Crackers

I'll be lying if I say Diwali was Great but it was fine & fun.No complaints.No grumbling from my side.Its been too fast like always.And some muck-in-your-face moments just made it worse.There are such unimaginable characters around ! Some people are really sick.But then , I don't care.The problem is : its a disaster when some really close people have something very hurting to say.

Its getting too much for me to get over so many emotions at one single time.So many decisions.And so many comparisions.However , somehow I didn't feel that pang of guilt , rage or regret anytime.Maybe I'm just too tired - to react , to boil my blood over or to shed tears.

Anyway , Diwali : I socialized a little bit.Stepped into my neighbour's home which otherwise I wouldn't ever do.I mean most of them are useless or pathetic or DUMB! And then I'm not quite fond of anyone except my extended family.Family's family.Simply great ! Neighbours are neighbours - they spy , they gossip , they are never there for you for even a tiny help if required , and they are just not your family.Why would they care for you ?!

I do LIKE to interact with people , talk to them ; wanting to keep a sensible conversation going on but my neighbours are not sensible enough.I mostly feel like I'm surrounded by strangers.People seem so busy to respond to a smile.To say a hello once a while.Act so weird.Its pathetic.But anyway , not all of them are that way.There are FEW nice people too.And its always good to talk to them.

One of the reasons why the non sensible ones are categorized into that field is because of their patent dialogue : "Kitni baadi ho gayi!" As if I'm supposed to be 10 yrs old - forever!

I didn't fire crackers.I'm not crazy about it.I like watching people do that.I like watching the sky glitter.But I hate the noise.Some crackers sound good , others- most - are deafening!

I wonder why am not hyper with festivity.Why I'm not over excited.I haven't been whole-heartedly mentally PRESENT in last couple of days in any of the activities around the home.
I'm just not me.Not the hyper me.Not the normal me.Not the shy one.Not the sad one.Not having stupid crushes either.Just someone I haven't ever been.So lifeless.

Somewhere I know what's bothering me...

and ...

we are back to square one - Its bothering me , AGAIN.

I would have been able to keep the troubles at bay..had I figured a solution which I just don't see coming to me.Whirlwind of Trash!

* BB : Wanted to see Inglorious Bastards.

P2 : oh..I didn't hear of that movie.

BB : You just say..we are going for Inglorious beep beep.

And then , we actually laughed =) I love it when I laugh at something which isn't a 'joke' but timely funny.Love the moment.