Restless Soul

• I'd been restless because of as you know of the last post.Everything's OK now!Few days back , Dad bought me Philips DVD player with a 16:9 screen.I don't like it at all.It doesn't store movies.Its doesn't have a USB port!! I had longed for a creative zen but didn't have the courage to ask him to get me one..& now I regert because it would have been anytime better if he'd have got me the Zen which btw is the sexiest gadget till date.I'm ready to trade my dvd player > get back the cash > put in some more > buy the zen!! I'm restless because the player is such a waste of money! My stomach churns :(
• I have to actually 'work hard' for fucking bcom exams which are good for nothing.The fact that few people I know , put in just 1/10th effort in studying compared to me & yet score 2 times better than what I do - kills me! How can my soul , mind , energy , brain cells be in place ? The restlessness moves like a current in my body.I do get frustrated thinking that my actual hard work won't bring fruitful results.Its my FEAR > Restlessness at its peak!
• Never never never ever listen to songs 4 times a day ( same songs that too ) during exams.I've been humming songs & the music between the lyrics like crazy.I eat ♪ kya hua tera wada ♪--- I try to sleep ♪You're my angel ♪ ---- I begin to study ♪Love mera hit hit♪ ---- I try to recollect some formula ♪Viva la Vida's opening instrumental music♪ awfully random songs ! Love mera hit hit ?? I don't actually listen to it.I play it to dance.Again something I do to deviate myself.Its getting highly irksome so much so that I've started to hate listening to music.HATE ? Isn't it AwwFool ? I love Kya hua Tera Wada ..one of those old songs I can actually listen a dozen times.
• I skipped ♪music exam this year.There are no punishments.So life is adding extra pounds of taking-things-for-granted along with the fallacy : time-is-all-I-have.I'm restless of living in certain myths.Restless of ignoring the greatest tools available to be able to transform myself into a great personality.Restless of jacketing myself with backlog. Music has taken a back -seat & there's an important confession to make here - I'm not enjoying it any more.The angel in me thinks its a very sad state of affairs. The devil believes I do not need to learn things only to give exams & earn certificates.When both of these do not speak , my passion & my honest-self says " Keep it going ..keep learning..but only what you LOVE because you confused soul..you want to do it for yourself!" I've decided to discontinue learning ♪ Rags & classical music required to give exams.I want to learn to sing , get some basics strong & learn those ♪ Rags which I find a lot of joy in playing.
• I'm prolly going to flunk in accounts.Its a shame I know.And I have a set of excuses too but those do not justify at all. That's all I have to say!
• Its burning hot here. 47.3°C since last 4-5 days .I have a headache almost every day.Headaches would make anybody restless !
• Haven't had pizza for a month.Chocolate cake...2 months!! coldcoffee ? AGES! Ok bye now..before this post gets deleted by itself ..like it was published only with the title. lol ..been pressing wrong keys.