Monday, October 18, 2010

Lemme blurt out.Honest Honest.

I lost my cell during navratri. Panic attacks for about half an hour & then some fellow who found it , returned it to me.It was almost 2 in the morning. 3 missed calls from mom. And my heart fluttered again :O  I had to gear up  for some major scoldings. Thankfully I didn't have to deal with it.

However , more than being thankful to that man who found my cell..I wanted to swear at him - for not responding to the calls I made. He picked up the phone some 10 times but never said a single word.That freaked me out real bad. I loose my mind when I panic. I just can't 'think'. I can't make a decision.My friend insisted me a couple of times to go to the stage & make an announcement but I wasn't willing to do that.
I was just waiting for my cell to walk back to me.

 Dancing while carrying your cell/purse is no fun.Its been an unexciting raas garba this time.I'm just not hyper. Maybe too indifferent for anything.


 For more than one reason..I feel like my life is a big joke played upon me.Or the way it has been crafted. All those great words of wisdom about not regretting things & letting them go do not really apply - in the long run.
I could trade all my gadgets ( my highest possession till date) for  a chance to go 5 yrs back in my life & change the entire course of my life. Its never too late , I know. But 5 yrs is a big time & it will take a lot to compensate for the lost time.

There are several things scattered at the back of my mind.Its difficult to piece them together & make sense.Its easier not to ponder over such things. But until when ?? Time is flying & I haven't moved an inch.

I really hate it when someone starts preaching me. Thanks for all the concern but mind your own business! Advices given when never asked for are not required at all! Help all you want..just DON'T PREACH!

Umm I'm almost at the same stage I was in last year. Not much has changed. Only that..I'm not severely upset.But then I'm not euphoric either. Screw it. Who cares.

I like being indifferent.All this time I was trying not to be too emo.It never worked. And then I learned to be indifferent - and voila! It works :)


  1. 30 exhilarating minutes in search of your cell has bought such a drastic change in your thinking. Now, I am not preaching. And when when something like this happens we start getting the odds in us. And we get angry, damn too angry.

    Anyways, this is a stupid comment. Don't consider it.

    And it is good to hear that being "UNDIFFERENT" helps you.

    Take care.
    ~ Ajay Kontham.

  2. Last lines r tough for me.
    mayb just coz m tryin to gulp all ur posts in one shot but its really tough fr me.
    But as always i enjoyed the posts.

  3. losing a cell is the worst that can happen to is an imp part of our persona..its actually a body part..i understood it wen i had to stay without my cell for two days wen it had gone to the repair shops..awful feeling..
    try checking out my blog and commenting on the following u so i hope that someday u'll return the favour!!

  4. I know what it means to lose ur cell. I have already lost it once. :( Anyways dont wanna remember that. no advice here since u have been so vocal abt not needing any. Take care and stay safe.

  5. Lol nice post :)
    so true! I hate people who preach. i just like being happy at that moment and even if i regret something i dont really mind it later. but i hate the people who keep telling me where i went wrong.

  6. I agree... Life is a big joke! But the thing is.. its a joke cause we cant see beyond our nose. I've been fucked from every possible position imaginable ever since I graduated... and only now, years later am I beginning to see that there actually was a sense of order governing that seeming chaos that was my life!!

    lol.. Papa dont preach syndrome eh? I dont think anyone likes being lectured to. Though I thot I shud share some wise words from Charlie Chaplin.. "Despair is a narcotic. It lulls the mind into indifference."

    I wonder what he meant....

  7. I can imagine the panic you would have faced on losing your cell phone and the irritation with the guy who wouldn't say a word everytime you called. Thank god, you got the cell back without any hassles.


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