Normalization is difficult , no doubt.
Specially since along with it..there will be changed behaviours and attitude.
Ofcourse , I hate the idea of losing the friendship. It was amazing.
I cannot be indifferent regarding the whole thing. And am not talking about that one episode. Am talking about the aggregate of what has been going since a long time.
The cumulative effect is massive.
So , yes..maybe it does not actually hurt. But it certainly feels bad.
When I've chosen to let go. It implies =>
You loose me = I loose you!
It not one sided! The loss is on BOTH of us.
You say feelings do not change overnight. Thats true.
But behavior does. And somewhere tagging along the same..feelings will change too.
They have to. I see no other option.
I haven't made a stubborn decision. I already know the best possible reaction.
And am gonna follow it.
I should trust my guts now.. because I've been right about almost everything EXCEPT that one thing that is making me look like a complete fool here. Not that 'you' fooled me. Only , I fooled myself!
Yes, I'll ignore.
And yet , we all know..it can never be like before.
I do not judge this mess on right or wrong parameters.
For me - It was unfair.
It was fucking unfair.
I give too much. Selfishly speaking.. I never got back much - plus as for now - whatever I did get in return , to me , it ceases to be bonafide.