Idiot is Boxed.

For the next two years I might only curse myself when I look into the mirror and question what the F have I done to my life.
But this time I cannot blame anyone except -  myself.
( Somehow passing on the blame had become so convenient , I forgot what a scapegoat I'd become.)
So am gonna have to adjust to that.
I'm gonna have to adjust to the fact , and drink the regret/guilt that this could have been a prettier picture.

For an year I fought with my mind's innumerable voices..my indecision nucleus...and now when I'm concluding it - it feels so stupid I'd rather eat up the year gone by.

Its not so much about the time wasted or given...its about the final product.
What I did with it in the end.
And its killing.

I weighed my options so much and so many times that I killed every instinct and intuition there was to my passion.
It all just rotted while the time flew by.

But I guess its good enough that at least I'm gonna start doing something . I'm scared how it will turn out to be. I'm scared I'm not following what I wanted to. I'm scared that I'm jumping into a race.I'm scared I'm not going to a good college.

BUT

I'm just gonna go do it.

Because I'm an IDIOT.

An idiot who has vague plans to follow or do something about her big dream after 2 yrs!!

I'm mad with myself. Very very mad.

And I don't know what to do of my cousins.
They're supporting me like I just got myself into Harvard :P
How stupidly funny every damn thing is! :D

Phases || Drown OR Emerge || Value OR Blame.

Moving on.

Worst & toughest.

But the best part is

having

Moved on.

Without bitterness.
Without any explanations and expectations.
And most importantly...without having to deal with the feelings coming back every now & then.
But that's a phase too. Apparently tougher to pass through.


And after having crossed that , we reach a

junction 

where

Brews a friendship that is past all the disliking. All the issues and complaints.

And its so amazing , you realize maybe it was all worth it.

It was worth to have gone through all of it.And its definitely worth to reach this point.

 Taking time off helps. Occasional full stops help.
However knowing the difference helps the most.

The full-stop -
is
not 
the
end
of the
story.

Its
the end
of
one part.
Of one phase.

Just emerge
value
And
Commemorate
- while it lasts :P

Not necessarily so good.

Delhi Belly :

Its GROSS!
I don't have issues with slangs & swearing ; nor for any of the 'adult' scenes but enough of toilet jokes man! It doesn't make me laugh! Its just too pathetic to laugh at.
The 'yuck'ness this movie is filled with is appalling. Among other things . . . quite explicit for an Indian movie.
I won't say its bad. But its so gross you can't call it good!
If you've been reading reviews - you must think its hilarious.
No. Its ridiculous. And if you have a cheap sense of humor - may be you'd like it.( I think most guys wld like it :P )
Its funny too though. Some laughs definitely guaranteed.
Warning : Obviously nobody watches movies with family members nowadays but this one in particular is a STRICT NO.

Transformers :

2.5 hrs for a English movie is a little too much.For an action movie far too much. For an action movie in 3-D far far too much :P
I know people have loved it. But while watching the movie I suddenly had deja vu :  Terminator , Avatar etc etc. We've seen so much of 'destroying the planet' kind of action , so much of gunshots , aliens , machines and all that - there comes a saturation point.
There are a couple of really amazing scenes.And that's all. Doesn't find my liking.

Invisible stupidity

One feels small & a little unfortunate for getting trapped in mediocre thinking. For being a victim of society - mainly the 'issues' with society and everything else I only like to describe as 'blah blah blah'.

I mean Fuck it goddammit! The problem isn't who cares or who doesn't nor is it when someone makes a fuss...the problem is why can't we live a sensible lifestyle. Mentally. And culturally too for that matter.

I feel most of the religious sentiments & cultural protocols came into being due to our ancestor's own insecurities. Why it is to be carried & tortured over generations is out of my logic.
And I wonder why nobody breaks it.

Don;t you think its too much rubbish that hovers over our thinking and entire lifetime planning ? It could all be pretty simple. Love & live. With nobody predominately deciding what & whom to love ; nor how to live.

Being caged in ridiculous cultural obligations despite having a comfortable life is the most unfortunate thing. And you would know it only when you were made to go through it.

We are so backward about being forward.

I'm just a lil less than mad.

I maybe vulnerable

but

I haven't lost my mind.


Some things just don't feel good no matter how great they seem.


P.S : Since you don't GET IT -  Screw you !

Apple Analogy

Human beings should also have been a product of Apple. That way no matter what amount of crap you try downloading in your life , it'll never enter your system. And what cannot enter your life..can never harm you either.

We are more like Windows. Too much problem in the software. Truckloads of virus. And all we do is keep installing anti-virus which too isn't very  reliable. You never know when the system would crash. 

There's only one thing we don't do. Formatting. Erase ALL the bullshit along with the pretty pictures & start afresh.Clean slate.
We wouldn't need it either if only we were Apple made :P

And there's more plus to Apple. The products look dazzling :D
All of them :P :D

Ok I know its a stupid analogy..so at least don't counter it with gender issues ! lol :D

June fiasco.

I can't pass a day without :
Brisk walking.
I feel terrible for my body if I miss working out even one single day.

My sin this month :
Scratched Micra.I was probably imagining  that the car would easily squeeze itself to pass through a small lane with two cars on either sides , lol
I scratched it from both the sides on two such similar imaginations :((
I feel so so so bad but I don't exactly know how to compensate for it.
Its like..until the time I wasn't working out - I wouldn't shop. And just a few days back I decided I'm gonna go on a wild shopping spree.( Since I've been religiously exercising ) But looks like a colorful wardrobe is in danger for now.
Not shopping is my way of penance.

My new priced possession :
My sexy fossil watch. I LOVE it.

Gadget update :
Its sad & funny. My cell phone met with so many accidents , it fractured all its limbs. It was hospitalized & it is recovering for now. But you know about hospital bills , yeah ?!
Plus right now I so badly want a new digi cam - BUT obviously I'm not gonna get one.Not with my poor record.

Turn off of the month :
Wasting printing paper. I hate it when something unnecessary is printed or there is a slight error in every one of those 50 pages that you print - which then you need to re-print.

What I missed :
Kung Fu Panda 3-D. Like crap?! Why did I have to choose X-men over it?!