Obsessions!

My obsession with date & time is ludicrous.

There isn't a single page in any of my 'notebooks' where you won't find the date written.
Before I begin to write anything - the first thing I do is to scribble the date.
I'm used to this for more than FIVE years.
Right from my physics , chemistry notes (  I still have all the notes 'preserved'*! )  to accounts , taxation etc - every single page has the damned date.

Its one of those things my friends have found to add as a little sidekick joke.
In past few days , specially during internals when I used to roughly jot down points - someone or the other would taunt me to write the date. They compel me if I ignore their remark as if I were breaking a 'tradition' and I give in because its certainly one :D

 TIME
What do I say about this ? I'm a punctuality freak ; hands down.
Case 1 : If I were to reach college  just '2 mins' behind the schedule  - I FREAK out.
Cannot tolerate that even when its totally harmless.
I guess my ego works more in this case. "How on earth can I be late ?"  
( even if I have nobody to report to :P )
I feel like I'm losing a game if I reach late. THAT  obsessive.

While driving my head functions in 3 core areas - one is to drive safe , second : any other random thing going in my mind and three - what is the time and how much more will it take for me to reach.

Case 2 : There's another time calculation I'm obsessed with. While opting for different routes I keep comparing which one makes me reach faster. Whereas the fact remains that no matter what route I choose - it would take around the same time , a min or two here and there.
A min or two ?? I can't help convincing myself later as to how  overcoming that 'a min or two' is significant enough and therefore the 'other' route makes more sense! :D

Case 3 : This one's really the heights of all. In casual talks..we say - I'll be there in 5 or 15 or 10 or whatever. I usually  give a different series of no. - In 3 mins , 7 mins...etc and that is to say PRECISELY.
I mentioned already , my obsession is ludicrous!!

And the problem with such kind of not -so- serious stupid obsessions  is that if you do not comply with it..it keeps nagging in your head.


* Notes : This is out of habit. I have all my notebooks & textbooks of Sanskrit ( 5th to 10th grade ) , history & English textbooks from school , and most of my 'education' material preserved. I cannot do away with what I have always loved to read & study.
And for the other half that gave me nightmare - chem , physics which are not even going to serve any purpose ever again are kept for namesake.I don't like throwing  away my books and notes or passing them.

This is not 'news'. Its crime!

Rape cases are always mentioned in print on the front page.What happens of the victim and the culprit later is seldom known. In last 3 days there have been 3 reports of rape in the city making the headlines in the newspaper.What I read today made my rage grow exponentially.
A father raping her own daughter since last 5 yrs after the girl's mother left them. The issue came to light when the girl turned to her  neighbors after suffering from massive pain. She was pregnant.

Now what does the police have to say ? Did the girl dress provocatively ? Was she outside home after 8 pm ??
Do these stupid questions have anything do with the harassment caused to the woman ?
Why don't we understand that it is the psychology of males that are leading to such disastrous crimes and the woman is not to be blamed for the same!

Why are such heinous crimes not treated with gravity ? The criminals should be castrated! It should be a non bailable crime! And the bastard must be made to suffer a zillion times more than what he did to the woman. Simply jailing the criminal cannot justify the hurt that he has caused to the woman.

Rape is far far more grave and inhuman than killing someone.
Stealing a woman's integrity and leaving her mind paralyzed for lifetime is not a small issue!

What goes in the head of a man wanting to rape ??
Doesn't he have any self respect ? And raping one's own daughter ? What gives!

I don't quite give a damn about other issues in India when  our basic foundations are not clear! Why can't we give our citizens a sense of freedom and security in the country they live ? Is this what democracy is all about ? Yeah you can live here but if the monsters roaming freely in the society do anything to you - please do not come to us.Its absolutely your fault!

Isn't there any way to completely eradicate this crime ?
Unless there are no stringent laws , it will be a difficult affair. Like this girl and many others , most of them do not even report of this filthiness probably out of fear.

How can in  a country like India which runs on a plethora of cultures , morals and ethics such crimes even exist ? Or infact - in any other country ! If not for the sense of humanity , at least for the sake of and in the name of the same moral code and conduct should the men be conditioned to treat women with due respect.

The scientists should be developing medication to dysfunction the area in the brain which shows criminal inclination in men.Why not? Do they not carry all kinds of researches on how your brain reacts on finding potential lover or how listening to songs on earphones can damage your ears or other such things that do not have great significance.
They really should be on it. Coz I don't see the government doing anything , anything at all to curb onto this crime. Why not erase it from the root itself. The filthy mind of a bastard.

No background story.

You drilled a hole in my heart

that still loves you back for no reason at all.

'coz no matter how many pieces my heart is into right now

there's still a part that vouches for you somehow.

'coz no matter how much pain you filled in

the fact that I loved and I always will - would remain

'coz no matter how pointless it may seem , no doubt

even after all the ire and hate tires itself out.

You leave me at such crossroads

goodbyes will not suffice.

I shall only walk away this time

bidding a farewell that wouldn't rhyme.


** A couple of rhyming lines do not make a poem. This ain't a poem.

A major query most of them had was if I had a breakup ?
Well..my query is why do you need a breakup to write 'a couple of dark rhyming lines' ?
Such questions spoil the essence.
This 'piece' is more like 'an elated feeling triggered by a sad stimulus' as put by a friend. :P
In simple words , I wrote coz I felt like writing it.
No background story.Not necessarily :)

Water splashing.

There was a time , say almost an year or two back when I used to dread festivals.
It would only mean being stuck up in home , and doing just  about nothing.
Physically present in a pretense of a happy environment.
 And yet mentally fighting with the loneliness.

Festivals are meant to be 'celebrated' together.

Not when one of your parents prefers watching the TV or say is least interested in forming a little social circle.

When another one of your parents is busy doing the household chores.And is upset to be holding onto the routine even on this day.

So what do you do ? Deck up and sit quietly. Or watch TV.
So much for the chores that you are not good at anyway.

I don't think that's anybody's idea of celebration or festival.

I don't feel you can celebrate alone.

So what's changed now ?

The relations with the extended family.  A little much to  do rather than just watching tv.

I wouldn't pretend I'm happy. But then I'm GLAD to be occupied , on festivals.

Else my heart would shrink the tiniest on knowing I'm the only one not 'celebrating'.

Lets also say..I've conditioned myself to be indifferent.
 I'm so saturated , it hardly matters to me.

I look forward to spend time with cousins. Laugh along..share old stories et al.

But deep deep deep inside my heart , I'm hurting every bit.

Holi was no different. Flower holi like last year :D
Singing bhajans.
And some 15 mins of water splashing.
Thats about it. Something's better than nothing. Thank god for that.
And well , yeah...that's it :)

Driving on highway

I just got wings. So I cannot stop from flying.

Doing crazy stuff. Drove 20 kms in the outskirts of the  city for a college function at night.

It was risky. My first drive on highway at night.
Did not tell at home.

"kamine' friends kept irritating all through the drive :
" yes ,  run over that guy.."
" are 2-3 ko toh aaj uda hi dena.."
" Oyee..mai apni mom ka ek lauta beta hoon..so please aaram se chala"
" Nammm...if you hit the truck , the truck will be pieces..apne ko kuch nahi hoga" :P

So even while my car and we all survived ...( it was quite hyped..I was driving good enough!)
this guy Z starts talking about flesh , blood and dunno what all :O

And he did not accompany us , the girls on our way back. Free food makes him 10 times more hungry :|

Had an amazing Dj party! Danced to my heart's content! :D :D
We never refrain ourselves from doing garba..even if the song played is 'chammak challo'

Seniors choreographed a fashion show on retro theme. Quite commendable.

And there was lavani too which was performed twice.

We too danced on 2 bollywood numbers with 1 hr of practice.
Maybe the saving grace was that we cancelled one of our dance sequence at the end moment on seeing all the other dance performances. :P

College doesn't suck when it arranges such parties :D
How I love to dance !!