Friday, December 21, 2012
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
The hard to find happy..
When mom understands me and consoles me. Even if it means not fully supporting me.
When I cook American Coupsey 'with readymade sauce' and my sister says..it was awesome.
Even though we both know it wasnt a big deal.
When I make someone happy on the day they expect the world to treat then like a celebrity.
Surprises can steal hearts.
That big broad smile on my friend's face.
Even though I hadn't been too good to her.
When someone understands the sound of your voice in texts.
Even if you think they don't care for you.
When you can comfortably laugh with you friends about your issues no matter how severe they may be.
Even if it doesn't allow any solution.
When I'd let go.
And my friend returns.
Even if it means it will never be the same.
When you start ignoring statements and situations that turn you into a nervous freak. That upset you. That don't let you be normal.
Even if it may mean...the strategy could fail at any point.
Monday, November 19, 2012
The first half is ultra boring. The story spins around a couple of dialogues that hardly make any sense..songs squeezed into the movie with no head and tail whatsoever. ZERO chemistry.
And yes..srk is old. So there's hardly any charm left to our love hero.
Katrina - whether she can act or not - looks like a goddess. The outfits she has worn in the movie is the ONLY thing worth seeing.
SRK rocks in the army look. Rugged & rustic. That suits him much better than the happy-go-lucky-poor chap- look who tries so hard to seduce !!
With the army look - he needn't do anything.
Black t-shirt with black glares.Killer!
The only reason why I could survive through the first half was due to the ridiculous comments we made :P Like how Anushka Sharma resembled a frog :D
The second half is tolerable. I was expecting something sad towards the climax. Turned out to be an absolutely DUMB end. Lets not even get into the story!
--- Skyfall : Ok I have no idea why people hated it. There were stream of comments on how the movie was the worst Bond film ever.The movie being more about M than our Agent 007 , so many loopholes etc etc.
But I liked it. Vulnerable Bond. Weaker. Kept me on hook till the end.
It may not fit the James Bond league..but as an action flick - it is worth a watch.
* Diwali *
It has been a week long celebration for us. Just about the usual..dinner or lunch at some or the other cousin's place. But super fun as always.
I made this King size Rangoli. The biggest I have attempted till date.
Took me a good 4-5 hours. And since I haven't been exercising at all these days..the squatting gave me a good muscle pain for the next two days.
I haven't been writing much. Rarely. Just don't feel like it.
This happens to be my 350th post. Finally! :P
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Constantly trying to figure out what exactly went wrong.
Sometimes I feel everything did. Some other times it feels nothing at all.
Its as if the parts and parcels of our lives were inside a box..which were shaken so badly , some precious things fell out. Just like that.
And while I've been trying to pick those things and get them back into my box...they're probably replaced or broken. Or well ..don't want to be in that box anymore.
I am desperate to know to what extent have I been wrong..to what extent am I to feel guilty. But it doesn't sink in. Never felt so hollow and empty.
When you have a breakup..you go cry to your friends.
But when you break-up with your friends..whom do you go cry to ??
I wonder if I should have spoken less..or whether that could have gone terribly wrong too.
My patience was killed.I lost my temper. And I was blunt.
Even then..the problem really is that of Perception.
And it is annoying , displeasing and unconvincing how much things can change 'coz of the same.
Not much that can be done.
The outcome of the events is ultimately disastrous.
We'll be friends only in pictures now. Pictures of wonderful amazing time we've had.
Pictures , which I doubt will ever turn into reality again.
Apparently , it kills.
Sunday, October 14, 2012
The same stuff all over again.
Human behaviour is something you can do nothing about.
Ego is a parasite
Sometimes all you need is an answer for WHY.
I value my friendship more than my friend's ego. And yet it feels like am being blamed for a non existent fight.
Friends forever sadly has a shelf life.
And writing ? What happened to writing in all this chaos?
Turns out all I was left with to submerge all the deafening screeching voices in my head - was to write.
Write it off.
Maybe after a while things would be normal but it wld not be the normal normal .
The same lesson again...
Things change. People change.
People change. Things change.
( only god knows why at such prime moments common sense & emotion evaporates ! )
But whatever the case maybe..in the end ..nobody likes losing friends.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
They're fooling you.
Competing is important - agreed , but mind you ..winning is everything.
And you wouldn't realize that until you take part and win!
I won second prize in another business idea competition and Kotler's Yard.
We're through the first round of confluence as well.
Pretty fantastic week it has been.
Now for the Kotler's Yard ..we had to bid for certain materials like cotton balls , ice cream sticks , straw , playing cards etc , make products from them and sell it off to the non participants ( who btw were given ONE RUPEE only per head )
We bid for cotton balls.
And while all others indulged in some high creativity , we focused on our marketing part. As it is we didn't have much of an option to create anything extraordinary out of the colorful cotton balls.
So we made rings , necklace and bracelets :D
Our team was probably the only team with the highest number of items to sell. Almost 40 rings! All other teams with their really fantastic creative products had only about 10-15 items. Plus they priced them high. We sold our rings for one rupee each :D
Although each team was given 2 mins to convince all the customers wherein we marketed pretty well - with all the humor and nonsense :P - at the actual time of selling we were in a virtual fish market.
Screamed our lungs out to sell our product : which was the most fun part of the entire competition.
The team that won first prize were amazing. They marketed stylishly. And they made the maximum use of all the things they had their hands on. Plastic bottles! - Created a hukah pot , pen stand , small lanterns ( our of the funnel of the bottles ) also made use of the bottle caps!
If it were a creativity competition - we wouldn't have even grabbed the last spot :P
But then we're smart no ? :P
Never lose the entire POINT of doing anything.
And trust me - winning certainly is important. It boosts you so much.
My feet was above the ground.
I was almost flying that day. Almost.
And here's something for a friend who was a lil mad at me : Akshay! A cuppa coffe ??? :D
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
:D I laughed excessively today so much so that my stomach is hurting badly :D
Now here's the story :
I have small eyes. So sometimes my friends call me Chinese. Although I don't think I look Chinese in any whichever way. But then there's a popular stereotyping , small eyes = Chinese!
We went to see expendibles. The name of the Chinese woman in the movie is Maggie.
So I have been renamed Maggie!
They all have been adressing me differently since morning - Chowmein hot soup , Noodles , Maggie etc etc :P
We were studying Retail when somewhere the concept of Chindia ( Chinese + Indian ) came up.
RS : "Namrata in India is Chindia"
This maggie woman in the movie was 'baby sitted' by Stallone.
So my other friend - Viny whom I call my Superman and sometimes even 'baby' :D , consistently joked about baby sitting me. And every time the others called me Chinese , I put up a little drama "Babyy..look what they're calling me :(" :D
My superhero would then give a stautory warning to everyone not to tease me :P LOL
I know..it doesn't sound funny in writing. You've gotto witness the episode live :P
And then there were some other jokes which I cannot mention :D
Oh and today was the second time in a fortnight that I 'almost' lost my phone.Almost.
It would have been an insult had I really lost it. Because I only damage gadgets ( Technology doesn't survive in my hands. Its an altogether long story! :P)
Never someone who can misplace things.
I'm a very organized person. Ok maybe not very..but more than people normally are :P
So had I lost the phone..I would have seriously disliked myself.
I wasn't as hyper about the prospect of losing phone as much as I was about misplacing/leaving it somewhere myself. How on earth could I do so !?
I'm so systematic about most of the things - certain unimportant stuff as well - that my friends joke that I will have specific instructions and guidelines for my guy even in bed :P
Add to it I'm so short tempered and my mood swings are so volatile ..that I might just throw him out of the bed if he doesn't comply with :D
My stomach is still hurting.
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Our theme for the party was Disco 82.
The most interesting part of the party was the Mr & Miss freshers round.
round 1 : Introduce yourself and exaggerate.
Almost everyone did well.
Round 2 : Role play.
> Monjolika act with Sunny deol :D
> Dolly Brinda fighting with Nana Patekar
> Proposing in 70/80s style with the girl rejecting.
> Daya ( from Tarak Mehta ) & ACP Pradyuman conversation.
> Dharmendra suicide scene from Sholay in Rajnikant style , while Basanti as Pooja Mishra ( spare me !! :D )
Super amazing juniors. Each of them rocked the roleplaying session.
And the third round was the usual questions & answer round.
One guy was asked what would he first look in a girl ?
Now now now..thats a controversial question. No guy is going to answer that straight face in all honesty. He said eye and sandals. :P
Another guy was asked what superpower he'd like to have.
He said 'scanner' if am not wrong.
Suddenly all creativity seemed to have swiped away in the third round. :|
I head-banged crazy on powerful tracks. I was aware of the disapproving glares and little bitching sessions...but who gives a damn ?! Nothing comes between me and dance :D
Also I think the best part is the superawesome gang of friends I have. I can be myself 200% :P
I danced like a maniac ( need not be mentioned )..as if I were drunk And it was fun.
Its always fun to be crazy ;)
Friday, August 17, 2012
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
And then who knows
So considerate about being non considerate
maybe there were no questions raised
two sides of a coin
conflicting opinions ; they will never conjoin
picking a side is a fickle choice
the heart doesn't know of the veritable voice
And then who knows
Thursday, July 26, 2012
But a big heart. Which is to say they are still very HUMAN.
And there's something about superhero movies.
No filmmaker has the heart to kill them.
So the legend ends. The terrific legend ends but our hero doesn't die.
We connect with movies at such uber level ( specially fantasy / sci-fi ) that we feel like we're losing someone when we know our favorite superhero isn't immortal.
Powerful meaningful dialogues in The Dark Knight rises.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Obsessed with this song.
Love the lyrics.
You shout it out,
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying muchI
'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up
I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium
Cut me down
But it's you who'd have further to fall
Ghost town and haunted love
Raise your voice, sticks and stones may break my bones
I'm talking loud not saying much
Saturday, July 7, 2012
How pictures never change
but people in them do.
How forever turns into a few short months
that you'd do almost anything to get back..
How you can let go certain things you once said
you cannot live without..
How even though you know something is best for you
it hurts just the same..
How the smell of some person stays with you forever
even when they are gone!
-- I didn't write this. A friend forwarded the above message. Most of the people I forwarded it to asked me if I wrote it. It was amusing the kind of response I got.
Z : what happened to you ? we are not made like this! Oh God..the college should resume asap! Nams is getting spoiled ;)
RS : Keep smiling. Whatever it is that is making you upset..just forget it.Pleaseee :)
K : class! You wrote ?!
I said I wish I did.
He said in that case you'd have to fall in love and then have a breakup :P
VB : Kya baat hai! Touched my heart! :)
SK : 100% You're in Looooove :P :P
Whoa! I myself found the message to strike a chord. Specially the last part of it.
But but..I did not write it :D
And let me admit..I've been quite a sucker for these sentimental messages and quotes. The ones that tug your heartstrings you know!
When Z and K nudged me a little to carry on the conversation about relationships - I just had one thing to say. I find it exhausting.
I find it exhausting to fall in love.
To get to know someone. Understand them. Start caring for them. Expect them to understand you back. Think they like you.Fall for them ( misjudge ). All that permutation and combination.
For me - having a crush these days in itself is equivalent to having some eye candies around! Full stop.
I feel like I have no heart left.
Nothing affects me.And I'm Ok with it.
We all have our share of disappointments and broken trusts.
The good thing is I'm not crying over it.Or atleast I'm done hurting.
I realized that the whole point is not to keep too many expectations regardless of who the other person is! That way you cut out all the extra emotional attachment.
Not like you shouldn't enjoy the friendship. Just cut out all that stupid crap.
* Working out madly. Eating healthy food. And focusing only on ME.
Everybody else has taken a backseat.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
The amazing spiderman was highly unamazing!
Storyline sucked. I mean the previous three movies were very good in all departments - story , dialogues , emotions ..everything.
Half the movie is like a re-make of the first part and yet doesn't stand anywhere close to it.
The only saving grace for this movie is that the actor replaced to play spideyman ( I like to say that )is kinda cute.
Humor is good..subtly underplayed as usual.
yet bottom line : DISAPPOINTING!
And yeah I think they changed the costume designer as well :P
Could see some difference in the spiderman suit - material wise :P
Thursday, June 28, 2012
How about with free food , free dj party , free accommodation and a bunch of funny crazy people ?!
Add to it - the venue being GOA!
I don't have the right words..I have no words infact to write about the most awesome wedding I've been to. Maybe I'm not very sure how I feel about the whole thing. Its weird that I don't feel weird.
( About being back home after having an amazing time and not crying over for missing everything*)
This time in points -
- Made new friends. Absolutely fantastic people!
- Danced ( ofcourse) thrice! : Sufi night. Sangeet night and pool party
- Sangeet or DJ night was 'Desi Sunburn' as brat put it. Have never danced so much with live singers. 3 Indian Idol finalist. They sang amazing and the tracks they choose made us all unstopabble. Every time we'd think this is so tiring and now must get off the stage..another kickass track would be played! Freaking awesome.
- Pool party in a madu wedding is very modern I must say. Lol ..quite questionable. But it was again so much fun! They arranged for rain dance as well. Sexy!
- The bride was my cousin.Someone I was very close to. But then things change no ? There's still something special about old friendships. All it needs is unison.And I have no opinions what so ever. Just enjoyed being there. It was her wedding afterall !!
- The last night of the 3 day wedding..we stayed awake the whole freaking night! Hukah and daru party. One of her friends got so high..she danced alone for an hour. Lol but she is definitely the best dancer I've seen. Totally enjoying to the core and god knows where on earth does she come up with so many different steps!
- I was the only person who did not cry during vidaaai. I didn't cry even on bubble's wedding. I still don't know why. I mean the whole thing is freaking sentimental plus there was background music to it with dhol and vidaai song. It still didn't hit me. All her friends were sobbing. I was blank.
- All of us cousins are very cool. And by cool I mean shameless. There's no limit set to cracking non veg jokes. And then since there were also her 'friends' ..there was absolutely no limit. With all the flirting and link ups there were added double meaning comments. Holy shit! Cheesy allright. But funny at the same time.Ridiculous I'd rather say.
- Before the wedding we all indulged in rigorous dance practice for sangeet. That was another 3 days of full on masti! With hukah sessions every now and then ;)
- Everybody vouches on Brat's chammak challo steps ! :D
- K played my cousin and she is a damn good dancer herself. G as usual was the lead guy.I was the side dancer. I don't like that. lol but I held onto my grumblings. *pats self*
- Food : 5-star hotels have their own receipes. You generally don't end up liking the usual dishes. But for the continental specially mexican and thai food - it was deliciously delectable along with dulcet desserts!
- To sum up it was one hell of a heavenly week! :D Mind blowing fun! Too many memories and jokes to rest upon.
This time it was different. Strange. I didn't get the jitters. I was hardly over -conscious of the fact that I was leaving and that its probably going to be another year before I see everyone.
That odd sick moment hit me only for a second when brat left a night before we all departed. And thats that.
I surprised myself. How much can I empty myself out , afterall ? :)
I've spent a very very good time that I'll always cherish. I have my own grudges for certain things. But it allright. Its like a peck of dust I'm flicking away. Doesn't stand anywhere against the glitterati.
Btw how could I not mention some of our own 'phrases'
Two of my cousins - Ak and Brat have this habit of saying 'Ya dude' all the time. The 'ya' is pronounced with a jolt. lol
And then Ok is Oooooookaaayyy.
We tease brat - ' wtf man wtf!' He uses the F word like an article.
Ak cracks the most silliest jokes ever. Whatever it may be..the fact is everybody giggles. So I guess it works. :D
I'm the usual photographer. I make sure I click as much I can. But this time with three SLRs there wasn't much scope left for me :D
I'm waiting for the pictures!
Its killing to be dependent man!
'Man' another word used like a phrase. lol :)
I'd been to bengaluru as well. Superb weather!
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
It always nice to have a perspective you mistakenly or maybe in your sub conscious mind deliberately ignored to look upon.
Its easier when you can laugh about all the things that otherwise give you hell in solitude.
Its funny how something so serious now seems so stupid -- you wonder why didn't you attempt taking down that messy noodles out of the bowl and slurp it like a kid.
And you no more bother about how the leftover sauce could make you look like a joker.
A complete fool.
It can be wiped off :)
The heat is gone.
The thoughts lie cold now.
For the nth time maybe..I might be making an effort to write off..and as I completely assure everytime that its done..we all know there's still something left out.
I need a doze once a while to tweak the remaining shards.
More than that - I need people like you to be around.
Wherein I don't have to explain the complexity in desirable & understandable state.
You would translate my alien emotions precisely to know what I want to express.
Saves time ;) :P
Merci beaucoup mon ami :)
( use google now :P You certainly don't know French! :D )
Saturday, June 9, 2012
What do you think about ffb ? friends for benefits?
( although I knew what that means I thought he cannot be talking THAT. Nope)
I guess its alright..time pass relation ?
( An outcome of heartbreak trying to mend by filling in some space , I thought to myself.
Not a bad idea - leaning over to another shoulder for a while to balance it out for you )
As long as it doesn't hurt..its Ok.
No strings attached. I have no feelings for her.
And what about her ?
She has some feelings I guess.
Ok then I will just say..do NOT deceive.
I told her there's no future to this.
It just happened in a flash.
You do know what I'm talking about right?
( I was a bit taken back.
You mean physical relation ??
Yeah. So what else is ffb then ?
No ..No..yes..I mean I knew what it is..I thought you were saying generally you know..
Nah. Physical relation.
So whats the level ?
Hugged kissed ? or beyond that.
( I asked like he was in kindergarten of physical relations. )
Do we now have to talk bout the details?
No I don't want any details. I'm asking the level..only then will can I give my valuable inputs.
Lol obviously more than that!! Why would it be an issue then ?
So you want to stop it ?
Don;t know if I really want to stop.
Yah another issue. All wrong things are tempting.
Is that 'wrong?' With the consent of both ?
Ok I won't give the right and wrong crap. I don't think thats a fair way to put it.
Whats unfair is..hurting someone..
Using someone..thats ffb! But if she KNOWS and she's ok with it..
Even she is OK with it.
Then no issue. But you know what ? one of you will eventually get hurt.
It is impossible not to have feelings when you get physically involved.
I know. She would be.
Then she doesn't regard it as ffb for sure.
Its difficult for girls. They are in illusion that they are doing it because they like the guy a lot..and also in the illusion of being liked back which is worse coz that ain't true.
So be clear. Don;t mislead.
She already knows that its going to head nowhere.
Draw a line.
Easier said. You will be creating new lines every time and cross them over too!
So what exactly do you want now?
Everything is ok. Won;t mind hanging around with it for some time.
Just wanted your inputs.
My inputs : Draw the line ofcourse.
Enjoy while it lasts :D
And yeah..try being friends too..atleast for the person who has feelings for you.
Nobody will be in guilt trap that way.
You analyzed the whole thing perfectly.
If I have to..I will the end the whole thing on a happy note.
You know long back ...I would tag 'kissing' as unethical too.
But then I thought..one time or ten times..same difference :D haha
Lol. Line of the day! One time or ten times...
The girl is the one I always wanted to get physical with.
Mission accomplished ! :D
Whoa! Kaun hai ?
Naam mein kya rakha hai...
( Thats my usual dialogue! grrr!)
Bhawnao ko samjh
( I was wanting to add...there is no 'bhawna/feelings' here. But I let it be.:P)
There should be a secret element amongst secrets too ;)
Btw... I somehow understand why they would want all to get married earlier.
The hormones are at such peak.Lol
So thats ffb then. No feelings - from atleast one side.
I don;t get it how someone can be only lusting? Even if one doesn;t have feelings initially..they are bound to develop later on.I'm not judging the guy above.But I still find it indigestible.
maybe thats the way all males are - genetically.
They can do away with the most amazing moments emotionless. Raw.
Or maybe I'm in a bunch of overloaded emotions. :D
Line of the day : Kissing. One time or ten times. Same difference.
The line is crossed. Doesn't matter if you go back and cross over again n again... :p
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
I'll be taking about God(s). And my thoughts mostly emerged in the last 2 days which were consumed in reading The Immortals of Meluha.
First about the book - a blend of fiction , Indian mythology as well as archeology.
Telling a story about Lord Shiva with a different approach. A snazzy story altogether keeping same characters as we've heard about - while also maintaining the structure of Indian mythology.
Of the Good vs Evil.
Shiva has been depicted as any other human with few extra qualities which the author didn't find necessary to explain & it does not sketch the character as being prominently good unlike otherwise how one might expect.
I'm kind of happy to read it. Because I don't remember reading anything close to Indian mythology and specially about Lord Shiva - in English , in a fictional novel.
An Indian shall easily connect with the places mentioned, the significance of characters , the use of sanskrit words and symbols.
The language used & frame of plots is decipherable. Not too many flowery words and yet having a good flow and keeping up your interest till the end. However the end forms the turning point to pick up the next one of the trilogy - The Secret of Nagas.
I'm in awe of Lord Shiva - not particularly because of what the novels tells about him but mostly due to what our mythology speaks of him.
And it actually dawned upon me to pray to him.
I kept wondering why I never prayed to one of the Gods who they say is most easy to impress.
But even before that - I pondered why I never really pray properly. I would usually recite the sanskrit verses we learnt in childhood and though I know their meaning very well - I don't think I meant anything in that prayer. I would be simply reciting.
Sitting in front of the idol with my eyes closed thinking about my problems as if I were giving him an audio video record of my life while also expecting him to solve it all. And to give a background effect to the prayers , reciting the sanskirt shoklas which hover around the meaning that lord you are father , mother, friend and a teacher.
I questioned myself - How do I expect to be answered for the prayers that aren't really prayers ?
Yes I do beg or entreat or appeal to Him at times - yes , to be specific - when I'm in trouble. But PRAY ? Do we really pray ??
A lot of people complaint that their prayers are never answered.
Maybe they should check whether they have ever TRULY prayed.
I don't complaint in this regard because I know I've rarely truly devoted myself.
I would just act like a stupid kid and even skip my not so useful monologue of so-called-prayers to tell him that I'm pretty mad with him.
And I think I will get along with whatever the universe throws at me.
But thats not how it works. In my sinking weakning moments - I finally have no choice but to resort to him. Shamelessly expecting him to escort me through troubled waters.
I surrender to him.
Dad always says you need not go to temples - you should just truly call upon him with ALL your heart. When prayers come from heart - he takes care of you , more than that of what you can imagine.
So maybe thats the whole point. Its not about chanting some mantras - the meaning of which you do not know or about visiting temples. Its about 'praying' true to the word - with all your heart. Maybe thats when your prayers will reach and only then is there is a possibility of your requests being fulfilled.
I do not question my belief and faith in God. I also do not question not having belief in him. This is probabaly the only thing on earth and in my life about which I've never been in a dilemma. I have no issues what others say , who others pray to. I don't pray or remember him for getting my demands pampered. I do pray to get my problems fixed. But whenever I do ( ofcourse during crisis ) - I instill so much faith that I don't need to expect anything. I'm not on a waiting line to check when my appeals are responded to.
It just happens when it has to.
So all this brainstorming I did in past 2 days concludes that : we were taught that we SHOULD pray. However nobody teaches HOW to pray. Thats the trick. Secret to all the questionable beliefs.
I now pray with all my heart..with all my energy ...without ANY other damned thing on my mind.
And I'm proud of that.
Because I know I will be taken care of.
Har har Mahadev!