocodiles , that's all it was. Actually we had planned for Sub marine , but due to bad weather it was canceled. And to kill time , we choose this place.I was a little freaked out that day.Because when I checked all the pics , my pics were pretty less . Those pics looked like a film made on my younger bro.So I thought , firstly I need a personal camera which I'm not gonna co-own with mum & also I'd hire a prof. photographer next time onwards wherever I go :P. Had lunch , a little more sight seeing & off to hotel. Then spent the rest of the evening at the beach.

The Mauritian trip made me a very good listener. When Ankita starts talking , you just have to listen.Once she even spoke for non-stop 3 hrs & I carefully listened to everything she said.Then when my turn came to speak , she almost dozed off.It had struck midnight , but I wanted to wring her neck.Damn , why doesn't anyone listen to me ??

In all , had great fun ..loved the place & would like to go back there again.But it isn't a family destination , lol. On the beach , there were usually only couples & Anki said she felt like kicking them in water . Haye! Ye ladki ..bheja fry case hai ekdum.But I agree , it really got irritating at some point loll.

...some special & funny moments cannot be penned down but I re-live them every time I think of Mauritius :)

Sunday, June 1, 2008

The Tribute

6 Cuppa coffeee [comments ]
I read To Kill a Mockingbird a couple of months back. And I read it again after a gap of 3 months because I didn't follow it well the first time I read it . In fact , it happens with me every now & then. I read any interesting novel or classic , I hurry a lot to finish up reading it . Mostly out of excitement. So I do ignore lots of things , that being the reason I haven't been able to follow some stuff that I read. And for the mockingbird..I don't think I still have answers to all my questions. I mean , yeah I did understand it better than before but I still have too many doubts and issues. Its a classic. So why the hell am I so serious ? Because it is a classic !! Not some Sidney Sheldon crap where everything & anything happens & it really doesn't matter what's what by the end of it . I might not understand the classic yet..but I've got the essence of it. At least a part of it is something I felt in my life & can relate to it . So its not really fully 'bout understanding what you read , its more 'bout being able to apply it in your life & juicing out the crux of your issue. And so far as my story goes..its all for mom !

I felt very hurt because of some major emotional setback . Ok it ain't that major & that's why I'm not even going to state it . Its about complications in relations with people whom I love being with ! Unfortunately , there's not much that can be done now. And I seriously don't want to create any drama just for the heck of it ! All I know is , I bursted out crying after I realized what's been going on. Its a little too complicated to explain so much so that even I'm myself unable to sort it out just to know the reason behind it . But anyway , I know what I felt that time. I couldn't believe I was crying. That day I felt so bogged down that even a pizza & chocolate cake wouldn't have been able to offset the feelings. Mom added her part to it & I had butterflies in my stomach. I always mocked bout her anger , but it seemed like my entire argument-session with her revolved around my eyes . I always said that I look out at things from her point of view but No ! I don't ! I never did ! It was a fallacy on my part & it just broke . I really for the first time ever in my life realized what it was by viewing things from her eyes. All I did so far was looking at things from her angle but not her eyes. Now I know what the little kid in the classic meant by stepping into the shoes of her dad & looking out at everything. [ OK no I ain't so dumb not to understand that phrase ..I know what stepping into some one's shoes means ]
I finally understood her feelings , her anger , her frustration this day because I myself was hurt. I could imagine how much hurt she was when she went through that bad phase of her life. And she still is. Because she is a mom . Because her perspective bout life isn't like my dad. But I don't have any problem with that. She just cannot make herself forget the past & I know why !! That is where I know what it is to be looking at things from someone else's point of view. Its not just about the different interpretation of the issue , but a lot about understanding the feelings on the same front. I have paid a tribute to my mom . No I didn't start learning up cooking which she badly wants me to nor did I make her veryyyy out-of-the-world happy ! But having understanding her correctly & respecting her for the same , is my tribute !!

Ok , a lot being sappy now ! The tribute doesn't mean that things have suddenly changed & I listen to all all all that she has to tell me . It also doesn't mean that I've started behaving differently towards my mom. I'm all the same . We still argue a lot but What makes me happy is the fact that I finally finally realized what it is being my mom . And its making me feel a lot Free as well . Cheers to the Freedom ! though I ....Wonder what captured me anyway ?

And it seems like its been a month of tribute . I paid tribute to my music sir as well. I think I've been doing that since long least every time I play harmonium in rhythm & stupendously ! But that's a sense of Joy that a teacher feels when his/her student performs well. My sir is a poor old man. He is poor that he cannot afford a land line phone connection. He is poor that he manages two meal a day for him & his son & that's all that he wants ! I' never really got to know him a lot personally but the day when he was rejoicing over the fact that I'm his Fave student because I adopt the technicals of music pretty quick & all that jazz...he got a little sentimental & told me that for him life is music & music is life ! There are many music -lovers I've known but none like him who can create a handsome fortune out of his talent ( he's old & poor but a man of extraordinary talents ) & yet has done nothing to coin money. I had an urge to ask him why did he not earn much or why didn't he even ever try to use his talent on a big scale . I did ask him that . He didn't have much to say ..nor did he seem to regret anything. What impressed me a lot was that he wasn't running for money in spite of the fact that he is actually running out of money !! This topic pops a lot many times & he's happy all the time for what he is ! There are few things which cannot be explained & few emotions that cannot be made to emote on paper. And there are few questions which will always be left unanswered. All because emotions cannot be rationalized ! And I respect my sir more & more as each day passes by ..
When I feel bad for and about someone & I step down in his/her shoes to watch out for all that has happened , is happening & will happen. ....& I pay my tribute !

Gifted my sir a cell phone :)

Did you notice , I gave a very calm cool "awwww-so-cute-humble-smile" . lol looks fake , doesn't it ? Did you notice I just smugged ? Only because I'm so proud of what I've done ! But the fact is I ain't all that good ..& let me just put down the bad side ..Sir asked me a hundred times to buy him a cell phone as he could not afford to spend so much amount at one go ! And I ignored his request a hundred times ! I just heard him ..never listened ! Why I did so is something indescribable..I really don't know what made me not do him a little favor for so long ! But I'm amazed by his talent ! He plays the musical instruments Harmonium , Tabla & Flute so fine that you feel as if he has just spell a cast on you ! The mojo of music when he plays the instrument is superb !

There are still many people to whom I have to pay my tribute but I'll do that only when I strongly feel for it because that is when it will honestly come out.There is something really Great about Genuinely offering Gratitude to the people who matter a lot in your life !! And well my tribute to my dad is an on-going process which has to be re-processed since I haven't followed him well lately.

On its way dad ...A Tribute !