Sunday, January 20, 2013

140 km/hr

3 Cuppa coffeee [comments ]
I love to drive my micra :D
Got a chance to drive on highway again. And this time I scampered at a speed of 140 km/hr.
That's the max speed I've been able to dart at.
And it was awesome :D

 An  instant plan made for a day trip. Instant with my circle would mean a plan made ATLEAST 12 hours before its commencement :P
I'd almost given up at a point. It was a bit annoying to coordinate with everyone. Calling , deciding , confirming , de-planning , almost cancelling ,  re-deciding , confirming , informing! :o
Eventually we all made it and am glad we did!

The place we landed at isn't too amazing. A lake and temple is all we had. A lake where having fun was restricted to paddle boating :P 
But with a bunch of crazy friends , every place is fun.

Last sem. The very last sem. 
 Hopefully I'd have better things and such trips to write about than the crap I've put up in last one year.


There are always some issues in family. I think the person I take for granted the most is my mom. If she wants to vent .. if she wants to share... if she's mad and hurt...she would talk about it to me. Not the kind of talk where I console or offer any advice. The talk where I listen. The talk where she is HEARD.

Often I'm too busy in my phone , tv , newspaper to not hear a word she says. She would complaint about it and I'd try recollecting whatever little my ears catch. That's hardly compensating. Soooo taking for granted.

I've never had a very friendly relation with my mother , nor did I attempt at having one. It was long clear to me we wouldn't have that sort of rapport. And I've been OK about it. But ignoring her is wrong. Ignoring her is a sin. Coz it doesn't matter how much we share or not , doesn't matter how much I might have upset her previously and how much she upset me... what remains is - she is my mother who cares for me like no one other.
Strangely , sometimes my close friends share a better communication with her.
 It makes me feel so guilty.

Realizations though are good. Better late than never.


I keep saying I'm or precisely - have grown heartless. Aky says its not possible. I pondered about it and yes maybe am not. Because I haven't been rendered emotionless.
So I figured there's a part of me , a part of my heart which was capable of feeling strongly has gone in limbo.

That explains everything else.

Why am not that over excited kid. Why I don't get a rush. Why am smiling but people sense something else and so on.

Although the best effect of this semi-dead heart is that I don't think much.  I don't form opinions , the philosophical dos and donts of life and I take everything , the good or bad - equally well.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

I don't say bye.

2 Cuppa coffeee [comments ]
You know I hate that part. The goodbyes. It really kills me.
Whether its me leaving the people I've spend time with which always seems like a dream.. or it is these people leaving me all alone at home after a week full of fun.

I didn't enter my room last night. I was dreading I'll end up crying. And when I cry.. I cry like a baby.  Yeah it feels bad..but aren't we too old to cry for such things ?

I handled it well though. Its a feeling. It'll pass.
My heart isn't heavy and sobbing.
 Its like am sedated.

I would have patted myself for being a little emotionally stronger . Its a good thing. It is something thats coming to me after a long long time. *smugs*

Last year ? Flew by , as usual.
Friends and fights. New friends. Wedding. Cousins.
Family politics and crap.
Usual except for the feud.

New year resolution : Just one.
Work out . Work out. Work out.
 Thrice more than before. Specially because I didn't stick to it for most of the year.