Life is no fairytale.

You could ask if I'm disappointed with the promise the words in this title holds? I'd be very honest and conclude yelling that I am freaking scared!!

There's a thin line between being optimistic and day dreaming. And no , I'd never settle for the day dreaming which is why life is so scary. Although ironically people around me are having their fairy-tales. Not normal happiness you know. Literally fairy tales which does make me wonder at the possibilities but WAIT - I would only end up day dreaming. So I cling onto the thought that .. Life is NOT a fairytale.

3 years back so many people in the family were getting married (happily , not to mention perfect match ). Now practically its raining babies. And as of today so many people I know - friends , acquaintances , school mates are getting married , with their - ahem - absolute fairy tale stories.And look very HAPPY. It all seems like movies. So fictional ( and yet contrarily very real ). And since my beliefs are more inclined towards being realistic - I'm dead scared.

 I'm exasperated , puzzled & totally freaked out. The marriage proposals are going haywire. I'm not liking it AT ALL. I'm already not very fond of the marriage concept ; add to it marrying a complete stranger makes me fall of the edge.

I'm asked several times .. what am I looking for in a guy. And I'm clueless :o because I don't want to go about a check list. I'll just know.

But hello!! It only sounds easy. How will I know if I don't know what I want ? I definitely know what I don't want. But isn't that again like keeping a cross list ? :/

There's nobody I can talk to about this. Its so pointless. They are all gonna give me some fairytale sweets to choke up on. And I only wish to tell them..am so.damn.freaking.scared!

Dad is hardly offering any solution. He's barely offering me any solution to my other emotional debatable thoughts. I am unable to confide into him. I cannot tell him what's eating me. And all this while I never worried..because I'd think he'd eventually rescue me out of all my problems or give me proper direction , which is so not happening.

Its funny I'm thinking of all sorts of fasts that I never kept all this while. Handsome husband and all that. I never believed in it. And now am so desperate to get off my fear -  I'd do anything. Superficial. Superstitious. Just tell me. And I'll do it.

Am one year short to my quarter life (crisis). But seems like , IT -  the crisis , has decided to fall upon me too soon.

Ok . I need some air to breathe.

I could only pray for a great amount of wisdom right now...and distantly a not so perfect yet a content fairytale.

Wolf of the Wall Street

I haven't seen a movie as crazy as the Wolf  recently. Its just awesomely nuts. And the fact that its based on  real life story of Jordan Belfort makes it all the more alluring. Or did I just mention crazy ? :P

Leonardo Dicaprio is wonderful - effortless with his ramblings , drugs overdose after effects , Spartan like speeches & of course delivering F words like butter , dialogues and demeanour only he could make you laugh at  .
There's almost a similar parallel role he played in Catch me if you can..only this one gets extremely ridiculously entertaining.

-------

And the funniest of the scenes. ( Several others I refrain to put on the blog :P )

Jordan Belfort: [to the waiter] Oh, I'm good with water for now.

Mark Hanna: It's his first day on Wall Street. Give him time.

Jordan Belfort: I fucked her brains out... for eleven seconds.

Jordan Belfort: Was all this legal? Absolutely not!

Jordan Belfort: I am not gonna die sober!

Jordan Belfort: People say shit... I mean like, you married your cousin or some stupid shit.

Donnie Azoff: Yeah, my wife is my cousin or whatever, but it's not like what you think.

Jordan Belfort: Is she like, a first cousin?

Donnie Azoff: Her father is the brother of my mom. Like, we grew up together, and she grew up hot, you know, she fucking grew up hot. And all my friends are trying to fuck her, you know, and I'm not gonna let one of these assholes fuck my cousin. So I used the cousin thing, as like, an in with her. I'm not like, gonna let someone else fuck my cousin, you know? If anyone's gonna fuck my cousin, it's gonna be me. Out of respect.

----------------

Must must must watch even as the movie yells F words a million times probably making it the most sweari-est movie :D