Karma

I've been spending some time reading and understanding Karma. I knew about it. Its feeded in our sub conscious right from our childhood. But I've never thought so deeply about this cause and effect circle.  And there are so many questions that I want answers for.

What are the 'good' and 'bad' things ?
Apart from ofcourse the basic..not wanting bad for someone , not seeking revenge etc.

Do thoughts count too ? Momentarily passing thoughts of jealousy , hatred or maybe even revenge ? Or is it all about the action one takes ?

If its all about Karma..the ACTIONS one takes - then what about your pre-written destiny ?

 I strongly believe in destiny.

Can the course of my destiny change solely on the basis of my Karma ?

Aren't all these laws intimidating and astonishing ?? I think its crazy!

But then the whole idea behind Karma is probably the fairness with which each person deserves to live.

And there goes the next question - who decides what we deserve ??

Crazy , no ? :D

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* My idea of forgiving is to let go. I mean yes someone says they're sorry. Then you just say 'its ok' wherein completely meaning that its NOT ok - that's not forgiving , is it ?

You just got to LET GO.

* I'm blunt and rude. Really very blunt. Almost like I throw fireballs when I'm on my taunting mode. When I'm hurt. And I like being blunt. Although it doesn't filter any hurting for myself. It causes even more pain. But when you care , when it still bothers..you have to tell. If I stop..that's even more dangerous. It will mean you've lost that place. I've lost that struggle to hold you onto that place.


* Currently , happiness is dancing!

Your believing or not believing in karma has no effect on its existence, nor on its consequences to you. Just as a refusal to believe in the ocean would not prevent you from drowning.

F. PAUL WILSON, The Tomb

Read more at http://www.notable-quotes.com/k/karma_quotes.html#6IOEXy3Jc2A7OoM3.99

Ramleela

This movie is so complicated ..at a point it felt like a stupid TV serial. Overdose of drama and too much of revenge which was going haywire. When something happened , the rivals made sure they did the same and then ? You are left thinking what the hell just happened ? And what the hell is happening now? :/
Nobody cares to clarify things.

If Sanjay Leela Bhansali was trying a Romeo and Juliet , I question him - where was the romance dude  ? A love-lust-bullets story with non happy ending doesn't make it an eternal love story. He hardly gave any scope for the romance to bloom.

Deepika is very impressive. Her playful eyes , her clothings , her dance ..she's the blood of the movie. Ranveer was a natural too but for the first half of it with all the sleazy dialogues and the body language of a mawali , he isn't much likeable.

The dialogues are hardly catching. Infact very stupid at times. The songs in the movie which played every 10 mins - were hard to differentiate. :/

The sets are ofcourse too colorful. After Sawariya where the director stuck to blue and black , Ramleela is full of Red.

Ranveer and Deepika are so hot and so desperate throughout the movie ( I'm 100% they must have made out for real - they were so horny :P ) - wish the director stuck to their romance or lust itself because otherwise the movie was hardly making sense. Also ,  together they simply sizzled on-screen !

Rating : 2.5/5

I failed you.

My music sir passed away a month back. I got to know about it last evening. It is extremely sad and painful to hear about his demise. I hadn't met him for around 2 years. I avoided or procrastinated whenever he asked me to continue learning. I always thought..there's always time. The same thought wrenches my heart with so much regret today.

Whats more hurtful is that I tried to contact him only 2-3 months back. In all the mess and negativity , I had found some peace and happiness with music. It was refreshing to tickle the ivories with my old notes. Almost nostalgic. And thats when I missed my teacher the most. I was just feeling restless and desperate to learn as much as I could and compensate for all these wasted years.

His phone was switched off. There was no other way I could contact him. I don't know why but I seemed to call him persistently for a couple of days. Later on I convinced myself he'll definitely turn up after Diwali.

And he isn't there anymore. I just can't believe he's gone. Like I could have done something had I been able to talk to him or meet him. I feel so helpless , so pathetic and regret not taking more efforts to  contact him just anyhow ..maybe through some old sources and students.

 But most of all..there is this burdening feeling of failing him as a student. He wasn't asking for much..was he? Only encouraging me every time to pursue music. When I made it clear that I wasn't interested in giving exams..which he really wanted me to - he coaxed me into singing. And I was all in for classical music. I wasn't getting trained particularly..but every now and then he would give me gazals and songs to sing while playing the harmonium. I enjoyed it a lot. Even today I sing and play those same tunes for some soulful connection I have found in them. And many more which I could have learned...

I failed him as a human being too. I hate to recall but the truth is at some point I disrespected him. I disrespected his sheer expertise and talent. I took him for granted.

It is difficult to find a teacher like him again. Someone so knowledgeable who would come home and teach. Someone who wouldn't be reluctant to adjust to his student's demands!
 He may have been poor. But he was so rich with his music.

I wish he had come home just once if he needed more money. To let us know he wasn't doing well. Somebody from his family could have told us..just one time! And we'd have done anything to save him.

I'm so apologetic but 'sorry' can far from justify the mistakes I've made. I wish wherever you are.. you forgive my nonchalance.
I wish I could have made you more proud of me.

I'm dreading to open my books and play the music YOU taught for I will sob inconsolably.

Its a huge loss to our family :(
May your soul rest in peace!

Learning music will never be the same for me...without you.

Scent & city.

Have you felt the scent of a new place ? Its as if every city carries its own fragrance.
 And with every one step more into it , every one second more that you spend with it...it starts becoming of you.
Travel in the locals. Unknown roads. Use the maps.
Feel the air. Feel the rush. Feel the scent.
And sooner you begin to feel you own the place.
You fall in love with an absolutely unknown place.

Have you ever got attached to an unknown person ? To someone you haven't even spoken to.
Occasional eye contacts and a smile. Something about that person makes you wanna talk to them.
It may not be significant but somehow you develop a silent camaraderie.
And maybe its not the person. Its the situation. Of missing the chance to speak at least once and of never having another chance.
Eventually you tend to carry warm memories of absolute strangers in unknown territories you will never meet again.

How to get rejected.

My parents are giving me a killer time even as they only utter the 'S' word. ( Shaadi!)
I was pretty much casual about it all these days but now that they have gone 'official' - what with the bio-data crap and my relatives constantly poking me with that annoying word over and again..I'm having sleepless nights!

Not only am I totally against arranged marraiges but the unfortunate part is I haven't found anyone either. Had I been able to find someone - in all probabality I would have NOT approached my parents with my found proposal because I'm a coward and because in all probability they would have rejected :P
'Love' is a word we madus don't understand. Its equivalent to committing a crime in our community.

So my idle mind has been doing the devilish workshop and here's a list of killer twists I imagine to throw off at the guy to ensure I remain single for as long as I want to be.
And for what I've observed little statements have a huge impact.

- "I don't want kids." ( which is really true. :p but I'm guessing he wouldn't buy that!)
- Modification : "I cannot conceive. "( :p )
- "Movies every weekend. Dining out every weekend. 3 abroad trips an year" :P 
- "I want to work out of family business." ( Business family not liketh that!)
- "I want to date for at least 6 months even before engagement." A live-in demo won't be bad :p
- "I talk in my sleep. And my mood swings are pretty occassional. I'm VERY short tempered."
- "Traditional wear doesn't suit me."
- "I can cook. But I can't do it for the rest of my life."
-  "Mai apne baap ki bhi nahi sunti" ( true story. This dialogue acted as  a catalyst for a girl to get rejected by my cousin :P)
- One more that I thought of - to dress not so well. But I wouldn't do that because I like to be presentable no matter what :p

lol..I wonder if I have the guts and how many of them am I capable of practically using.
I'm definitely gonna put across the cooking and clothing part.

My parents would be quite miffed if I attempt any other approach :P They still treat me like a teen! I might as well get 'punished' for offending their choice. :|

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This whole arrange marriage process is sooooooo irritating.
I mean seriously..who can be excited for it?! :\
I've been crying just by the thought of marraige to a complete stranger.

But my devilish mind also runs the idea of doing something crazy & saying yes out of that :p


God save me!

Walk the talk.

Something , and infact I'd say a lot has metamorphosed in me in the past few days.
 I feel responsible with a guilt riding over my head making me cringe.
But the difference is that I want to take and act on that responsiblity.

Now that this sapience has conceded , am desperate to makeup for the loss of the past years of what I would name as the prolonged teenage f**khead 'me' phase!

Its as if I'm only a couple of mins late on the platform when the train I had to board on - has already departed.
I will have to run. Sweat a little. And then I'll catch it. I'll do.

But its scary to think what if am unable to catchup ?
 It makes me groan out aloud. The thought makes me weep inside , for all we know - I'd take the blame over me.

Its time to take charge of everything. Its time to get onto this track. I have to and I want to make things allright. I want to take care of my family.
They are all that matters right now.

Yes , it was about me. Everything has always been about ME. Whether or not I was happy? Whether or not I was fulfilling my dreams ?  Whether I was not getting what I wanted ? Me. Me. Me!
But I forgot there was so much more to me , of me & about me.

My thoughts. I am working on my thoughts.
I'm putting efforts to heal my body mentally , spiritually and emotionally. It will take weeks , months... but I'm determined not to let anything make me slip from here.

Health has been on my list for quite a long time. The problem with me is that all my pursuance fails at a point. So I HAVE to be persistent. I can't afford any other option this time.
 I'm pursuing fitness. Giving myself Ayurvedic tonics and doing yoga and cardio.
I am expecting and aiming for a radical change in myself by November. This Diwali I'm gonna give  this wonderful gift 'fitness' which I have denied myself intermittently.

It feels good when you try to take things in your stride. When you are at least being honest to yourself. I've already wasted so much time and I'm not allowing that to undermine my enthusiasm.

Nike's mantra is for everyone - Just do it!

Hong Kong. Macau!

This is month old post lying in drafts. :| Totally unfair for it to be there. All I had to was edit , add and hit publish.

Pre-trip , I would have ideally exaggerated ( atleast NOW I will use this word ) about how this trip could be something I would trade anything in the world for.
And then when it happened..when it really did..despite all of my nightmares - it doesn't feel complete.  Like you know that feeling of euphoria or post-travel post-good-times zeal. That's missing.Its just not there.
Ok there were some fights involved. Arguments. But eventually we had fun. We enjoyed. And I was with the best people of my life. And yet..it was incomplete..?

I guess this is a different kind of travel hangover. :|  If I would be saying this to my friends  , they'd probably say " Han han Different toh rahega hi..tu apne desh se jo wapas aayi hai " :D

Confused ? Well.. In all the planning and packing , I forgot to scribble a post about all these Chini jokes made on me before we took off to Hong Kong.
China is considered to be my motherland by one and all.
My friends asked me to make sure that I find my real parents :D Because my Indian parents are so Indian and am soooo Chinese :D
I always disagree about looking Chinese which people claim only due to the fact that  I have small eyes ( how unfair! ) But I certainly have doubts about the possibility of being adopted for some family genes are just not running into me! :P
Some others jokes went about ..
" Tu apne purvajo k desh ja rahi hai "
" Don't get lost ok. Your parents will probabaly bring someone else back thinking its you!!"
" Click pictures with Chinese people. Then we'll play find 6 differences" 
lol this one's  a personal favorite :D


Post-trip post. The travelogue :

Macau

If you ever plan to go to Macau. You HAVE to stay at the Venetian Macau Hotel. Its so huge and beautiful comprising of the hotel , a mall and ofcouse-  the biggest casino! All suite rooms with king size beds and huge bathrooms fully adorned with mirrors.

Magnificent Hotel Lobby!

The hotel is so huge ..it actually took us two days to learn to move about it.

The casino was awesome. We lost everything we put in :D :| except dad who won 36 times on roulette ;)

The entire Venice theme is  alluring. ( This is the shopping zone ! )

The hotel has an Indian restaurant named Golden Peacock which serves Indian VEG food at affordable price. So thankfully we didn't face much issue with food. Moreover if you stay at the hotel - you get vouchers which you can redeem & make use of at the restaurant , buy goodies and some listed stuff , go for the Gondola ride which otherwise costs more than 100 Hk $ per person. :\
Mac D is a waste for veggies. It smells awful :| Plus its expensive.

The Italian Gondola Ride.

Our Gondolier was Lia from Italy who  impressed us with her Hindi speaking skills. Greeting us with Namaste and calling us all 'sundari' :D .She knocked us off when she sang 'Chin ta ta' while also doing its signature step ! In return we sang Senorita for her :D Lia made the Gondola ride a lot more fun and there is no doubt about the fact that Indians are loud - so yeah we got a lot of audience :D

Macau Tower.

A view of Macau from the tower.

 You can experience one of the highest bungee jumps in the world from the Macau Tower. ( 233 meters!)  We watched 4 people bungee jump. It hardly takes few seconds for the fall and its quite thrilling to watch let alone do it. ( Of course I couldn't convince my parents enough :P ) 

It costs around 3000 HK $ ; approx 24000 INR. 

Macau is a small place and a 2 day stay is more than sufficient. 

Hong Kong :

It takes about 45 mins to reach HK from Macau after you board a ferry.
We stayed for 4 days. Hong Kong is like an extension of Mumbai with wider and clean roads. Old HK looks exactly like Mumbai except for the Chinese signs and billboard. 

Day 1 : We strolled around TST ( Tsim Tsa Tsui )  which is in Kowloon ( old HK). If you wanna book a hotel , this is the ideal place to lodge at. The subway is close. And the entire shopping area in in TST. It has a lot of major brands. 
There are a couple of Indian restaurants as well. 
Note : Finding vegetarian food in HK is a tough task. There are top end Indian restaurants which are of-course expensive. The Woodland Hotel at TST is a very good option.

Ocean Park

Day 2 : Ocean Park!  I found this one hyped. I mean , yes it must have been pretty famous 2 decades back. Dolphin show must be quite a thing that time.But essentially its a place for kids to enjoy seeing penguins , polar bears and sea lion. Thankfully some of the adventure rides came as a respite for us adults. The weather sucked. It was blazing hot!! 
The light show at night was a beautiful thing to watch.
 
Day 3  : We took a day off which was a very wise decision as the entire day at ocean park combined with the scorching sun had us totally drained out. 
We went to Mong Kow which is close to TST and famous for shopping. I couldn't get what the entire hyper around it is for! We did bargain but eventually  had to pay a high price for clothes and bags. So no! HK isn't a shopping destination ( with ref to bragain-shopping) unless you want to splurge on expensive branded stuff.

Took the metro ride to Central HK. All the stunning corporate buildings welcome you to the main HK. We were too late to catch the tram ride , hence missed going to Victoria Peak! :(
The Times Square and Stanley Street are in main HK ( for extravagent shopping :D )

Day 4  : Disneyland! 
I would rate out visiting Disneyland as the 10/10 sole reason to visit HK :P Who on earth wouldn't enjoy this beguiling place! Every damn thing about this place shouts richness. The park has been so nicely designed , you feel like you've entered an  entirely different world! Each and every ride & restaurant is chockablock with fairytale elements. 
The cartoon characters take you back to your childhood. How we miss Misckey , Uncle Scrooge , Aladdin & Mermaid !
The Lion King Show ( Live by theater artists) is spectacular. 
And the best ride was Mystic Manor. Its just superb!

  
Disneyland bewitches you at night - specially with the fire-show. 

I made this trip with my family AND my two most loving sisters.So this was the first trip of its kind. I had nightmares about its success since two such planned trips previously never happened!

And even as Prats gave a goodbye speech when we departed for India about how our fights didn't matter and lets just enjoy this moment because its the first and could be the last trip together..

I whined silentely.. Why last? Why the hell it should be the last ?! Just because I was stupid and annoying ? How could you do this to me? Why last?!!

To say she read my mind and replied - "who knows what happens in the coming days and where life takes us all."

Damn. That pinches!

She made me feel so guilty about being such a jackass. 

I wanted her to scream at me. 

To scold me for being immature and whatever the hell I was being :/

But the time's gone.

And all am left with are memories..  A LOT of them..about this amazing vacation to cherish about.

Things I'd never like to forget. Things that bring instant happiness to me :)

Those Chinese conversations. 

Public embarrassment missions.

Emptying our pockets out at casino!

 Photograph-obsession.

 The day wen we missed to go to Victoria Peak & all the jokes about the same :D 

Disneyland !! 

We've resolved to go back to Macau to jump off the Tower :D

* All pictures posted here have been clicked by me :P There is some jinx attached with me and cameras. My (new) camera started acting weird.Add to it - I lost the charger!! So had to save the battery for disneyland .Sadly it was so hot even on the day we visited disneyland - that none of us had much energy or enthusiasm to click ! Talk about obsessing for clicking pictures :P