I want to be deaf for a while.

There are days like these when everything seems so screwed up from a distance and worse even after a closer look.

All this after yelling your lungs out trying to keep a class of 15 kids silent & make them listen to you!

Eating a hot cheese toast.
Soft drink.
Ride back home.
Cuppa tea.Not my cup of tea - I don't like ginger tea! :O

Then what all with the Diwali cleaning.Lot of noise. Lot of clutter.

Can't the world go silent for a while ?

I need a pause.

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee,
And I'll forgive Thy great big one on me.
~Robert Frost, "Cluster of Faith,"

Slap a twilight fan :D

Facebook :  Lots of folks are celebrating an event 'Slap a twilight fan day'
lol :D

Its quite interesting to note the number of twilight haters! In fact most of them are guys.

I finally finished reading the whole series with Breaking Dawn being the last part.
Its the longest novel I've read till date ( around 800 pages )
I'm not much of a fan and then I don't abhor it either. Reading the twilight series was fun and occasionally irksome too...which is why I never read the entire series in one go.I read the four parts over a span of an year :P

I love the writing style of the author. The flow is contagious.

And that's all for now... some book-bashing later.

Through Pictures :)

I have been going through my pictures clicked in last 5 years. It embarrasses , makes me smile , laugh , upsets or just makes my day! Thanks to pictures..its easier to understand how much I have changed & improved. Although I look different in many of the pictures due to the angles at which they were taken - I'm happy to see my recent avatar :D I do not frown over my pictures as much as I used to.
I may not LIKE all of my pictures..some come out real weird..but it helps in detecting where I've gone wrong - what with my hairstyle or what I've worn!

Pictures provide a great platform to keep a check on hairstyles! And I've styled experimented with my hair differently in last 2-3 years. The fact is I started ironing my hair after I saw how a bad hairdo made me look entirely bad :|
Then I cut my hair short last year without knowing HOW short I had cut them! But even then my look was decent enough.It turned out to be a really good haircut.And just a couple of months back..I cut my hair even shorter!! which is one big mistake I have made. Because not just short..my hair was cut a little oddly ..making 'me' look entirely different when I keep them untied! Huh  I miss my previous haircut.I wonder how I'd ever explain any hairdresser to cut it that way again.

As goes my dressing sense..definite improvement!! My Indian wear collection to date is by far the best I've had.[ with sundry compliments :D ]  casual wear - needs to be shaken upside down.
I feel sick when I see my old snaps. Like how and why did I even wear THAT ? But then..I had nobody to sort that out for me. And even today..I do not have an expert help! So its through pics that I'm trying to decipher what really suits me. An outfit may be good individually but it may not necessarily look good on me.I've always worn loose comfortable clothes. I can still learn to wear stylish clothes without looking like a joker :P

Its easy to certify your look staring into the mirror , however , it may not just be the right thing.
So thank you camera! And thank you snaps! And the shutterbugs who clicked them!

Did I mention I'm not that obsessed with looks nowadays ?? I guess its partly because of the comparison I've been doing between my old & new clicks.

Two things I know for sure now -
I should get  hair smoothening done! It'll save a lot of my time and energy :D
I must must must hit the gym again.

 

Snaps : Two of my favorites clicked 2 years back.

Lemme blurt out.Honest Honest.

I lost my cell during navratri. Panic attacks for about half an hour & then some fellow who found it , returned it to me.It was almost 2 in the morning. 3 missed calls from mom. And my heart fluttered again :O  I had to gear up  for some major scoldings. Thankfully I didn't have to deal with it.

However , more than being thankful to that man who found my cell..I wanted to swear at him - for not responding to the calls I made. He picked up the phone some 10 times but never said a single word.That freaked me out real bad. I loose my mind when I panic. I just can't 'think'. I can't make a decision.My friend insisted me a couple of times to go to the stage & make an announcement but I wasn't willing to do that.
I was just waiting for my cell to walk back to me.

 Dancing while carrying your cell/purse is no fun.Its been an unexciting raas garba this time.I'm just not hyper. Maybe too indifferent for anything.

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 For more than one reason..I feel like my life is a big joke played upon me.Or the way it has been crafted. All those great words of wisdom about not regretting things & letting them go do not really apply - in the long run.
I could trade all my gadgets ( my highest possession till date) for  a chance to go 5 yrs back in my life & change the entire course of my life. Its never too late , I know. But 5 yrs is a big time & it will take a lot to compensate for the lost time.

There are several things scattered at the back of my mind.Its difficult to piece them together & make sense.Its easier not to ponder over such things. But until when ?? Time is flying & I haven't moved an inch.

I really hate it when someone starts preaching me. Thanks for all the concern but mind your own business! Advices given when never asked for are not required at all! Help all you want..just DON'T PREACH!

Umm I'm almost at the same stage I was in last year. Not much has changed. Only that..I'm not severely upset.But then I'm not euphoric either. Screw it. Who cares.

I like being indifferent.All this time I was trying not to be too emo.It never worked. And then I learned to be indifferent - and voila! It works :)

A Gathering Light.

Another book to hit as my favorite - A Gathering Light. ( Jennifer Donnelly)

 I won't review it because I just can't do enough justice! The way I explained it to one of my friends - she wouldn't read it EVER.So I'd better save others :D

However ...I'd say its the BEST I've read in recent times. The kind of novel that  feels so real..so close to you , that you start living with the characters. For their sorrow , happiness et al.

Mattie Gokey , a girl in her early teens finds the huge responsibility of taking care of her younger siblings as a promise she'd made to her dying mother.
At the cost of her dreams. To become a writer.
A drunk non-supportive father , lesser money & too many mouths to feed only adds to her woes.And then all it comes down to is her ambitions. It keeps flipping between the two until she makes her decision.
Its about choices , friendships , responsibility , family , love  , passion & the big question - What you want for yourself ?  And whether you've made the right decision ?
Anybody whose family's proving to be a huge obstruction in achieving his/her dreams will relate A LOT with the protagonist. I loved the way she found her answer which is a parallel story linking hers.  A girl named Grace Brown dies under mysterious circumstances in a lake near a hotel where Mattie works.And a day before her death - Grace gives her letters to Mattie requesting her to burn them.But Mattie keeps them & figures that Grace has been killed. Through her letters  Mattie connects & finds inspiration which helps her way out.

You can so find a part of yourself in her.Almost everyone goes through choice making.Its tough. And it all comes down to YOU. Good or bad.Fears.Love.Family. Lastly - The final call.

The writing style is different & refreshing - going in flashbacks & present - to cross at a point.I also liked how the 'chapters' or parts have been distinguished ..not with another subtitle but 'word of the day' which Mattie learns & eventually finds something in her life to give her the best example for usage of that word.
The murder is based on a true story.The author was touched by the letters & wanted something good to happen out of them.Which is why it has been linked to Mattie's story.
 All in all - A gathering light makes for a delightful read.Its as if the book title speaks for itself :)
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I can now draw a common element between three of my fav novels.
To kill a mockingbird.
The Kite runner.
A Gathering Light.

All three novels have a kid/teenager telling their story in their words.Learning the world around them as they are growing. Going through the bitterness of life. And their stories not necessarily ending with a happily ever-after...but with lots of hope , smile & wisdom.

The way real life is.

old bubble bursts : random.

I don't know what I'm looking for  - yet  I'm searching IT endlessly.

> And making others search too which is freaking them out.

The day you give up expectations - is the day  you get results for your ex-expectation.

> Back to square one : expectations!!

There's a high probability of causing damage to things that you are obsessive & possessive about.

> I have no idea if it applies to relationships too.
In the best of my relations..I never felt the need to be over obsessive.
And that's how those have remained the 'best'.
The more you fear for your things..the more the chances of losing them.

Riding on a pillion is always scary.

> I might ride my two wheeler crazily , hit a cyclist or break signals.
But if I'm the pillion - I will screech even if a prospective-hit-victim is 10 m away.

Credits are not overrated. 

> If you've done something  good & significant - you've gotta get recognized , thanked & appreciated.

The worst feeling on earth is to not feel great about yourself.

> Terrible.

The best - is to feel simply superb about yourself.

> And it won't happen just like that.