Next time you end up talking to a jerk or a smart person who suddenly talks nonsense or is too over smart for you to handle ..be a little creative in firing them with taunts.
Don't say " Oh! How stupid are you?"
Or.."What crap ?! Don't you know ?"
Or "Stop being a jerk!"
Add some spice.
Sarcasm doesn't kill anyone.
I have three pick up liners for now ( Copied from somewhere I randomly read)
> Suppose there's a discussion going on some topic involving likes & dislikes & if that person is determined in forcing his/her likes on you whereas you are cent percent sure that your choice is anytime better.Try saying this.
..ok .. Maybe I should ask God to improve your taste.
> When someone is unnecessarily being stupid & nagging or acting like an irritating kid.
Are you naturally a jerk or do you practice being one daily ?
> Girls have a switch button of WIT.Really..sometimes the most intelligent ones talk rubbish.So give her a little hint -
Since when are you a blonde or how often do you flip between a blonde & a dudette ?
Accusing someone of being a jackass will do no good.Be a jack of smart sarcasm !
It ticks off like a timer bomb.Doesn't kill..just hurts the ego :D
Gimme some more liners.I'm not really good at witty sarcasm.
yeah finally i find someone who loves sarcasm...:P...as for one -liners there is always google...
ReplyDeleteToo many freaks, not enough circuses...:P...nice one-liners ...:)
Lol! I would definitely try these on someone much before they are tried on me :D
ReplyDeleteHehe ooh yeah, gotta hand it back to certain people. I'm pretty good at comebacks, but it depends on the situation. Like it's fun to think of them when you're with friends & laugh about it, but I doubt I'd ever actually say some of the crazy things I've come up with to someone's face, lol.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite one to say if someone says something really stupid or isn't quite getting the point (pretty much anything that shows they lack brain cells, lol) I think this one works:
a) Did your mom drop you often when you were a baby? :P
well, answer to your first question: Nah.. I am not at all smart.. :P
ReplyDeleteAre you naturally a jerk or do you practice being one daily ?
I am sure you must have asked this question to me in your mind while chatting.. :P well, this actually suits me.. lol.. :D
I have saved my one liners for my own blog.. but sometimes when i get super old prehistoric extinct DODO emails or smses, i reply by saying:
ReplyDelete"Do you know which was the first email/message sent ever? It was this one..!"
My friends think I am the Queen of Sarcasm but somehow I can't think of any lines to add :P It's something that is spontaneous, comes at that moment...nothing learned from somewhere...
ReplyDeleteAah! Once a girl was telling me she never gossiped until she met me and was accusing me of spoiling her...I just shot back at her "You are telling me you were not a girl before you met me - don't you think you should be thanking me for making you what you were born as rather than laying down your baseless allegations?"
I can't remember others :D Will return to this space when I recall more :)
good one dear..:)..i second sapphire..its alwAYS spontaneous...:)..
ReplyDeleteloved "Are you naturally a jerk or do you practice being one daily ?"
he he:)
Accusing someone of being a jackass will do no good.Be a jack of smart sarcasm !
ReplyDeleteIt ticks off like a timer bomb.Doesn't kill..just hurts the ego
Hey Sugar....these are the coolest lines i read in a while.
Thanks for the laughs......haha
u want one one liner sarcasm?
ReplyDeletec'mon i will giev u more than one :P
when someone asks u when u are standing in a line for getting a movie ticket, "Hey what are you doing here ?"
tell him "Hitler is hospitalized and i came here to see him, wanna join ?"
when someone is annoying u to the core, tell him
"if i throw a bone, will u leave?"
Peter toh iska baap hai... *hail Peter* :P
ReplyDeleteI loooovee... sarcasm, but only when I am using it ;) and it pisses off people to no end! But honestly, people around me don't understand sarcasm... :|
One-liners... uhh... you have to be in the moment to think of some... :-s
Lol...Read this:
ReplyDeleteAt a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people...
Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been you?
At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:- Is the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good??
Answer:- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.
At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years...
Stupid Question:- Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer:- Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.
sarcasm is good...
ReplyDeletewitty sarcasm better...
only if u r not on the receiving side of it!!
Hmm...i can be very sarcastic at times. and this post proves tht there r ppl who like being sarcastic at times.
ReplyDeletethanks for the tips
ReplyDeleteand ideas.
heh heh. *Accusing someone of being a jackass will do no good.*
ReplyDeletei agree. though i have the now what's the point disease. which is i think of the most sarcastic reply like two days later. then i'm like damn, damn, damn.
anyway, thanks for dropping by : )
Guess everyone needs those sometimes
ReplyDeleteSarcasm at its best or making best use of it to fend off offenders.
ReplyDeletemazedaar suggestions hain...
ReplyDeleteWill try and test... and then tell u abt it... :D