Once divided..nothing left to subtract.

I realized avoiding blogging or  simply avoiding writing made me less sentimental.
I always had this urge to put down every emotion ,  mixed feelings etc.
I didn't feel the need much these days nor did I have the energy to type all of it. Good thing.

But there are some things I want to express because they have been an integral part. Maybe I'm overemotional  - but that's not going to con me from stopping to write.

So you , listen to me now.

I'm dreading the time you will leave. I have been dreading it since the time we have been sipping coffee or eating corn together. Those long drives . Remember the day when you were going to fly to London and I cried liked a stupid ass. We were just friends then , right ? You held my hands , wiped my tears , pulled my cheeks and made me smile. That gesture just did it.

Now that those last few months of being with you are on their verge to end..and time being the bitch for slipping away tooo fast when I want it to just slow down , take a deep breath , maybe have a holiday - I have no clue how to react. How to behave.
Whether to show you my breakable side or to bid you goodbye with a smile.
I know I will see you again , after a couple of months ..maybe an year. But its not going to be the same. And we both know that.
But for now - I don't want to go through this phase. It is challenging. Can't face it. I want this phase to just come and wash away..hide somewhere.

I dreaded making memories too.
How do I subtract my daily routine of meeting you every evening , drinking coffee , being teased with your remarks on my weight , narrating you the stupidest incidents in college of the most interesting breed of friends ?
How am I going to see your reaction when I nod sarcastically on your serious scolding related to my studies ? :D
Who will be by my side the next time I faint in the movie hall ? :P
Who is going to make my day with that absolutely dazzling smile! :))
Code words. Check list. Cheesy talks.
Damn. We had hell lot of fun.

There is no feasible way we can recreate these moments.  I wonder how many years it will be before we would again enjoy such time together. Whether we would , at all.

I recollected so many incidents .Its funny..we don't match. Right from pani puri likings to nachos disliking. From our movie choices to watch obsession.
The very fact that you can cook and me ? ....far ..far away from 'can' cook :D

We even ended up having so many arguments. But you always made a fresh start without even mentioning whatever there was that we fought about , which is why I don't even remember those conversations.

You inspire me. I'm absolutely in awe of your passion and desire to achieve goals. I appreciate how ambitious and focused you are.

I like the fact that I don't run out of things to talk about ; with you. How I'm never uncomfortable except for blabbering slangs in Hindi that you dared me to. :P

Exactly 15 days to go.

I'm going to delete all sad songs from my cell/ipod. They aren't helping my already shrinking heart.
And why on earth did the exams have to collide now ?
How am I going to manage ?

You know how I feel , right ? Its not so much about the separation as much as it about the question of being together , again.
What I'm really happy about is that  - we've made an amazing friendship..
...and I hope distance doesn't dissolve it. ( dreading again! )

I'll try to be good.
Much love.