Obsessions!

My obsession with date & time is ludicrous.

There isn't a single page in any of my 'notebooks' where you won't find the date written.
Before I begin to write anything - the first thing I do is to scribble the date.
I'm used to this for more than FIVE years.
Right from my physics , chemistry notes (  I still have all the notes 'preserved'*! )  to accounts , taxation etc - every single page has the damned date.

Its one of those things my friends have found to add as a little sidekick joke.
In past few days , specially during internals when I used to roughly jot down points - someone or the other would taunt me to write the date. They compel me if I ignore their remark as if I were breaking a 'tradition' and I give in because its certainly one :D

 TIME
What do I say about this ? I'm a punctuality freak ; hands down.
Case 1 : If I were to reach college  just '2 mins' behind the schedule  - I FREAK out.
Cannot tolerate that even when its totally harmless.
I guess my ego works more in this case. "How on earth can I be late ?"  
( even if I have nobody to report to :P )
I feel like I'm losing a game if I reach late. THAT  obsessive.

While driving my head functions in 3 core areas - one is to drive safe , second : any other random thing going in my mind and three - what is the time and how much more will it take for me to reach.

Case 2 : There's another time calculation I'm obsessed with. While opting for different routes I keep comparing which one makes me reach faster. Whereas the fact remains that no matter what route I choose - it would take around the same time , a min or two here and there.
A min or two ?? I can't help convincing myself later as to how  overcoming that 'a min or two' is significant enough and therefore the 'other' route makes more sense! :D

Case 3 : This one's really the heights of all. In casual talks..we say - I'll be there in 5 or 15 or 10 or whatever. I usually  give a different series of no. - In 3 mins , 7 mins...etc and that is to say PRECISELY.
I mentioned already , my obsession is ludicrous!!

And the problem with such kind of not -so- serious stupid obsessions  is that if you do not comply with it..it keeps nagging in your head.


* Notes : This is out of habit. I have all my notebooks & textbooks of Sanskrit ( 5th to 10th grade ) , history & English textbooks from school , and most of my 'education' material preserved. I cannot do away with what I have always loved to read & study.
And for the other half that gave me nightmare - chem , physics which are not even going to serve any purpose ever again are kept for namesake.I don't like throwing  away my books and notes or passing them.

'Extra Attention'

 Its tough to impress dad. I don't make much of an effort to get noticed ..but somewhere I'm desperate for him to appreciate & acknowledge ONE damn thing that I've done or  that I do.
OK I'm aware there isn't anything *very* impressive about me either . .  .but only so much for my creative inputs!!

I still follow what he says...'you don't need certificates from others..you need to certify yourself..that's more important' 
But I demand to know what harm would a little active encouragement do ?

And he asks me why do I need extra attention ?!
Booom boom boom!

Of all the things that I dislike the most is that he NEVER appreciated my music skills.
My music sir may praise me , tag me fav & talented student ( which I genuinely feel is an exaggerated form of encouragement ) but dad ?!?

NEVER!!

Whats more annoying & hurtful is when he declares I'm yet to have proper sense of music.
Where as I'm good enough! I know that because I can feel it in every beat of my heart when I play it!
I know how to play , what speed to play with...and I can harmonically balance the taal and raag. That's what sir has always appreciated me for!!

Agreed..I stopped giving music exams. I haven't learnt a new raag since two years. But I still enjoy playing whatever I've learnt. And I am pretty good at it!

Damn.

I've given up on this episode though. I avoid touching the piano or harmonium when he is around.
I like to play when I'm alone. Without any listeners. Without being judged. ( Except if its appreciated :P )
Just for myself.

Wow! And do I even need to mention the power of music ? Its splendid!

Graphology

You lie A LOT.

- First thing said. Spontaneously ; on viewing my handwriting.
True. I do.

You are emotional. And you debate a lot between your mind and heart.
Well ... we all are emotional.
The second one is true.

You don't want to get committed right now.
Spot on :P

Not so good with multitasking.

Umm ok. I cannot focus on two things at one time. If that's what it is meant to be ?
True.

Not much of a traveler.
Don't get much of a chance :-| But love to.

But you do not like traveling for mythology/culture sake , say you'd chose Goa over Khajiroa Temples.

Heck ! Anyone would!! :-|
But I'm too much into historical places. So if it were Goa VS Rome/Greece/France , I'd go for the later one even if I was supposed to travel alone. Historical places in India would be second only after Goa.Sorry :P

You build on your ideas based on previous ideas.
:-|  okayy...( not creative huh ?? )
No its a good thing..meaning to say that you prefer finishing one task before you start another. Similarly for the ideas.
Ok :) ( I need to think on this one..am not sure if it holds true for me.)


You do not argue 'much' with your parents.
I cannot.
If I could , I would have.
But I cannot.
True , anyway.

Don't get into business.You'll do awful.
Oh what ?!?!
Yeah AWFUL.
Ok..am gonna get my handwriting changed by then ;-)

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So that's one of the quite talented co-volunteer I had an interaction with. Its amazing he told a lot of things about me only by viewing a handful of my handwriting.I had heard of graphology but I thought it would be quite general.Not so impressive. However , this guy really surprised me and I guess he would have told a lot more had we had the time.
One of his friends even put a FB status 'Stay away from M. The guy can really freak you out'
Lol..seems like he's pretty good with this stuff.
The best part is that this guy doesn't know me too much personally. So his interpretations were unbiased.And like I've mentioned , quite true to a large extent.

Next thing I know..I'm going to this man who tells you everything seeing your thumb print :P
Belief no belief. Doesn't matter. Its good as long as it isn't freaky. :D

Hell and Heaven

 Hell & heaven are two most commonly used words or phrases.
On an average cursing involves sending someone to hell as if it were allowed and feasible by law.
And heaven covers picturesque beauty , scrumptious food , chocolates , friends & all the stuff that one finds pleasant.

Now coming to the actual meaning of these two imagined destinations , popular mostly through various religions which define them exponentially - there's a hell lot of stuff that you gotta be knowing!

So I'm quoting through my religion.[Hindu] One of our religious books which I read a couple of months back..describes hell so badly that for a moment I didn't want to belong to my religion. Its scary even if there's no proof of grantee of  your ticket to hell.

And then there was this whole list of what happens if you commit a sin.What happens in hell that is.
I can't point out a lot from what I read  - all I can say is it scared the hell out of me!

Strangely there's no major description as to what awaits you in heaven!

Back in Aug when I'd been to Mathura..we went to this temple where there were paintings all over the wall with one part talking about sins and the other its repercussions.
There was the usual..with what if you lie , what if you kill animals and eat ( two monsters roast you ; possibly just in the same way you had your barbecue )
The funny part is there was something about what happens if a wife mis-treats her husband!  and of course what if the husband mistreats his wife. Equal rules.
Then quite surprisingly - there was one painting talking about infidelity. First time I've seen or read anything close to that in my religion!

Ok so the whole point I'm trying to make is - none of us are saints! We all have our share of minor sins and we all somewhere have also done something good to someone else. So where does that put us ? I mean..hypothetically if we were to be send to one of these , where would we go ? Stranding between hell & heaven , I guess ? I know nobody knows how much of this is applicable. I mean all these talks are obviously a result of hundreds of thousands of old stories. And then nobody comes back to confirm any of it either! But I feel such kind of stories were made & written so that people were afraid of committing 'sins'. Which nobody to this day is!  If lying or eating non veg food is sin...then hell ought to be large enough ;)

I'm not 'superstitious' or supremely religious. This was something I had always been thinking of.
In my opinion , the concept of hell and heaven is just overrated.

Inception Concluded.

Inception was like a riddle..a puzzle to solve.Although I had my own interpretation for the movie..what left me a little irked was that every other person with whom I discussed the movie - had an entirely different interpretation.
I had given up on it until one my friends texted me telling me her take on it which is the MOST bizzare conclusion I've heard/read.

Radz : The movie ended with Mel's dream.She was controlling all the dreams.The kids were not real.They were just Cobb's projection.

Ok. Weird , aint it ?? I mean the director must be MAD to have written the story from this point of view .Mel was dead and gone.If there was anything that was to be answered - it was whether Cobb was dreaming in the end or not ?

The problem is..Radz' interpretaion left me with more questions and doubts , even when it made no sense..So I went to see the movie AGAIN.
And despite watching the movie for the second time..I couldn't decipher the confusion!! ( which annoys me even more )

I happened to read several forums and sites that discussed the movie and analyzed it.And finally I reached to my conclusion , which I texted to my friends and cuz who were as much intrigued by the movie as I was.

 Me : Bohot soch vichaar aur duniya bhar ke lekh padhne ke baad ...hum is natijey pe pahuche hai ki 

( Hold your breath)

.

.

.

.Inception has plot holes! :D The director didn't bother to make the rules of the dreamworld clear.The movie had few loopholes which fail to explain the basic concept. ( Aur jankari ke liye, Kripya mujhse sampark karein )   Giving my obsession a dead end now.PEACE.

My bro replied.

Awin : Director ka manana hai ki dharti par paaye jane wale vibhinna manushyon ke liye yadi ek movie banana hai toh woh yehi hai.Har manav alag end sochega...aur vichlit hota rahega. Is dauraan woh movie baar baar dekh ke apni vidambana door karega.Is tarah movie ka kosh rupiyon se bhar jayega! 

 LOL :D this one's really the best conclusion :P
And then my sister replied too.

P2 : Kya uttam vichaar prakat kiye hai is balak ne .( with ref to the above mentioned msg ) Aur director ke isi maayajal  ka shikaar tum ho chuki ho balike ( this was for me:P since I watched thre movie twice:P ). Ab apne in vicharo ko viram do...kyon ki apne dimag ka had se jyada upyog tumhare aur baaki janta ke hit mein nahi hai !

Haha :D  I agree with both of them! I've really invested a lot of time in cracking this movie.And it has been fun. I wanted to list down the loopholes as well but I guess its not required anymore as I've decided to wait for the next part if at all there'll be one :D

 Inception deciphered  : Make a wonderful movie ( script )

Misguide , dazzle , perplex  viewers as much as you can.

Mint money.

The Brand Bug

I'm not a brand freak.I believe in buying things of worth.And having said that , I enjoy donning brands just as much ;)

Recently I have come across a lot of people who worship brands.Who can never do without brands and the kind who think you cannot make friends unless you wear brands!

The point is that you don't need to buy something just because it is branded.Clothes and accessories are picked out because you like them ; would like to wear them - not selected over because they belong to so-so brand which would cost an arm and a leg.

I've seen several branded clothes that you wouldn't believe belong to that very label.
As long as something looks really stunning on you..it doesn't matter if you are wearing a brand or not.

Brands may guarantee the quality. But is it always worth the price ??
Or are you simply paying half the sum to the logo ? ;)

To each his own.I'm just amused how much the brand bug latches upon young minds...when their friendships depends on the label of their clothes.Sick.

Vendetta

I have this weird mindset attached to being at some places.
Like the kind I would never want to visit , again.The weird part is that my first trip at those particular places wasn't bad at all.And am unable to figure out why I wouldn't want to be there :|

Just for example..today I've been thinking of Blore which I'd last visited 5 years back.
I had spent a wonderful time out there..visited pubs..shopping et al.
And today..on this dull Saturday while am just mentally re-visiting my travelogue ..I cannot quite adjust to being present in blore in future.It gives me eerie feelings.Don't know what it is..maybe the culture out there...the atmosphere..or something mysterious associated with my memory that am unable to tap.

I wish to break that 'feeling' by visting Blore soon!
I really hope I do or these weird set of thoughts are going to give me nightmares.


*** I read
A thousand Splendid Suns : highly disturbing and painful.The tragedy ..the irony , the pain endured by the protagonists is just too much to read.I can read The Kite Runner atleast 5 times in all my life..but am never going re-read A thousand Splendid Suns.Its a sad and a very UNFAIR tale.
The writing style of the author also differs from his previous novel.A different presentations altogether.

A walk to remember : I'm not hurt  is all I can say.Maybe having read tragic love stories earlier..this one couldn't bother me much.

The Godfather : My first ever read on Mafia.Engrossing tale of crime and family ( notice.. I didn't say criminal family.The Don is strangely respectful )
There was a lot of irrelevant detail given on account of the other characters which really wasn't necessary , since it didn't have much purpose towards the climax.Waste of pages :|

I've always had some interest in the structure and organization of Mafia.So I think I need to start digging for some info.
Vendetta.I like the word..not the meaning.

mental blogsphere

I'm a victim of mental blogging.
Oodles of sentences / catchy self made phrases flow through my head while am mentally blogging.But the same never seems to transpire over my electronic personal page.And give to that , this annoying PC which faints off every 15 mins blocking the transfer process of thoughts from my head to the fingertips desperate to thump the keyboard!

And now that the PC is back to its normal senses , I don't remember half or even 1/4th of the things I wanted to blog about.

When you want  to write down hundreds of things - you do not manage to have the time/resource/device for it.
And when you do have the time to blog - you have no freaking idea WHAT to blog.
Such is blog life! :P

I miss my mentally blogged posts though.

Anyway , on a different note all together -
I so very much love the following PostSceret from this week -

                                                [ www.postsecret.blogspot.com ]

Unreasonable

I check the msg log and call duration each and every time I unlock my cellphone without any purpose.Sometimes I do it twice or thrice after I've spoken to someone or sent a text.I like to keep a track but 70% of the time I do so - is because I'm simply addicted!

Reading newspaper is must for me wherein it certainly doesn't matter what section of News I read , but I have to scan the front page + read the 3 cartoons on second page .Those are amusingly witty.Popeye is plain stupid but that's one thing which doesn't annoy me respite all the grammar tangles and the spelling loops.My day feels incomplete w/o it.And yes reading reviews on Sats is a must too.

No matter how cold it is - I cannot sleep w/o the fan on.
I'll put three blankets over me if required , but I won't ever turn off the fan.

I have a habit of asking "Where did you get that from?" every single time I see a friend/cousin in a b'ful outfit! I cannot resist asking that nor can I stop pestering until I am given a proper answer ! So many of the ones I know keep their shopping destinations a big secret.At the end , it wouldn't even matter to me because I never seem to make a plan 'Ah yes..I will go there now' . I just like to know what place on earth contains the good stuff since I'm almost always jinxed when it comes to shopping.
And not just in case of outfits - my jaws & vocal cords react spontaneously after seeing great shoes , bags , junk jewellery and watches too !

I laugh a little too much at times.Even when there's nothing funny about what is being said.On top of that ,  I'm quite a tubelight because I laugh a bit late.

Few ( selective ) people I meet or have met for a short while or have been with for a long time have a strange influence on me.I get a hangover of their style of speaking or body language.Not that I try copying them..but I involuntarily start talking like them , for a few mins to be precise.
Dunno what kind of rare IN-FLU-ENCE it is.

Can you define ?

 And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

These are the lyrics of a song.And I can so fit them @ how I feel right now.

I'd been to my college few days back with some of my 11th 12th grade friends ( who were with me in the same coll back then ) And it felt weird - Not nostalgic or that sense of deja vu..since I rarely ever missed my coll -  but something strange.

Being together at a place with the same people I'd once been with - felt odd.
Like I said..I never missed my coll but these strange feelings were making me sappy and yet I did not cry.Not even after coming back home. 
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming.

And although so far I've never really said that I 'enjoyed' my to-be-called-high-school-days , I cannot deny I had an amazing time.Only that I never wanted to agree that my coll & coll friends weren't that bad.. 
Or ( Can't fight ) the moment of truth in your lies

So many 'events' flashed by my eyes as I strolled in the corridor.Plus when my friend added..."Ah ..is this our coll ?" I could actually feel myself virtually fainting.Yes this is dramatic.But you know how it is..like they shoot in movies ? The scene where the camera angle rolls round or goes slow into a direction..showing shades of sepia or black and white and the sound of the voices are suppressed and echoed - the kind which you hear when your ears are blocked.I was experiencing almost the same.
 When everything seems like the movies

I remembered everything.
French class.Exams.Gossips.Scandals.Friends.Canteen! My debacles at chem lab.
Bunking practical for auditioning at Radio Mirchi where of course I never got selected. 
Tutions.And tution mates.Rain! Accident.
Oh so many things! Important or not.Just so many goddamn things!

Its amazing how brain works sometimes.It never lets you forget things that are going to bitterly twist the insides of your stomach and heart only to emotionally paralyze you for few hours.
It hurt me.All these things..
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

Heck.I cldn't belive I never looked back and thought about these things.It was as if I let it all go after waking up from a long dream.Not done!

Maybe now I understand why I feel odd every time  -

I see an empty campus ( meomory associated with my exam centre )

Or when I hear some particular song .( Memory associated with the times when I used to hear those songs)

Weird weird weird!

Can someone define something which is not nostalgia OR Deja Vu..but is very much inclusive of re-visiting old memories and at the same time not badly-missing-those-days / moments ..but still being hurt just by remembering them ?!

Fevicol & Jinx

I had this chocolate pastry 2 days back that had to be mentioned here because it tasted like Fevicol.
I have never tasted fevicol.But sometimes you just happen to figure out from the smell of an edible item how it must taste like.I somehow am able to 'imagine' the taste of other non-edible items too.

Fevicol's one of them.
It smells strong.It just easy to consider how it would taste like.

Now accordingly , I should have known what that choc cake would taste like ( going by the smell which again must be the smell of fevicol > > since it tasted like fevicol ) But that didn't work.It smelled heaven : just what normal choc cake/pastry must smell and taste like.
So I had it all but of course it tasted fevicol :|

I think I also know what a chalk tastes like.And same goes for sand.
The smell tells you so much.
When I was young , I used to not eat veggie , curries or whatever the healthy food stuff I was supposed to eat.And if I happened to be at a relative's place , I would smell the food before eating it.I wonder if I was a cat in my previous birth but that's ironical since I'm cat-o-phobic.So whatever I was and am..I smell food before eating , unconsciously I guess.Most of the times ..its just too tempting.
The smell of the food in itself has my stomach and tongue demons rolling , dancing :P apart from the Ravenous Rats jumping ;)
I somehow , don't find it odd.And I still like myself , even If I WAS a cat.

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My friend VD used to always scold me for playing with my cell phone and she still does.
I would never let my cell phone rest in place.Flip it up and down , use it like an empty bottle and roll it round the table , drop it minimum 5 times a week somewhere or the other, etc.
I just have to do something to my cell phone.Now VD almost cursed me ..that I will break my cell into pieces if I continue making my cell dance to my tunes.
She loves her cell.I mean even I do but only to the limits of how a biscuit phone ( that's how Awin nicked my cell ) is to be loved.She keeps it like its a diamond ring.Has it laminated , always in cover and always neatly kept on the desk unlike me.
NOW..the jinx seems to have done its job , totally reverse.

Her cell was pieces :D I couldn't stop laughing when I first heard that.I actually wondered if laughing was the right thing since we were supposed to mourn for the death of her cell :P
But she couldn't hide her laughter either. In fact she was embarrassed while breaking the news to me.
So well the lesson is : Don't be super possessive about your cell phone.Let it breath , man! Give it space and mostly Make it DANCE! like I do :D

Since she always had the cell in the cover , the other day she didn't realize which side was sealed and bang on : the cell slipped off the open side , lol + it had to fell and crash with the edge of the glass table ..ultimately breaking the screen.Poor lamination charges :P
Her cell might get repaired.I hope it does.

Lesson 2 : Never curse or even imagine of something bad happening to somebody else.You never know , you see :P