Squaring A Circle

Driving on highway

2012-03-04T19:20:00.000+05:30

I just got wings. So I cannot stop from flying.

Doing crazy stuff. Drove 20 kms in the outskirts of the city for a college function at night.

It was risky. My first drive on highway at night.
Did not tell at home.

"kamine' friends kept irritating all through the drive :
" yes , run over that guy.."
" are 2-3 ko toh aaj uda hi dena.."
" Oyee..mai apni mom ka ek lauta beta hoon..so please aaram se chala"
" Nammm...if you hit the truck , the truck will be pieces..apne ko kuch nahi hoga" :P

So even while my car and we all survived ...( it was quite hyped..I was driving good enough!)
this guy Z starts talking about flesh , blood and dunno what all :O

And he did not accompany us , the girls on our way back. Free food makes him 10 times more hungry :|

Had an amazing Dj party! Danced to my heart's content! :D :D
We never refrain ourselves from doing garba..even if the song played is 'chammak challo'

Seniors choreographed a fashion show on retro theme. Quite commendable.

And there was lavani too which was performed twice.

We too danced on 2 bollywood numbers with 1 hr of practice.
Maybe the saving grace was that we cancelled one of our dance sequence at the end moment on seeing all the other dance performances. :P

College doesn't suck when it arranges such parties :D
How I love to dance !!

Only expression : '!!!???!!!'

2012-02-25T20:05:00.000+05:30

My biggest turn off isn't unpunctuality anymore.
Nor is it the weight issues. Those few extra pounds.
Not the monotonous 'hmmm' and 'hello'.

No

My biggest turn off is when I know I can screw the exam in the first glimpse that I catch of the paper , I know I can totally bang it..

and yet I take over wrong values.

Just that.

I know the answer isn't right. I know something somewhere is wrong.
I check again. And I STILL don't find my mistake.

Entire solution wrong.

Of all the turn offs ever..THIS is the MOST annoying.

Reverse effect.

Its like the question paper telling me , it screwed me.

Mario , I tired saving your princess ; giving up all my lives.

2012-02-20T19:08:00.001+05:30

Its quite amazing how a video game that came into market about 20 years ago gives the same thrill of playing as it did a decade back in summers !
SUPER MARIO!!

I've been hooked to PS2 and Wii ..but there's something very unique about these old video games.
The sound effects..the levels...the tricks! They have their own novelty.
And the best part is despite so many years...you would enjoy playing it just as much.

Did you know you could increase the life upto more than 100 in 3-3 stage of mario ? :P
I didn't know that all these years :D

Then there's Islander , Circus , Pipeline , Tetris etc and its so much fun!
Specially if you're competing against the second player :P

Thanks to my kiddo brother..for reminiscing the good old indoor games.

Btw we even happened to play HIDE AND SEEK in college campus.
All the non players were quite bewildered as to what exactly we were up to ! :D

One should never 'feel' old to play outdoor 'games'.
Its super refreshing.

Chuck it.

2012-02-17T20:03:00.000+05:30

If what goes around , comes around...then whoever having the authority to make sure the chain revolves - is going to have a hard time deciding what to do of me.

Wasn't it a little too complex ?

I'm half guilty. For that matter , I do not believe I did anything wrong even though it would appear so in books. In words. In facts. In statement.

It wasn't rational. It wasn't driven with an intention to deceive.
So I might as well be forgotten.

Or maybe I'm already facing the repercussions.
And frankly , dearest 'authority' ; whoever and wherever you are ( don't like to drag 'god' everywhere ) - I do not have the energy to offset it.

Kindly ignore me for a while and then maybe we could have a nice fight once I've restored all the vigor.

Let me be a little happy , yeah ?

Irrationally Yours
Overly emotional fool.

I too had a Valentine's day!

2012-02-14T21:59:00.001+05:30

While there is contempt and in other cases mush regarding having to dedicate one special day out for love , parents , children etc etc..I personally feel such things don't hold any spunk . And I find it cheesy for those who celebrate. Specially Valentine's day.
I'm not one of those who goes by " Each day should be a valentine's day for your lover..."
Nor do I subscribe attaching importance to one particular day.

You love..you will love the same every single day. ( That is if you love. :P )
14th of feb shouldn't solely add any extra weightage to your love.

Having said that..I do not judge my friends who gift or receive gifts from their lovers specially chocolates on this very day.. ( partly because we are more than half the beneficiary of those chocolates :P ) ; to each their way of expressing love or whatever they think it is :|

So apart from taking custody of chocolates..there is the issue of handling bouquets too. Its obvious. You cannot con your parents into saying its a gift from 'friends'.
And it does kill to chuck a nicely decorated bouquet within a few hours from its receipt.
Therefore when my friend said she'll give away flowers to children..I suggested her to visit orphanage. And so we did.

Distributed chocolates and gave roses to some 20 kids in a orphanage near college.

Those kids immediately re-gifted the flowers to their caretaker :)

-- I've been on an over-doze of chocolates for 10 days now. And there's no aruging that chocolates do make you feel happy!
Also , I've observed , no matter which chocolate you eat ; those home made or rochers or basically any of those expensive ones....at the end of the day a 10 bucks dairy milk beats them all :D

Ek mai aur ek tu

2012-02-13T19:40:00.001+05:30

If you're bored..really very bored and have nothing else to do..

then maybe

maybe

you could go watch ek mai ar ek tu.

..To get even more bored :| huh

didn't expect such a slow casual movie which was supposed to be a copy of hollywood's what happens in vegas.

While there are people I know who have liked it..and I bet they liked it in little parts ( humor ) and so baring apart those few scenes which will make you laugh..*
this is essentially a movie you should watch for free.
And then , like I said - IF you are bored AND have nothing else to do in life.

* anyone rekon the dialogues ?
"par chopsticks mein kya burai hai ??" :p
Kareen's grandmom : "Shameless. Amitabh is watching you." Lol
The bathroom scene when Imran goes on date.

Imran Khan = blank face.
Kareena Kapoor = Jab we met hangover.

Time pass but not paisa vasool ;)

Twenty Two.

2012-02-07T20:40:00.001+05:30

Turning 22 couldn't have been any better. I had the most awesomest bday till date!
Right from the midnight bday blast in train with friends , cutting 4 cakes , dinner plan to the dvd having clips from family and friends wishing and making fun of me :P

Spent an amazing time with everyone in a short trip to Pune. Had gone for a case study competition ( which obviously was an excuse to go out and have fun :D )

Was awfully drained out on my bday due to lack of sleep and yet my friends coaxed me for giving them bday treat. Glad I turned in..totally made my day =)

Special thanks to T. You are the best!!

-- So 22 , huh ? Doesn't feel like.

I had a mental list of the things I wanted to do/fulfill.
The ticks haven't made their place in the list.
As every year...I reflect upon myself ..of what I am the day I turn an year older.
All I can say is - I take responsibility for my actions.
I do not crib and drag the same rugged topic over and again.
I have stopped blaming my parents for the decisions that I've made.
I've learnt to adapt to the conditions. I've learnt to be good.
I've let go off the things that weren;t important and consumed most of my time and energy.

And am all set to improve.
To become better and well eventually the best !

I want to make dad proud.
I want to keep pursuing what attracts me. I do not want my zeal to diminish.
I want to travel more with friends.
I want to keep smiling and laughing.

22 is big!! Haven't done anything significant in life yet..but I guess am on the track now :)
I'm writing quite randomly :D

One of the 4 cakes that I cut...lol :D

Float away

2012-01-30T11:40:00.000+05:30

I want to throw a bottled message into the ocean.

I want to wrap it all up , box it and throw away.

All the feelings together.

Just letting it go..letting it float away whichever direction it chooses to go.

And while I do so..I want to smile.

Smile that it expired.

Filtering any bitterness or indifference that has masqueraded itself ..tugging me every time I take a step forward.

You wanted to know how I feel about it ?

I feel nothing because I feel everything.

And so in this nothing and everything...I want it all to just float away....

Buck up!

2012-01-17T20:02:00.001+05:30

Lately I've been quite a mess.Lately is about more than 7 months.
All of it only proves how bloody fickle minded I am. Its probably the worst thing about me.
I had a tough time accepting and believing an assumption ..which again was nothing short of truth.

I had a disgustingly irritating time moving on. I felt sad , angry , longed , loved , stupid , hurt and every other possible feeling someone as childish at heart as me can feel.

I used to make a clear mindset , stick to it for a while and all of my pretense of being strong failed when I melted over heartwarming talks from someone I genuinely liked.

I really strongly feel the need of having a sibling of around my age at this point. Although that was something I always vouched for but knowing its impossibility ..I had adjusted myself with being alone. I do have wonderful cousins who are no less of really good and true friends I can trust my life on...but at the end of the day....when you hit the bed and have no one to speak to - you feel like the walls are going to eat you.3 am friends too , I have. But presence is important.That connection and bonding...that support I miss. And am never going to have it.

I'm absolutely sure that I wouldn't have been such an emotional wreck.

But anyway...there are better things to focus on. Better and great things to do.
I just tend to forget how wonderful I can make everything around me. Its just the matter of my attitude.
I tend to forget I am blessed.

Enough damage has been done. It has all been a waste of time as it always seems in retrospective.
And then its easy to put.."what if you already knew the outcome of your small actions". Its like the butterfly effect. Such little strings attached to massive movements.
I'm not going to divulge my time and energy over what ifs. Nor will I regret.

And most importantly..I will not allow myself to fall in the trap of feeling vulnerable.

My thinking process will have a lot to do with how I deal with this. And I want progress now.
Its creepy I'm going to turn 22 soon. I need to BUCK UP and for everything and everyone who have damaged me ..spoiled me..hurt me , I can only say one thing to you : FUCK YOU!

# long story in short.

2012-01-09T19:56:00.001+05:30

Give wings. Then ask not to fly

# Parents.

Some decisions are not regretful. They are just not worth it!

# Don't know what the F I was thinking.

opportunity cost and opportunity ; what ifs....

# college

seriously doesn't make sense AT ALL

# the way things happened. Life.

Not following dreams

# Finding hard to tap talent # WTF !

everybody seems to be a photographer

# All you need is a SLR

So laid-back..its indigestible!

# Missing college trip.

Making supercool plans. Superhot plans

( that didn't work ; that were not going to work anyhow.)

# confidence or height of hopes ? Adventurous maybe.

Not being a phone person

# in a Long distance relation or something like that ?

# Funny :D

Be thankful.For whatever there is.

# things not to forget.

Everything happens for a reason.

# Not EVERYTHING.Please spare me that nonsense. Thank you.

Is that sherlock holmes ?!?!

2012-01-07T19:42:00.000+05:30

I was a bit taken aback when I had seen the first installment of guy richie's version of Sherlock Holmes. I mean they really turned him into a psycho scientist !
Ofcourse witty - very witty who could only be outsmarted by one woman..Irene Adler.
But then I don't reckon having an image of sherlock holmes who would talk too much.
Or who would occassionally crack jokes and even appear dumbwit.
Nah!!
The detective is supposed to be charming..suave and sexily witty.

But if you talk of the MOVIE as a piece of art..its pretty fantastic!
The climax is amazing. So the credit goes to the story more than the one leading it.
The theme of storytelling and direction too is snazzy.

If you've read sherlock holmes..its going to disappoint in terms of characterization.Or at least give you a detective you don't know!
If you haven't read ( pity..you must! ) , then well just enjoy the movie :D

oh and I went alone to watch it ! :P I need movie buddies.
I think I might just add being a 'movie buff' as a prerequisite for being friends with me ;)

Draw the line.

2012-01-02T19:33:00.000+05:30

Last year has been very emotionally exhausting.
So many stories ..so many people.So much consolation.
Conversations.All those discussions.
They carry no points. They are like extra baggage.
Just like secrets. That only weigh you down.

I guess we all are just too apprehensive about everything.About emotions.Its all so hyped.

Everyone has their own way of moving on. But what I've learnt is whether you begin to hate the person or still love them...as long as there are hard feelings..you can never really move on.

I've grown tired of finding my answers. I've grown tired of reasoning.
I'm not sure if I was giving second chance to myself or the one on that side ?

Time to leave things behind. High time.

LEFT THINGS BEHIND.

Sure it feels bad. Its shattering. But then I reckon with these words .. time doesn't heal wounds..you only grow immune. And I'm waiting to gain my immunity.

--------------

New year's eve was 'nice' to say the least. Went to the same club for the third time in a row.
Wasn't so exicted about it. I can apply the concept of marginal utility.
Maybe was in my own world. Still better than not partying at all.

Am sounding like my pulse rate won't show any change whether there is something very good or bad to happen. Strange.

I cannot forgive or forget. I'm just drawing the line.

MI 4 : ghost protocol

2011-12-21T21:17:00.001+05:30

Some of the most kickass action sequences to be seen..and no its not just about chasing cars and rash driving. Or some fights. Its about monkeying on to the world's tallest building!
Superman act by not a superman.Deadly.

the first half is freaking awesome.

If you were to be anywhere in my vicinity while watching the movie..you would have heard 'omg! omg!!' every 15 mins. Yes that awesome.

The second half too is good. Except that Anil Kapoor's entry quite runied it. I guess watching an Indian actor in a hollywood ACTION flick , desperately trying his best to deliver dialogues in English and that while retaining and exhibiting the fact that he is an Indian actor or well almost playing a part/character that he would normally do in a bollywood film...well that can be pretty hilarious :D

A lot of action was not required , storywise. It felt too dragged. But then who says no to adrenaline ?

As it is these non-superhero action flicks stop making sense after a while.(logically)
- Like I couldn't quite figure out what the hell was that sand storm in Dubai about ? And how come it exactly and suddenly 'stopped' or disappeared the moment Ethan ( Tom Cruise ) stopped chasing the villain ? height of co-incidence ya ? :P
- They seem to have a lot of devices and 'international access' despite of the so called Ghost protocol :D

Tom Cruise looks old. ( of course because he is old! but you never want the most hottest looking celebs to grow old :D )
No stunt doubles! :O That's like double wow!
No hot scenes. ( Isn't that supposed to be by default ? :P ) Minus points for a action movie.
Good humor btw. Plus points.

Want an adrenaline rush ? Go watch it!

Driving isn't the only way you learn to swear.

2011-12-14T20:47:00.001+05:30

Perspective management. A subject that can make you swear irritatingly while studying to write for its exam.
A subject that makes you swear annoyingly even while you write its exam.
A subject that makes you swear wildly when you are done writing the exam :D
Perspective management ...!@#$%^&

Marketing.
Its strange how I never mentioned our marketing professor. Every girl in our college must be having a crush on him. ( If you happen to take a random sample :P )
This crush was first crushed when we heard he is married. And then it was awfully boiled over on hearing he has a kid too :P
It is not only his sharp face cut and attractive features..it has also a lot to do with HOW he teaches. And I must say..he is quite mind blowing :D
Maybe the only positive I would mention if asked whether I like the college.

IT is very very very unfair that exams are taking place :
1. during december..the month I love for no reason at all.
2. when seemingly good movies are releasing.
3. missed a couple of good movies already ( tin tin!! ) due to the so called PL [ preparational leave ] where no preparation actually happened.
4. ending on 31st.
No time to shop.
So how on earth are you supposed to enjoy a new year's eve party without a sexy dress to wear ?
Wait.
How on earth are you even supposed to GO to a new year's eve party without a sexy dress to wear ?

OK am digressing..

change the topic.

Its funny how your brain's capacity reacts to varying course content.
If you have to prepare for 2 units ..you automatically keep one for the 11th hour.
But when you have 6 units to prepare..you finish off at least 3 ..and interestingly quite fast :O

In short. Exams are cruel.

Gotto buy a gift. I suck at gifting. I'm horrendous at buying gifts. Not because I am a miser but because I don't gift halfheartedly :P
So tomorrow shall began with a gift buying expedition.Searching for the right can be cruel too.

Once divided..nothing left to subtract.

2011-12-01T22:34:00.001+05:30

I realized avoiding blogging or simply avoiding writing made me less sentimental.
I always had this urge to put down every emotion , mixed feelings etc.
I didn't feel the need much these days nor did I have the energy to type all of it. Good thing.

But there are some things I want to express because they have been an integral part. Maybe I'm overemotional - but that's not going to con me from stopping to write.

So you , listen to me now.

I'm dreading the time you will leave. I have been dreading it since the time we have been sipping coffee or eating corn together. Those long drives . Remember the day when you were going to fly to London and I cried liked a stupid ass. We were just friends then , right ? You held my hands , wiped my tears , pulled my cheeks and made me smile. That gesture just did it.

Now that those last few months of being with you are on their verge to end..and time being the bitch for slipping away tooo fast when I want it to just slow down , take a deep breath , maybe have a holiday - I have no clue how to react. How to behave.
Whether to show you my breakable side or to bid you goodbye with a smile.
I know I will see you again , after a couple of months ..maybe an year. But its not going to be the same. And we both know that.
But for now - I don't want to go through this phase. It is challenging. Can't face it. I want this phase to just come and wash away..hide somewhere.

I dreaded making memories too.
How do I subtract my daily routine of meeting you every evening , drinking coffee , being teased with your remarks on my weight , narrating you the stupidest incidents in college of the most interesting breed of friends ?
How am I going to see your reaction when I nod sarcastically on your serious scolding related to my studies ? :D
Who will be by my side the next time I faint in the movie hall ? :P
Who is going to make my day with that absolutely dazzling smile! :))
Code words. Check list. Cheesy talks.
Damn. We had hell lot of fun.

There is no feasible way we can recreate these moments. I wonder how many years it will be before we would again enjoy such time together. Whether we would , at all.

I recollected so many incidents .Its funny..we don't match. Right from pani puri likings to nachos disliking. From our movie choices to watch obsession.
The very fact that you can cook and me ? ....far ..far away from 'can' cook :D

We even ended up having so many arguments. But you always made a fresh start without even mentioning whatever there was that we fought about , which is why I don't even remember those conversations.

You inspire me. I'm absolutely in awe of your passion and desire to achieve goals. I appreciate how ambitious and focused you are.

I like the fact that I don't run out of things to talk about ; with you. How I'm never uncomfortable except for blabbering slangs in Hindi that you dared me to. :P

Exactly 15 days to go.

I'm going to delete all sad songs from my cell/ipod. They aren't helping my already shrinking heart.
And why on earth did the exams have to collide now ?
How am I going to manage ?

You know how I feel , right ? Its not so much about the separation as much as it about the question of being together , again.
What I'm really happy about is that - we've made an amazing friendship..
...and I hope distance doesn't dissolve it. ( dreading again! )

I'll try to be good.
Much love.

Extinct theories.

2011-11-27T17:47:00.000+05:30

Some concepts don't exist or hold strong ground anymore.

- Platonic love
For someone who believed in platonic love ..lust or as soberly termed 'expression of love' has scalped all such beliefs.

- best buddies do not fight.
They do.
They should not..but they do.
And the fight is usually a brutally cold argument.
Ego is a parasite.

- Perfect families.
There is no such thing as that.
It might be a by-product of a broken divided family. But then , can you call THAT a 'perfect' family ??

- Almost everyone hurts you.
Nope. You get hurt , all by yourself.
Cannot go around blaming 'everyone'

- Love people and they will love you back.
Nature doesn't provide such law.
You cannot force someone to love you back. No matter how many millions you love them.

beach & beer

2011-11-18T19:34:00.001+05:30

What happens in Goa stays in Goa. The hangover carries over though :P

I had visited Goa verbally infinite times. Every single person in my life has been there. So when I had heard SO much about it..I was a little worried it might turn out to be over hyped.
I'm glad I was wrong.

Because this place lives to its exact expectations and maybe even more.

I got drunk crazy for the first time. Got a high ..and I must say , the feeling is incredible :D
It took 4 vodka shots to make me tipsy ; I couldn't walk straight and I grooved to the music , not just danced ;)

We even went to Curlies , a place famous for doping :P
The trance music and 2 tequila shots with hukah made this partying evening a very different experience as well.

BAGA beach is awesome. Lined up with shacks and a stream of candle lights..the beach is beautiful at night.

I'm unable to express this short trip in words ... guess the best way to say it is that it was kickass :P

Been to the flea market as well. But didn't have time to shop. Instead enjoyed being over the beach all day long :) with beer and more beer :P

Its certainly not hyped. Goa is the best place to be at.Best place to party.

If you haven't been to Goa , well you haven't been to goa :P

Rockstar

2011-11-13T20:33:00.003+05:30

It could have been an ultimate kickass film had it stuck to the main theme.
While it essentially states that every great artist has gone through ( and so must go through ) lot of pain enabling him to pour down all his passion - the movie should have ideally been about love , pain and music.
It turned out to be about an inexplicable version of love , pain from the same and music too although the former two not being the main reason for the same ( music ) or so it seemed.

Because jordan ( ranbir kapoor ) already becomes quite a hit even before he could feel the pain of love
and when he does...his image is spiraled in a perplexed web.

The first half is extremely enjoyable. For its craziness , punch lines and the humor.

The second half is disappointing.

It is still a very different movie. Not typical bollywood. Interesting and shows you the kind of love you haven't seen or heard of , before.

Ranbir Kapoor has given a remarkable performance. And Nargis has played her part very well for a newcomer.

I wish it weren't so vague in the latter half.

The music is superb!

I guess the best is to not interpret this movie...it somehow doesn't make a lot of sense -- something's missing but it portrays a wonderful dimension of an overtaking emotion - love and loss.

Kaleidoscope

2011-11-03T20:33:00.000+05:30

Do you know what a kaleidoscope is??
You know those toys that are a tube that you look into and see a beautiful design and then you turn it...and it becomes a different design just as beautiful?
Life is very much like it. Just turn it a little and another beautiful picture is there...waiting....
So when you color all your relationships or the future on past relationships especially ones that didn't work out...then you are limiting yourself
So leave that one where it is...and turn the kaleidoscope for the next beautiful picture!

Don't make the person you meet and like...fit the 'your perfect criteria'...make him be the perfect person to grow with...and fit the criteria to him.

One of those wonderful things you ever said to me.
Almost 2-3 yrs back. I remember how I took time to reply and in fact came with no answer.
Today as I'm sitting and reading over the saved conversation...I realize how right you were!!
truth is..that's exactly how it works! I never subscribed to the idea of perfect person. Never had a check list or criteria.And now I totally relate and understand every single word of the most amazing simple things that you said.
I always believed that if I like someone , I'd like them anyhow. Not for any particular set of predefined elements. And am glad that's the way how it has turned out to be.

Sometimes you say yes

without scratching your head scouting for logic

without judging the consequences

without desperately searching for a reason.

And it gives a sense of relief to be able to do that.
Because at that moment...you know it came straight out of heart.

I do not know what the future holds. I do not bother. I don't know why I'm doing this.I don't want to know why I'm doing this. Because right now what matters is being together.
And all that matters is to love. without conditions.
Therefore , that's exactly what I'm doing.

my cuppa coffee.

2011-11-01T18:14:00.000+05:30

A lot can happen over a cup of coffee.

A lot has happened over a cup of coffee :P =)

Silly spoilt time.

2011-10-19T21:29:00.000+05:30

When I calculate the amount of time I spend on my emotional analysis , on silly things..I feel guilty of the time I lost that could be efficiently utilized ( -- two words you can start off writing any goddamn management paper :P ) to finish off my long due list of movies to be seen.

I'm currently in a very different mode that I'm not disliking. Not thinking much , just going with the flow.

Not that I've never been spontaneous..but you know that thing in every girl's DNA - the entire process of analyzing , over stating , getting hyper or whatever.. it sucks now!
I find myself stressed and upset when I think so much about things that will eventually fizzle out.

I'm not the kind of person who makes many resolutions.
But once I do , I bloody keep my words.
Every time I'm deviated , my system starts buzzing : wrong lane!

When dad asks me what do I want and I say nothing , he asks me again if I'm sure and whether I've made up my mind to never get anything from him.

I don't answer.
Although I'm aware there is still a long long time till I keep piling up the favors and debt. ..but why increase it unnecessarily ?
Once you enter the 20 league..every single penny spent on you by your parents gives a feeling of debt.Only difference , you've made no promise to return back in monetary terms. Obviously the debt is far greater to fill in with money.
But the point is - it starts pinching you.
Its a good thing I'm a miser. Sometimes I'm very proud of that characteristic :P

When I had a free choice to do what I want to do ( with hidden conditions and clauses ) - I got stuck up with my last plan. My backup rather.

There are times when I start wondering what the hell have I done. But then I remember what dad had said " you're grown up. Make your own decisions and take responsibility for them"

I must admit I felt quite insecure that day. Because decisions no matter whether I made or not - responsibility - I always thought someone else was taking care of.

But anyhow , I keep telling myself -

made a choice.

Now stick to it!!

Shocking.

2011-10-15T22:58:00.001+05:30

In the most horrifying incidents to have happened in the city , a 10 yr old kid was kidnapped for a ransom of Rs. 2 crore 3 days back.

He was abducted by the neighbour!! - a 20 something ruthless bastard wanting easy money to make up for his gambling loss.

The police had taken him into custody after reports of the kid being last seen with him. After 3 days , he confessed to having killed the innocent child.
The fucking loser made only one call after kidnapping.
The police was immediately informed and so was the media. Posters of the lost boy were put across the city.
Probably fearing that he might get caught - the bastard killed the kid within few hours after abudcting him. His body was dumped in a water tanker of an under-construction building , only 2 kms from his house.

The kid went to the same school as my brother. He stayed only a few meters away from our house.

can you imagine the plight of the parents of the little boy ? It breaks my heart every time I see a picture of his in the newspaper or at the traffic signals. He was such a sweet looking kid.

It is an unimaginable and awfully disturbing incident. The city is gripped with shock waves.

How can someone fall so low to MURDER A CHILD ??

The asshole could have gotten the money and left the innocent soul.

And can you believe it that a neighbor did such an heinous crime ?

The murderer's father expired today afternoon after heart stroke.
Their house was pelted with stones since morning.

The killer must be burnt alive. What a horrendous crime!

my heart goes out to the family of the child.
God give them strength!

jinx ?

2011-10-07T21:59:00.000+05:30

Is it common that things you are most excited about...most lovingly desperate about and badly want never really happen ?
Or delayed ?
Or just go kaput at the 11th hr ?

Its almost routine for me. Therefore , I make an effort in toning down that excitement and not think much about the 'plan'. .in some hope that maybe it does work out if I don't wish for it so madly!

Its a futile effort though...because you so badly want it to happen that you can't take your mind off it.

And once you start re-thinking it ...you lock yourself into the loop of wanting it bad again!

Tough nut to crack.

iLoss iRespect

2011-10-06T14:05:00.001+05:30

A tribute to the greatest innovator ...to the man who gave us most beautiful & amazing gadgets..

To the man who revolutionized the tech world...who isn't any more.
It still hasn't sunk in

"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything -- all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure -- these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma -- which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice."

RIP Steve Jobs!

Thank you for Apple.

Timing.

2011-10-03T19:37:00.000+05:30

I have a gut feeling that unless I learn to buy a gadget all by myself - it is not going to survive!

So I broke the touch screen of my x6 , again :P

Which stupid person on earth does garba while keeping the cell phone in one hand and clapping over it ? :P

I did :|

I had a great tiring dancing weekend. And I was obviously turned off for killing my cell phone.

Most of my friends and cousins think that I've become very self absorbed. I don't involve much in talks. I don't respond well. And the truth is I know that. But I'm not willing to do anything about it.

I'm very irritated and I don't have any specific reason for the same.And I'm not sorry for my behavior.

I want people to stop talking to me if they have issues with me.I cannot entertain complaints for now
because I'll be my old self again in some time.
I don't have the energy to explain. My mind's already quite screwed up.

Anyway..coming back to Garba..this time it was quite a disappointment. The crowd wasn't as rocking. The arrangements were annoying.

Its so weird and ironic. The things you always wanted to be a part of..you never could because there were restrictions.
And now when you have the freedom...you are not THAT inclined towards it.

Everything has a timing.

If you didn't make it then..you might as well do someday..
but
odds are..it will loose its charm.

So dance , dance , like its the last , last night you your life , life...

2011-09-27T20:43:00.000+05:30

...Coz baby tonight the DJ got us* falling in love again

( *with dance :P )

We had a ROCKING installation program at college.
Totally enjoyed the entire process.
Selecting songs..setting the dance , practicing and performing - in flat 2 days.
+ getting a dozen compliments and hooting :P

It was amazing! :D
We , the bunch of six , set the stage on fire :P

I took part in the fashion show as well. Our theme was Bikers !
That too was kickass :P

The arrangements weren't top class but then just being there..with your funniest craziest bunch of friends and class mates - dancing , enjoying...being appreciated...it just feels awesome!!

I loved it more when our effort paid off. Got lots of compliments!! Made my day!

Not just dance. I was even complimented for my dressing :P And that's a rare thing lol
If you were to see me on any other day during college and if you saw me last night - I had a total makeover :D

I dress very casually. Very. So the way I carried myself off last night was different , bolder and hotter :P

--------------------

I still remember you asked me what makes me happy ?
What I simple question!
I freaking couldn't answer that.I was blank.
I would tell now.
DANCING is one of those things.
Sadly it has conditions. I need a freaking awesome company to enjoy the same.

----------------------------

There's a joke among us friends.
I've become a tea addict. So the day I behave weirdly - they all go like
" Somebody please bring her - her drug " :P
One can actually sense a difference in my attitude after I have my
canteen ki chai ;)

--------------------------

We celebrated my friend's birthday with a luncheon treat at a sexy restaurant.
Yes , people ask me how a restaurant is sexy ?
In case of restraunts , sexy = great food + dashing interiors. When you go like :
WOW.
Where the hell was I and why haven't I been here before ?
This is THE place I'm gonna be at for a romantic sexy date :P

We visited an orphanage later in the evening. Donated clothes.
Its a nice feeling being with the kids..playing around with them..talking to them...making them smile..
but you wanna leave as soon as you enter.
There were a couple of handicapped kids. And it awfully pains to see them.I tried talking to them.But its hard to look them in the eyes and not sympathize.

You feel like someone just punched you in the stomach.

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance!
~Unknown

96 days ago.

2011-09-24T23:57:00.000+05:30

So far I know..nothing can possibly fill the void.

Irreplaceable

Nothing can possibly FIT for what has been left.

Just find distractions everywhere. Just try being a part of something funny.

It can be tiring.

And then I'm too fed up to do anything about it.

Got to make efforts

96 days ago.

My ipod notes read.

Ninety six days ago.

I wrote to myself.

That we always have a choice.

And I meant it every whichever way.

Come to think of it...its between

whether I choose to be sad.

Or I'm ready to look beyond.

Most of the times..state of mind is only but a

choice.

My choice ?? does a pendulum dance.

There's too much fooling around.

Fickle mind.

Maybe I just want to shut down for a while.

And reach one person who can tell me

What the hell am I supposed to do.

Or not.

What on earth am I supposed to feel.

Or not.

Damned.

Can we have something NEW ?

2011-09-20T20:12:00.001+05:30

I saw bodyguard yesterday. And I absolutely second someone's thought :
The next gen will make fun of us for making such movies. They will also find it hilarious that it was a box office hit :P

Its pretty funny actually. The fact that such movies are STILL made.

It seems like they found the script after 10 yrs. The concept is old. Its obviously predictable. And uh the action scenes : typical formula : The hero is never hurt. No matter what. He takes over ALL the villains. No matter what.

The only thing good about this movie is the music. And some might say Salman Khan.

But seriously..even for a love story..it hardly manages to be touching.

I won't even call it TIME PASS. Coz its such a waste of time :P

In your genes..or not.

2011-09-16T10:29:00.000+05:30

We've been taught. We've learnt and we see it - Everything can be earned by hard work / money etc.

However these five 'powers' must be possessed by default - which if I'm not wrong..cannot be earned or gained.

Exceptional talent.
There's no way you can move ahead in this mad world without an ounce of talent. Yes you need to work hard , I get that..but without talent..all hard work would be sloshed away. Its a mad world , remember !

Metabolism
There's nothing like a fit and healthy body. Infact nothing compared to having an extremely good metabolism. You get to eat all the junk on earth - yet you look all the same , all the time :P ;)

Beauty / Looks WITH brains
I keep debating whether looks are important or not. And yes while inner beauty counts and most of us feel we are beautiful inside ( why would anyone say that he/she is an ugly person ? :P) - the truth is - yes.. lets face it - looks matter.
But all looks..and no brains is such a waste ;)

Luck
I've never been able to fully decipher the concept of destiny and all that jazz...because maybe its for weaker hearts. Maybe only those people who see some hope in their otherwise screwed up life - talk about it all the time.( Like I do it..when I see no other reason for having such hopeless situations in life - and thus conveniently blaming bad luck )
But on the basis of random sampling ; picking up people's story from my life - Luck is that intangible magic which can change things overnight.
And sometimes when nothing counts - luck does.

And then..two most important things in life- Family and friends.
While friends can be 'earned' over time and you also get to choose them...there are only a handful of them who really really are your 'friends'. Rest of them just form the 'crowd' ;) in both sense :P
You never get to choose family :D
So another one of those powers you probably need to be born with - or rather born in :P

And its funny how it would all ultimately correlate to luck. Good friends , family , intelligence , looks , talent - they call you 'lucky' then :P

The mean blogger's 'examples' :D

2011-09-08T21:25:00.001+05:30

Ok so..I've never studied so much in 4 days that which I'm currently doing and its a real brain marathon for me because its roughly been a good 1.5 yrs that I tried 'mugging' for theory subjects that don't make sense - ( as in to write exams for )

I dislike muggers. Coz I for one cannot mug. And those who can - bloody score well :D

This entire relative grading system is sucking out all our energy. And the fucking outliers of the batch are making things difficult.

Anyhow..coming to the ever-going laughter sessions among friends...

It so happens that my friend sits right in front of me during exams.6 papers down I didn't help him even ONCE. :P I'm so engrossed in writing my own paper ( or in true words so shocked at the fact of being so screwed to unable to right 'non-mugged' answers ) - that I cannot pay attention to anything else.

6 papers!! And he says

"Kyunki har ek friend kameena hota hai " :D lol

My exam classroom has a glass partition, with the IT lab on the other side. My friend explains how he is able to turn back , ask the person sitting in the IT lab the question for which he seeks answer - and how the person - all across the other side of the room - tells him the answer. Lip reading.

And 'I' sitting right behind him - do not even whisper a word LOL.

Being the brat that he is - almost every invigilator have their eyes on him.
Not much of an excuse for me :P ...and now I'm known as MEAN.

Oh btw. Talk about examples. I always have something parallel to say when otherwise what is being said is completely understood.

The dumbest example :
Friend L :: You know even N ( extremely unsocial [underlined word - I'm really emphasizing ] in our class ) is on FB.
Me : Uhmm. really..its like how even vendors have cell phones these days :P

LOL. Shoot me.

So these days...whenever anything is being discussed , they holler
'Oye blogger..EXAMPLE chahiye :P'

:D :D

I have two more papers to write tomorrow. Grrr :|

Go.Jump. Fly.

2011-09-05T18:23:00.000+05:30

Wanna get wild. Do something spontaneously.
Pack bags & leave.
Get an adrenaline rush.Adventure. Thrill!

TRAVEL.

Take part in a competition and this time bloody WIN it.

Get over that 40% of stage fear I have. I hate it that I fret.

LAUGH.

Talk endlessly with friends. And talk different and unusual.

Be unpunctual and enjoy it. For once. The punctuality bug kills me at times.

Stop calculating & comparing the time required to reach a spot via different routes. I always keep debating what could be the better route to commute :P

SING

Breaks my heart to format the mass memory of my phone. Had ALL of my current addictions. Organized playlists for the songs that I listened to while I drove , at home , to dance and to sing alongside with full volume.

Ofcourse , I didn't have a backup. The day I plan to backup all the files is the day I delay - and the next day I find the device corrupted.Its like a rule of the great plan of backup.

I keep humming songs all day. AND I also hum the instrumental part - trying to create the sound by clattering my teeth or just voicing :P It irritates the crap out of my friends :D

DEJA VU

Its been a long long time I've felt that I've already seen something new - before. That fraction of second that puzzles your conscience. I want that.

CRACK

Give a kickasss exam & get all the answers right to analytical questions.
Theory is passe.

MOVIES.

Its my old ~~lost~~ ditched love. The art I heart.
Its stupid how I haven't gotten around to watching ANY one of those movies I have made a neat list of.

That's all I want for now. Not too much I guess. And maybe a good cam.
Yes , I have to be materialistic :P

Lets make it an easy exam.

2011-09-01T18:24:00.000+05:30

There is a mysterious force that keeps me glued to you.
That makes you my magnet.
That doesn't let me let go.

No matter how hard I try.

Maybe
I only pretend to try.
Because deep down..
I don't wanna let go.

** My story is not a love story.
My story won't have a happy ending.
It demands not to end.

Strangely its the imperfection that loops me into the cyclone of affection over & again only to be left withered and lovelorn.
Its the imperfection that drives me more to reach a point of a single moment that is perfect ; perfect bliss.

Unrequited love hurts.But the phenomenon of loving someone without being in love..without having a reason makes my story special.

My story concludes that attachment is a bad thing to happen & its a tedious task to write off the same.
A disease that has no medication except maybe learning to be immune.

Parallel story tells that time changes things. Time improves them too. And there won't be any hard feelings.
But until then I have to survive an amalgamation of butterflies & occasional heartbreaks.
I have to survive being selfish or being a fool.
I have to survive sailing through a storm.

And I might not even reach a beautiful island.I already know that. There are no promises , at all.

But I'm sticking to this because all my resolutions of giving up fail with one step from your side.
That doesn't make me weak. I guess accepting my defeat over you in itself makes it all the more easy.

Being so serious was never the plan. Its going to suck later - so why feel the pain in advance ??

I want to regain my humor. My story needs that.

But most of all - my story needs you.

Freshers.

2011-08-29T21:29:00.000+05:30

I like it when someone asks me out for dance - and even though I do not know how to jive..I still dive in the offer... Because I so so so wanted to ball dance :P

I like it even more that a preferably good guy asked me out for the same :P :P lol

And then...I like it much more that another good guy from class pings me & tells me that I danced good :D :D

Nothing like being complimented. :P ;)

Do I not sound excited ?! Truth is...I 'enjoyed a party after a long time :))
Danced to my heart's content...clicked lots of pictures &had a great great time!!

Thanks to our seniors for the party!
Good venue...awesome DJ ..and okayish food. :P
However , when it comes to rocking tracks & dancing - I really don't care about food. I eat dancing :) :D

Bring it On.

2011-08-27T00:36:00.000+05:30

Have you heard ...they say people who are devastated are quite funny on the outside.

I have one such friend. And although as little as I know of him - my other friend & I could tell there was something huge missing in his life.

Today we were proved right.

The entire situation is so numbing , I don't have words.

He's a gem of a person. Quite talented. Keeps making people laugh crazy with his antics & mimickery.

In two days something will decide whether he stays with us or not.

I'm feeling terrible. Helpless.

And in so many days ..specially since I joined college...this is first time I'm praying badly - that too for someone else.

He's also the same guy for whom we did not change our batch.Flat 15 days of friendship.

Serious- WTF- happens- in- life mode.
Bring it on I say , Life -- you - sonofabitch!

Sibling of music.

2011-08-22T20:13:00.000+05:30

People who can Sing are really privileged.

Its such an amazing talent!

Because practically everybody on earth loves to sing - whether or not they CAN actually sing

I hate it that I cannot sing. Coz as much as I enjoy humming tunes I like( that apparently aren't a pleasure to hear)...I wonder what it would be like to have the talent to sing.

Its so refreshing.

Har ek friend zarrori hota hai =) :D

2011-08-19T19:14:00.002+05:30

Love this new ad by Airtel.

Chai ke liye jaise toast hota hai
Vaise har ek friend zaroori hota hai
Aise har ek friend zaroori hota hai
Koi subah paanch baje neend se jagaye
Koi raat ko teen baje jaan bachaye

Ek teri kadki mein sharing kare
Aur tere budget mein sneak in kare
Koi nature se guest koi host hota hai
Par har ek friend zaroori hota hai
Ek ghadi ghadi kaam aaye par kabhi kabhi call kare
Ek kabhi kabhi kaam aaye aur ghadi ghadi call kare

Gossip ka koi ghoomta phirta satellite
Koi sath rahe toh kar de sab alright
Koi effortless koi forced hota hai
Lekin har ek friend zaroori hota hai

Chatroom friend koi classroom friend
Koi bike pe race wala vroom vroom friend
Shopping mall wala shopping friend Exam hall wala copying friend
Movie buddy groovie buddy

Hi buddy…. bye buddy
Joke buddy poke buddy
Gaana buddy shaana buddy
Chaddi buddy yaar buddy
Kutte …… kamine
Everybody… sab buddy
A to Z

Gin gin ke naam bheja roast hota hai
Par har ek friend zaroori hota hai

Awesomeee!! :D

Cash & Calorie rich.

2011-08-18T20:13:00.001+05:30

Heavy weekend , yet again.
Of course making me both cash & calorie rich.

Its almost becoming a family tradition now. When all the cousins are downtown - all we do is EAT.
Lunch at someone's place..dinner's at someone else's place ..so on & so forth. And in between all the time left - we talk , crack nonsense jokes , laugh on the same , click pictures & play cards!!
But most of all what I reckon is the fact that we EAT a lot :P

So apart from food ..what was special this time was our two hour session of Dumb Charades!
From movies like 'Aah' ( yeah thats a movie name..I found it in Google search results - after we were not left with many choices ) to 'Unns' ; the game was one hell of a laugh riot!

The best was when my sister was trying to explain ' Farishtey'.
She did everything to make her team get the 'Fur' part . She even enacted as an animal or something like that ?! lol :D
And despite all of the hints reaching to a 'material' - her awesome team members talked of silk , cotton etc etc - except Fur :D
Atlast..all she did was enact an angel ; circling her hand above her head :P
*Tubelight!!*

Oh and then..the most hilarious one was a movie name ending with Raat ; Mr. A blurting out all the words in haste ---- Untill he also said 'Suhagraat'
ROFL.

I mean , seriously...why on earth would we give that as a movie name for dumb charads ?? :P

And then we ran out of movie names as I mentioned earlier. Someone suggested to play Home Production i.e to create your own movie names! :D
Big B refused...citing example of how someone would explain a home produced movie name like :
"Is cheez ka tatparya kya hai "
Tatparya. LOL.

I also remember how my cousin tried explaining our team 'Ghatotkach'
Thats an animated movie.
He first gave us an object hint : Ghada
Then teeth > tooth :P
And from the combination of Gha ( from ghada ) & tooth - my smart team member yelled ' Ghatotkach' :D :D

I can't recollect more. There were soo many of them! And each of them made us laugh crazy.

That's my sweet little brother's gift to me :P I'm yet to receive a material gift , lol
But anyhow..this is obviously Priceless. :)

What happened. Something did.

2011-08-09T21:55:00.000+05:30

More of a statement than a question.

Things change.

I've lost the count.

So this is , lets say , the 'n'th time when things have changed.

And it makes me numb.
Absolutely blank.

When there is no analysis , no inference and no conclusion.
For all you know is that things have changed.

Its so bittersweet , I cannot smile.
I cannot weep.

There is the obvious sinking feeling inside. And everything farewell brings along with it.
And damn , it eats you.
Moreover the variables attached to the constants are already juggling and finding logic in my head.

But I must say at the end of it...I'm happy. I'm happy for everything. I'm absolutely sad about nothing.

And that in itself makes me more happy.

The story of a Marwadi.

2011-08-01T21:09:00.000+05:30

Part I :

Guests

More guests
And even more guests!

Brownie points :
Special food cooked at home.
Home would never look so neat & perfect in every possible way.
First class.

Turn offs :
Thrown out of your own bedroom to accommodate them.
The talks about what you do.
The impossible- to- miss-stares after you tell them what you do.
The calculation their heads are doing to define the appropriate time for marriage (of course for you) - which is anything less than half of what you might have planned for yourself.
Self-praise. Too much.

PART II :

Cultural Laxman Rekha

Thesis :
No night stays @ friend's place.
No partying.
Guys not allowed to enter home.
Talking on phone with guys restricted or nil in some cases.
Books are friends. Why hang out ?! :-|
Issue : Virginity , I assume ! :P

Brownie points : seriously ?? None what so ever.
Note : Most cases of eloping are a result of ones daring to cross this Laxman Rekha.
Most cases of guys getting spoiled too would fall in this area.
The more you restrict - the more boundaries crossed.

PART III

Marriages

Love marriage is an alien territory.
Typically the vices for our folks are :
Smoking. Drinking. Eating non veg.
And the fourth is - Love marriage!

The tedious ridiculous process in history of marriages : Arranged marriages!!
Check each other out. Read bio data. Interests and other such things.( Most of which are written just for the heck of it :P )
One hour of rendezvous.
Few days time for approval--- without going out on date or contacting each other!!
WTF !!

PART IV

Weddings

Turns offs :

Read Part I + pretense in every whichever way , in every whichever section.

Brownie points :

Get-togethers. Time off with cousins.

The various functions which don't make much sense :P but fun to be a part of.

PART V

Miser ??

Stereotypes are stereotypes.

Definite believer in : If you have it , flaunt it.

Reference : Diamond obsession .

Reason : Competition :D

Baring apart few , most of the rich ones live luxurious life et all. But they're misers in some areas.

Indulgent lifestyle.

PART VI

Family

Joint families > Quarrels > Partition > Nuclear families.

a. Nuclear forever.

b. Nuclear yet bond with extended family.

c. Nuclear , bond with extended family , relatives , society..etc etc :O

Joint families ? - Extinct species. Fun. Pros & cons.

PART VII

Religious Values

Don't question.

Just follow.

Believe.

( Personally I have no issues :P )

PART VIII

Passion

Business is in the blood.

Money.

Stock market.

-----

Overall ..business families. Highly conservative. Typical Ekta Kapoor serials in some cases !
They want girls to get best education. But to not work after settling down into another family. ( ???! )
Baring apart the unnecessary illogical immature social and cultural rules our folks have : Marwadis are nice people :P

I always warn my friends not to fall for marus. Life after marriage in marwadi family is kinda difficult :P

Battery dead.

2011-07-28T23:15:00.001+05:30

So its kind of obvious now.
I invite disasters.

Starting off with my latest experiment with my hair. Didn't go well. And yes I did the usual..went back to the salon..fought with the hairdresser , made complaints , went mad... except that I'm so tired of having bad results that for a change I'm absolutely not reacting anymore.
It still remains a sad story. Its hardly anything to laugh about , ok ?
But I will bring hell for the salon!

Severe changes in routine are misleading my appetite. I eat so much these days. Plus I've stopped going on walk. So its not balancing AT ALL.
I was rejoicing over losing an inch off my waistline. And that in itself took roughly 2 months. Now I see regaining just as much over 2 weeks :|
Body metabolism!! This is one god gift you must have :P

My temper issues. Its discomforting to me that I find myself not being able to work in a group. Yes I'm the over smart kind in that segment. I want things to be done my way. I want people to listen to me not because I want to dominate but because I feel I'm right almost always :P And as long as I'm being logical and fast-tracking work...people shouldn't be having problem with my suggestion. But eventually the biggest problem is that everyone thinks that they're right! :|
It turns me off when everything that can run smoothly and perfectly goes kaput.
Credit issues as well. Huh. Group work is testing my patience.I only keep telling myself to calm down.

My battery is kind of empty.

There's no energy left to be mad.

Zindagi Na Milegi Doobara.

2011-07-23T20:42:00.000+05:30

I just saw Zindagi Na milegi Doobara.
Its such a feel good movie!
The general perception is ..that the movie is about three friends going on a trip. But its so much more than that.

And no it doesn't lecture you what life is or meant to be. The best part is the movie DOESN'T PREACH.

No major emotional drama.Just a pich of it here & there ..and yet it covers friendship , love and most importantly - life ; without going overboard with any of it.

Loved all the shaayris narrated as background to the characters' foreground.

The movie name says it all.

Miles Apart.

2011-07-21T20:34:00.000+05:30

You can broadly divide the world into two.

> Those who can sing || Those who cannot sing.
I didn't say don't sing. They just CANNOT.

> Chocolate lovers || Chocolate haters.
My pity with the latter lot.

> More lately..HP lovers || HP non-lovers.
I belong to the second half. Don't shoot me first half.Its fantasy , for godsake!

> Facebook account holders || Facebook account non holders.

> iphone owners || Non owners.
Well they've rightly said it. If you don't have an iphone. You don't have an iphone.
FYI : idon't.

> Photographers || 'people who just cannot click!'
Sub part.SLR owners. Non owners.

> Movie freaks || Watching movies just for the heck of it / Least interested
Freaks = they'll go an extra mile in finding out bestest of movies from all genres across all countries. It does not include watching ANY crap released.So it ain't about the numbers.

> People who can dance || People who cannot dance.

> People who enjoy dancing no matter what || Boring nuts missing out on the fun.

> Book worms || ----- ( ???!!! )
This isn't about studies. I don't understand how some people do not like reading at all :P

> Love traveling || Hate traveling.
Latter one - another category I fail to understand :P

> Vegetarians || Non vegetarians
Sub part : Non vegetarians who hate vegetarians | Veggies who hate non vegetarians.
I don't see what's there to hate about what the other person is eating unless I'm watching them eat a killed animal :P

> Bloggers || Non bloggers

Mildly wild.

2011-07-15T22:35:00.001+05:30

There goes a saying/idiom...that my dad quite often quotes..

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.

Obviously the horse in the context is me :P

I have been too laid back & its time I do something about it. Although its pretty wicked to plan to do something when college is just about to start and I won't be having time :P

I won't say I thought..in fact this time I didn't think at all. But having been in the freeze zone for so long....

I just have this sudden urge to go wild.

To take up everything I have been ignoring. And to make changes.

Certainly something unusual. Now obviously I can't go skydiving here. Nor rafting.

So it doesn't have to be something huge or unique for starters.

To bring about the changes...I began with deactivating facebook. Why ? I'm not an addict. I don't play games on FB.I don't put status messages. I rarely comment. I don't like pages there either :P But I just like to know what people are upto in my network - which isn't so important. So I'm off FB.

I'm going to get something done to my hair. No matter how many people advise me against the same :P I'm super tempted to smooth-en my hair.

I went shopping & bought clothes I know I won't wear often.My friends have been constantly scolding me to change my dressing sense or atleast be a bit stylish. So I picked up funky stuff which I'm actually loving.

What else ? I'm being a good obedient daughter and reporting to kitchen in morning - on time :P

I've started reading good books. Not novels. Good inspirational motivating books.

And guess what ?? Of all the topics on earth - I discussed Love with a friend :P It actually got to another level. Platonic love. Physical Love. Lovelorn. Unrequited love. Death of a fully blossomed love! :D And before I knew it I was googling love quotes :D

I'm not a huge HP fan.I haven't read a single book. Watched all the movies though except the last part which I'm gonna watch this weekend.Almost 90% people I know are so sentimental about its end. I guess I would feel odd too when the curtain drops. Isn't it strange or mystical how so many people together connect and relate to a world of fantasy ?? Its as if its happening for REAL. :-| That shows books & movies are just as powerful as music.The three delicious drugs of life.

Oh btw. My favorite love quote happens to be a book title.

Love , a rather bad idea. All it gives is a hangover ;) :P

Idiot is Boxed.

2011-07-11T21:20:00.000+05:30

For the next two years I might only curse myself when I look into the mirror and question what the F have I done to my life.
But this time I cannot blame anyone except - myself.
( Somehow passing on the blame had become so convenient , I forgot what a scapegoat I'd become.)
So am gonna have to adjust to that.
I'm gonna have to adjust to the fact , and drink the regret/guilt that this could have been a prettier picture.

For an year I fought with my mind's innumerable voices..my indecision nucleus...and now when I'm concluding it - it feels so stupid I'd rather eat up the year gone by.

Its not so much about the time wasted or given...its about the final product.
What I did with it in the end.
And its killing.

I weighed my options so much and so many times that I killed every instinct and intuition there was to my passion.
It all just rotted while the time flew by.

But I guess its good enough that at least I'm gonna start doing something . I'm scared how it will turn out to be. I'm scared I'm not following what I wanted to. I'm scared that I'm jumping into a race.I'm scared I'm not going to a good college.

BUT

I'm just gonna go do it.

Because I'm an IDIOT.

An idiot who has vague plans to follow or do something about her big dream after 2 yrs!!

I'm mad with myself. Very very mad.

And I don't know what to do of my cousins.
They're supporting me like I just got myself into Harvard :P
How stupidly funny every damn thing is! :D

Phases || Drown OR Emerge || Value OR Blame.

2011-07-07T23:14:00.000+05:30

Moving on.

Worst & toughest.

But the best part is

having

Moved on.

Without bitterness.
Without any explanations and expectations.
And most importantly...without having to deal with the feelings coming back every now & then.
But that's a phase too. Apparently tougher to pass through.

And after having crossed that , we reach a

junction

where

Brews a friendship that is past all the disliking. All the issues and complaints.

And its so amazing , you realize maybe it was all worth it.

It was worth to have gone through all of it.And its definitely worth to reach this point.

Taking time off helps. Occasional full stops help.
However knowing the difference helps the most.

The full-stop -
is
not
the
end
of the
story.

Its
the end
of
one part.
Of one phase.

Just emerge
value
And
Commemorate
- while it lasts :P

Not necessarily so good.

2011-07-05T20:09:00.000+05:30

Delhi Belly :

Its GROSS!
I don't have issues with slangs & swearing ; nor for any of the 'adult' scenes but enough of toilet jokes man! It doesn't make me laugh! Its just too pathetic to laugh at.
The 'yuck'ness this movie is filled with is appalling. Among other things . . . quite explicit for an Indian movie.
I won't say its bad. But its so gross you can't call it good!
If you've been reading reviews - you must think its hilarious.
No. Its ridiculous. And if you have a cheap sense of humor - may be you'd like it.( I think most guys wld like it :P )
Its funny too though. Some laughs definitely guaranteed.
Warning : Obviously nobody watches movies with family members nowadays but this one in particular is a STRICT NO.

Transformers :

2.5 hrs for a English movie is a little too much.For an action movie far too much. For an action movie in 3-D far far too much :P
I know people have loved it. But while watching the movie I suddenly had deja vu : Terminator , Avatar etc etc. We've seen so much of 'destroying the planet' kind of action , so much of gunshots , aliens , machines and all that - there comes a saturation point.
There are a couple of really amazing scenes.And that's all. Doesn't find my liking.

Invisible stupidity

2011-07-03T21:14:00.000+05:30

One feels small & a little unfortunate for getting trapped in mediocre thinking. For being a victim of society - mainly the 'issues' with society and everything else I only like to describe as 'blah blah blah'.

I mean Fuck it goddammit! The problem isn't who cares or who doesn't nor is it when someone makes a fuss...the problem is why can't we live a sensible lifestyle. Mentally. And culturally too for that matter.

I feel most of the religious sentiments & cultural protocols came into being due to our ancestor's own insecurities. Why it is to be carried & tortured over generations is out of my logic.
And I wonder why nobody breaks it.

Don;t you think its too much rubbish that hovers over our thinking and entire lifetime planning ? It could all be pretty simple. Love & live. With nobody predominately deciding what & whom to love ; nor how to live.

Being caged in ridiculous cultural obligations despite having a comfortable life is the most unfortunate thing. And you would know it only when you were made to go through it.

We are so backward about being forward.

I'm just a lil less than mad.

2011-07-01T19:49:00.000+05:30

I maybe vulnerable

but

I haven't lost my mind.

Some things just don't feel good no matter how great they seem.

P.S : Since you don't GET IT - Screw you !

Apple Analogy

2011-06-29T19:47:00.000+05:30

Human beings should also have been a product of Apple. That way no matter what amount of crap you try downloading in your life , it'll never enter your system. And what cannot enter your life..can never harm you either.

We are more like Windows. Too much problem in the software. Truckloads of virus. And all we do is keep installing anti-virus which too isn't very reliable. You never know when the system would crash.

There's only one thing we don't do. Formatting. Erase ALL the bullshit along with the pretty pictures & start afresh.Clean slate.
We wouldn't need it either if only we were Apple made :P

And there's more plus to Apple. The products look dazzling :D
All of them :P :D

Ok I know its a stupid analogy..so at least don't counter it with gender issues ! lol :D

June fiasco.

2011-06-25T20:08:00.000+05:30

I can't pass a day without :
Brisk walking.
I feel terrible for my body if I miss working out even one single day.

My sin this month :
Scratched Micra.I was probably imagining that the car would easily squeeze itself to pass through a small lane with two cars on either sides , lol
I scratched it from both the sides on two such similar imaginations :((
I feel so so so bad but I don't exactly know how to compensate for it.
Its like..until the time I wasn't working out - I wouldn't shop. And just a few days back I decided I'm gonna go on a wild shopping spree.( Since I've been religiously exercising ) But looks like a colorful wardrobe is in danger for now.
Not shopping is my way of penance.

My new priced possession :
My sexy fossil watch. I LOVE it.

Gadget update :
Its sad & funny. My cell phone met with so many accidents , it fractured all its limbs. It was hospitalized & it is recovering for now. But you know about hospital bills , yeah ?!
Plus right now I so badly want a new digi cam - BUT obviously I'm not gonna get one.Not with my poor record.

Turn off of the month :
Wasting printing paper. I hate it when something unnecessary is printed or there is a slight error in every one of those 50 pages that you print - which then you need to re-print.

What I missed :
Kung Fu Panda 3-D. Like crap?! Why did I have to choose X-men over it?!

We always have a Choice

2011-06-20T20:30:00.000+05:30

One of my favorite quotes or dialogue or whatever you may call it comes from the movie Spider man!! ( of all the things on earth! )

When Peter says :

Whatever comes our way, whatever battle we have raging inside us,

we always have a choice.

It's the choices that make us who we are, and we can always choose to do what's right.

Do we , really ? Always have a choice ? And who knows about right or wrong. Its all relative , right ?

But those very words always ring a bell in my ear. "We always have a choice"

Just a day before , I was finding it difficult to digest something. To get over something. And I kept sobbing because I couldn't find any other way to channelize my helplessness.

And today while on my brisk walk ( I've come to realize my walk always brings good thoughts )

I happened to have found a solution. Or my choice.

I don't have to get over anything. I only have to change my mindset & look things through beautifully.

Strange as it may sound...an easy choice is always the one which has too many branches - of sympathy , of dilemma , of doubt , of confusion.

A relatively tough one is what looks unsettling but brings you utmost ease.

I found my ease. My comfort. Without any sort of pressure , guilt , regret or sadness.

Isn't that great ??

Yes , we do have a choice. And it matters & changes things from what we choose.

I tend to forget how easy I can make things if I make an effort. Its always tough otherwise.No matter how much anyone would make me understand.

Laughing at lil tragedies :P

2011-06-18T23:52:00.002+05:30

Friend D :

You are one of a kind. A species like the 'mobile phone' repels you!

Friend Z :

Don't you sometimes get the feeling you might be adopted ?

Friend R :

Sad yaar. Ladki sahi hai. Bas galat family mein born ho gayi.

Friend T :

Why are we such idiots ?

Unlocking Rules

2011-06-17T17:14:00.000+05:30

Its good to spill the beans.

To have someone who grasps the meaning of your words exactly how you imply.

Who doesn't read between lines.

Heck. Its liberating to share secrets. Even though a secret doesn't remain much of a secret once shared!

I was wrong when I thought I can deal with everything by talking myself out.There are chances you could hypnotize yourself as per your convenience. Or worse..make yourself miserable.

Its always better if someone worth knows what you're up to. They can stop you. They can back you.They don't judge you. They guide you.

I may have lost my capacity to be rational. But I know 'you' will always support me. Thanks a lot buddy!!

Galactica Cyclone

2011-06-14T11:39:00.087+05:30

Kuala Lumpur

First thing I noticed : There was a clean divide. Either women wore hot pants or burkha! :P
And 80% of them belonged to the first category.
I felt out of place for not wearing hot pants :P
The great privileges of traveling abroad is that you can wear anything & yet not feel uncomfortable at all! I cannot imagine trotting across the streets in India wearing shorts -- without being ogled & stared at voyeuristically. Tsk tsk.

We lodged ourselves in the Sunway Pyramids Hotel. Spent a day at Sunway Lagoon - a water park. Its 1/4th that of Water Kingdom :|
I'll let the pictures do the rest of the talk ;)

Hotel room. The best one in the trip. :P


This mall was inside the hotel. And I attempted ice skating + managed a good record : fell only once :P

View from the hotel room


I need a new cam! Oh yeah !! :(

KL tower

Twin Tower. Missed the night view.

Cable car ride to Genting.

Genting is a time pass place if you ask me :P A hotel with 6000 rooms. Indoor & outdoor theme park. Casino with mostly machine slots :|

I enjoyed the roller coaster ride. It gave me a headache for the rest of the day though :O

And this is the tower ride. Falls down fast. Looks breathtaking & scary. But nothing of the sort that would make you scream your lungs out if you did it.

Singapore

Spent hardly 2 days in Spore. I did NOT shop Didn't get the time to.(except for buying a super sexy Fossil watch :D ) And I don't understand all the hype about shopping in Singapore. Its mighty expensive!! + you could find a lot of those brands right here in India.
I was looking forward to street shopping & bargaining ! That would have been fun! But we just didn't have time.
Spent a day @ Universal Studios! Its AWESOME! Amazing roller coaster rides.
4-D Shrek show.
'Revenge of the Mummy' - An unpredictable & superbly designed roller coaster.

Galactica Roller Coaster

Singapore Flyer.

Sentosa is huge.Saw the famous laser show ' Songs of the sea'. It was pretty great.

There isn't anything unique or special to mention about the places I visited. I would have liked few more days in Singapore. There was a lot to explore!

All in all a very tiring trip. Never opt for multiple city/country visits for holidaying. You loose all enthusiasm to click pictures :P

I need reminders. These thoughts I put on Snooze!

2011-06-01T21:15:00.001+05:30

Lots is happening all together. On almost every front .And as much as I'm excited...as much as I'm hurting...as much as I'm confused...

...I am also trying very hard not to over think .
Not to wonder too much.
Keeping all the thoughts locked.

Because for once...I want to only live the moment.
No What IFs involved. No assumptions what so ever.

Its stupid...I'm stupid to get sentimental & attached about everything & everyone. But what I've learnt is..you move on! From friends..to people..to things...you just move on! ( not that you have much of a choice!)

So regardless of whether things may or may not happen . . .just focus on the present. That's where all the value of the moment is. Not so much while replaying it.
After all moments are not memories. Memories are past moments.
Instead of thinking about the WHAT IF's ..why not just be there & dive into the current happenings ?! Coz thinking & wondering only makes things worse - not so much harm for the analysis but for the time that you swap away from the present.

And it would be a shame if I did not learn to obediently live by that simple & most stated yet underrated phenomenon : Live in the moment. Commemorate!

Yes there are people who inspire me. Not necessarily extraordinary people. But ordinary people who are special in their own ways .

And if I do not change , it would really really be a shame.

*** I'm off for a home-away vacation! I needed a vacation from my vacation :P
Hoping to have the time & energy to pen down my travelogue while on the move.
But first - I need to pack my bags!

'Extra Attention'

2011-05-25T22:41:00.001+05:30

Its tough to impress dad. I don't make much of an effort to get noticed ..but somewhere I'm desperate for him to appreciate & acknowledge ONE damn thing that I've done or that I do.
OK I'm aware there isn't anything *very* impressive about me either . . .but only so much for my creative inputs!!

I still follow what he says...'you don't need certificates from others..you need to certify yourself..that's more important'
But I demand to know what harm would a little active encouragement do ?

And he asks me why do I need extra attention ?!
Booom boom boom!

Of all the things that I dislike the most is that he NEVER appreciated my music skills.
My music sir may praise me , tag me fav & talented student ( which I genuinely feel is an exaggerated form of encouragement ) but dad ?!?

NEVER!!

Whats more annoying & hurtful is when he declares I'm yet to have proper sense of music.
Where as I'm good enough! I know that because I can feel it in every beat of my heart when I play it!
I know how to play , what speed to play with...and I can harmonically balance the taal and raag. That's what sir has always appreciated me for!!

Agreed..I stopped giving music exams. I haven't learnt a new raag since two years. But I still enjoy playing whatever I've learnt. And I am pretty good at it!

Damn.

I've given up on this episode though. I avoid touching the piano or harmonium when he is around.
I like to play when I'm alone. Without any listeners. Without being judged. ( Except if its appreciated :P )
Just for myself.

Wow! And do I even need to mention the power of music ? Its splendid!

Leave the leftovers.

2011-05-23T22:33:00.000+05:30

~ Never get sentimental with guys. Its just not their cup of tea!

~ You give great advice. Only problem : 'you' never stuck to it all your life :P

~ Your friends really 'understand' your way , the complications you web around when you least expect them to.However they just don't GET some simpler to understand issues you put across.

~ One must have a heart-to-heart talk once in a while. It doesn't guarantee a solution.But the entire matter suddenly seems to be washed :
shot ,
dead
&
into the grave.
So much relief!

~ Never interfere in a verbal fight. If you cannot stop the feud -- at least do not attempt to pacify. The quarrelers can deal it their way ; in whichever way & get things back to normal without your help.

~ Its OK to be a bitch sometimes. There is absolutely no need to apologize.

~ When there is no guilt . . . it doesn't necessarily mean something done/said was not wrong.
Likewise , when there is guilt . . .it doesn't mean something done/said was not right.
Right or wrong doesn't matter sometimes. Nor does guilt . If you've strongly felt for something - just do it & be content with it.

~ Procrastination is like diabetes. No cure. YET you keep hogging on the sweets.Its only after you have a mild heart attack that you realize you must really get into action.

~ Haven't read anything compelling since ages which with its words would holler "Lets get lost"

~ Chocolates are freakishly therapeutic.

Pyaar Ka Punchnama ;)

2011-05-22T23:24:00.000+05:30

First of firsts : Girls are not like girls made to see in the movie!
I agree there are the ones who JUST want to shop & who bicker ALL the time.
Then there are also the ones who treat guys like puppies or turn them into one.
And the third kind who change boyfriends like buses :P
( In fact at numerous instances I personally felt the urge to slap the three girls in the movie since the guys weren't doing the same :| )

But not EVERY girl falls into the above mentioned categories.
But anyhow..the movie really is more about the 'space issue' that today's gen face. And how a guy's single status beats the mingled one :D

The movie is FUN! The dialogues are hilarious. Although most of them mock women or woman's behavior . . . but given to the storyline & situations..it all fits too well!
The trailer seemed too promising. The movie does slack a little in the 2nd half. . . but there is no way you can miss out the 10 minute monologue from the character 'rajju' ! :D Its freaking funny! :D
I liked all the male actors. Very natural with the acting.
Just go & enjoy this movie!

---------

I also happened to see Pirates of Caribbean : On Stranger Tides today itself :D

Jack Sparrow is all you want to see this movie for!

Not much of action.

And story..well who cares about the story of fantasy-adventure films anyway ?!

For my Soul Sister

2011-05-19T18:54:00.000+05:30

My dearest Sugar Free . .

We've come a long way...

...from playing hopscotch to fighting to secure the 'queen's chair' on dining.

From forcing you to eat sweets to skillfully coaxing you to reveal your secret shopping places :P

From the endless jokes that we cracked to the inexplicable conditions we never complicated.

From the secrets that we shared to the trust that we built rock solid.

From my non stop grumblings to your endless patience.

From our mutual complaints to that smile & charm that never diminishes your zeal.

In between and among all this... what has always remained untouched & uncorrupted is our

unconditional love.

And I just want you to know that -
You are not just my sister. You are my soul sister.
I heart you. I miss you. And I absolutely love being around you.
The bond that we share is overwhelming.
There are no explanations ..and no demands in our relation.
Silence between us is comfortable...
Wait....for that matter...there is NO silence when we are together :P

I like how you console me.How you never judge me.
How you never give up on my rants. How you always manage to make me smile.
How you take my place of being 'elder' and support me.

Its my previlege & great luck to have you in my life.
Stay the way you are ..always.And also always stay with me :)

And please learn to be punctual :P

*** Happy Twentieth Sugar :)
Won't force you to eat cake today :P
It'll truly be your sugar free day :P Giving you just one opportunity in the whole damn year ..:D
make the most of it :D lol ;)

Love you lots :))

No time for time

2011-05-17T14:04:00.000+05:30

3 days without the internet and it feels good.
I had no time. And I like it when I don't have time.
Playing monopoly till wee hours in the morning.
Watching the A.R.Rehman concert live. ( poor arrangements :-| )
Eating as if I was starved.
Straightening things out.
Making efforts to be good .
Pretending to be happy.

Almost in a state of trance.

Sometime long back...someone said to me that losers blog. Losers who are frustrated in life - blog. I'm one of those. I;m that loser who likes to blog out all her ire & grumblings. I still don't get it what sort of pleasure I derive from the same. Sometimes I feel maybe I should STOP --- If you're writing something , then it shows that you've been thinking about it. Giving it time. So why give useless over -thinking any time??
But expressing in some form just makes thoughts float better in mind.Its like my mental recycle bin , which I visit from time to time to recover trash. Or for the better - to completely erase it from the system.

I don't always write to be read. I write because I want to be heard by someone other than me.It makes me feel lighter.

I spoke to dad. He thinks somewhere my thinking process is going terribly wrong.
I agree with him . And I'm fighting to correct it.
Huh ...damn...again trapped in writing what should not be written.

Anyhow ...people drink alcohol when they're sad , depressed etc. Or when they party.
I have had numerous opportunities to get drunk. But I haven't done that...because I want to be euphoric when I drink.

Fast & Furious 5

2011-05-10T20:48:00.001+05:30

Dubbed English movies are outrageous , silly & an insult something known as 'translation'.

However the wacky dubbing can be hilarious.

Dialogues from Fast & Furious 5 >>

"Ek baar mai commitment kar do..toh phir apni bhi nahi sunta" :P LOL
The entire audience was in splits !!

And then the usual chahu , mamu and bheedu that went on and on and on...

What is wrong with the people who dub ??
What is wrong with INOX to not have ONE English show of a Hollywood movie in my city!!
WTF !

Anyhow...coming back to the movie minus the dubbed dialogues - it was really fast and furious ;)

I've been a fan of the FnF series. But I liked the 4th one a lot more than the 5th insatlment.
The action is crazy in good ways.The story is crazy in bad ways.
In fact..don't even think of the story. It makes sense but its highly unrealistic with too many errors.
But then again..action movies are always unrealistic.
No complaints though.
Awesome visual treat.

You have an affair.

2011-05-08T23:09:00.000+05:30

So I finally went to the thumb print guy.
He tells future and such crap after taking thumb print.
I say 'crap' because..it really was ridiculous! But it had to be the most funniest conversation I've had with any future teller so far.

First they extract some information. According to their 'shastra' , everybody's future was written some 3000 years ago on leaves or branches. He picked two bunch of these 'leaves' which looked more like thin wooden plates scribbled with a South Indian language.
They asked random questions ...or made statements which I had to agree or disagree.

"Are you muslim?"
No
"Your father married twice?"
No.
"Had any operation?"
No
"Abortion?"
Hell no!!
"You're having a affair"
No.
"Sure?"
Yeah..pretty sure! I don't!
"Had an affair??"

*Giving the I- thought -I -was- here- to- hear -about- my -future look*

"Ok..you're bday month is Sept Oct Nov or Dec"
Nope.
After some time..
"Bday month is April May June July Aug"
No!
After some more time..
"Bday month is Jan Feb March"
Yeah

*Like I should be surprised :P*

"Birth date falls before 20."
yeah
"Falls before 10th"
Yeah
" Its on the 5th"
No
"6th??"

*You really think I'm gonna jump in joy for getting that right?? Probability dude!!*

"You're 22."
21
"You're studying"
*LOL.. as if that would have been hard to decipher. You must have calculated that a 21 yr old must be doing her graduation. But poor you..I'm already done with it.*
Done with it.
"You're doing nothing right now"

*Really ? lol*

Nope
"You're tensed and worried"

* Like seriously..anyone can tell that!!*

yeah
"You have an affair"

* You're slow man! I said No already*

Nooo

He asked my friend to go sit outside and then he again asked me if I had an affair , lol.
My reply was the same. So he asked "Nahi hai ?? To affair karne ki iccha hai ??"
*rofl*

Few more questions here and there...no in fact a lot of questions here & there after which he rightly told my parent's name! ( I'd only given my name ) I was wondering if they have contacts with the passport or license department ..wherein they just give away the thumb print and get all of their 'I'm gonna surprise you' information. :O

Coming to the actual prediction part . . . There's hardly anything I'd like to believe. Or atleast only the part that I liked. But I'll filter everything to mention his funny analysis :
" You and your husband will fight a lot. Very much."
He must have said that at least 4 times.
"But you won't get divorced"
lol
"He'll start drinking in 40s"
*I was wondering..so late??*
"You'll be very suspicious of him"
In the end , he said " you'll live a satisfied life" :D lol which is such a contradiction to his above mentioned statemtents! I tried too hard to keep myself from laughing.

HOAX.

It was worth the money though. For entertainment :D I'm really jobless !
I maybe making fun now...but who knows? His entire prediction was recorded and a copy of the CD was given to me :O
I was even told that I had some previous birth sins ! :P

But yeah I had gone to him with high expectations . . .I was really desperate to know something good.
Don't question my belief in such things. My dad is the best future teller. However , its ironical he never says anything to me!! I had started wondering if there was something majorly wrong written for me. Which is why I went to this thumb print jyotish. But I've made a resolution I'm never gonna ask for it ever again!
Except that I must really dare to ask dad :O

Mojo

2011-05-04T20:51:00.000+05:30

If I were asked to choose between time machine & magic , I would choose the latter.

Firstly - Not that I don't intend to have a sneak peek into the future but that's something I will get to see anyway.

Secondly - I don't want to go into the past. I may regret a lot of things and wish to change lots too..but somehow I'm not too sure making any changes would have made much difference.

Magic it has to be for me. I'd mould things right in my present ...the way I want...to assure a reliable future.

.....

Silent Shouts

Tearless cries

Beneath them reside

A volcano of lies.

I agree , understand and very well know that everyone has problems in their lives. Much bigger and gruesome than my own. I mean , heck yeah , but I don't care.Why is this point raised anyhow ? Just because people are carrying all the tension in the world on their shoulders - is no reason why I should not get rid of mine.

I've reached a saturation point.And I need a closure.

Message Log 7

2011-05-02T20:48:00.000+05:30

Girl 1 : I'm in love.

Girl 2 : who is he ?
Girl 3 : how does he look ?
Girl 4 : how tall ?
Girl 5 : What is he doing ?
Girl 6 : Who are his friends ?
Girl 7 : Total wealth ??

After full inspection.
All girls : Be careful..he might be a bad guy!
Girl 1 : Ok

Same situation.
Boy 1 : I'm on love.

Boy 2 : Bhai party!
Boy 3 : Bhai party!
Boy 4 : Bhai party!
Boy 5 : Bhai party!
Boy 6 : Bhai party!
Boy 7 : Bhai party!
:D

---------------------

A guy sitting outside his home after divorce and notices a crate of beer bottles.
He takes out an empty bottle , smashes it into the wall swearing
"You are the reason , I don't have a wife"

Smashes 2nd bottle
"You are the reason , I don't have my children"

Smashes 3rd bottle
"You are the reason , I don't have a job"

Notices 4th bottle is sealed and still full of bear.
"Stand aside my friend , I know you were not involved" ;)

------------------

Some translations in Hindi you're surely love :D

Yo baby! Wassup?
> Arre munni...upar kya hai ?

Listen buddy , that chick is mine
> Suno dost , wo murgi ka bacccha mera hai

Are you nuts ?
> Kya aap akhrot ho ?

Rock the party baby!!
> Patthar maro , jasn mein..bacchi!

Lets hangout !
> Chalo bahar latakte hai!

-------------------------

Friendship between Girls
A gal came home late and told dad she was at friend's house.
Dad called 10 of her friends but all told she wasn't there.

Friendship between Guys
A boy didn't come home one night and told dad he was at friend's house.
Dad called 10 friends
8 confirmed he had slept at their home and
2 claimed he is still there.
:D

Source : My inbox!

I want sci-fi to be real.

2011-04-30T20:53:00.000+05:30

So there comes a point - when you just have to helplessly look beyond , believe the unbelievable and live with the pain.Even when at this particular stage..you can't really feel the pain. Not that you've grown immune to it...but are realistic enough to lock it away & face the void.
Face the void.
Face the void!!
Huh..something that I absolutely dread.

But I believe ..no matter what ...its never really difficult to deal with any damn opera in your life once you make yourself easy. Unless you do that..there is no way you're finishing the mind & heart game.

What a gamble! My dad always says emotional problems don't have rational solutions.
If only . . . I could hire someone to get into the brains of few people and seed better thoughts!
Inception style.

You don't need drugs.

2011-04-23T20:54:00.001+05:30

Best company to have when there is no company :

i pod!

> It doesn't bicker
> It doesn't gossip
> It calms you down
> It makes you forget everything else.
> Great booster for brisk walk.
> It channelizes your anger. ( extremely helpful for me :P)
> You listen to it and even when you slip a few words - it never gets mad at you. Also , it replays :P
> It listens to you too..in a way. All of your mental notes.
> Never to get bored of. Never!
> F--k , it makes you happy. Simply!

:-) Ok I don't even need to mention I'm hyper at the moment :) :D

Three things I'm absolutely lovin right now :

3G Internet connection ( Finally able to view streaming videos!! Earlier I had to wait a good 10 mins for a 1 min video to buffer :O )

Nissan micra ..sexy snazzy car.. love driving it ;-)

Brisk walk with ipod plugged in.

** Someone posted on FB - "You don't need drugs to make you feel high"
Someone else replied " True. Your dreams are enough"
:-) And I want that feeling. I want that chase.

Dexter

2011-04-22T19:44:00.000+05:30

I'm SO hooked to Dexter!

Initially when I watched it - it grossed me.
> FBI and police crap. We've had too much of it from Americans , haven't we ?
> a blood pattern analyst who also is a homicide!
> Blood , butchering & blood.

Despite all of the above..I kept on watching it with my interest gradually inclining.

Now I find the show quite 'amazing' :O

If I could give you one thing in life, I would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes, only then you would realize how special your are to me
- Dexter morgan

Policy Matters

2011-04-17T23:18:00.000+05:30

Its not about 'giving and taking' for me. Its about 'gifting' with 'love'. There's a difference there. Its not an obligation. It comes out of affection. Also , I don't expect anything in return.
And even when I do not gift something to someone close..it doesn't make them any less closer to me. I just haven't found the best for them yet.

I can tolerate liars. I'm a liar myself...a harmless liar.
I just don't like being deceived. I distance myself from people I suspect of deceiving.

I forgive. But I do not forget. And I don't trust again.

I understand my friends cannot always be there for me. I don't hang around like an albatross around their neck for that.

I have an obsessive compulsive punctuality disorder :P I just loathe it when people don't turn up on time.
I hate it when I turn up late too at some rare occasions.
Being punctual has becomes one of my 'policies'.

Dormant.

2011-04-13T20:32:00.000+05:30

You were alone. You are alone. And you will be alone.

Learn to walk alone.

Been given that piece of advice long back. It has only started to sink in my head now ...now when I'm going through intense swapping behavioral , mood and personality changes.

Now when I'm so indifferent , so rugged , so tired ...that all I wish is to go away and really for once..live alone.

At this point. I could trade anything.'Coz I have nothing to loose but only a cloak of these inflexible thoughts overlapping my true self.

I've lost it. Any leftover enthusiasm that there was.
Battling against and for god knows how many voices inside me.

I miss being me.Specially a part of me...that made efforts to comply with her wants.
Who never refused taking calls..chatting..texting friends... shopping....watching movies.
Who liked disturbing closed ones.
Who now..doesn't talk much. Doesn't feel like talking much.Doesn't grumble. Doesn't want to grumble.
Instead has made herself excessively rude.
Whose friends & parents are not too happy with these fresh undesirable traits.

Someone truly read me right - I've lost the child in me.
And strangely I don't even have an urge to go back to being what I was.
I don't feel like praying heartily. I only sit in front of the idols staring at them for some sensible explanation. For enlightenment.For magic.

I'm THAT passive.

Life's Good when You're 'ME'

2011-04-10T12:00:00.000+05:30

Life is certainly good when you're my brother!
The most loved and pampered kid in my family. And not just by parents and sibling...but also equally pampered by all of my extended family. He has this magnetic personality..he draws people towards him and once someone knows him - its hard not to give him any attention.

On the last day of his school ( KG-II :P) - all the kids were given mementos and he was tagged
' The Knowledge Bank'
His teacher was all praises for him , saying he is very bright and has so much knowledge apart from what is taught in school.
Now , one of the rare occasions where I fight to take credit is THIS!

Who do you think taught him shapes and colors even before he went to school !?
Who lectured him about pollution and explained terms such as 'oxygen' and 'carbon di-oxide' ?
Who tells him about planets , spacecrafts , rockets , satellite and airplanes ?
Who answers all his doubts ?
Who takes his math test once a week ?
Who taught what multiplication and division means ..already ?
Who helps him write letters ?
Who taught him to see maps ? Who pointed out major locations across globe for him ?
Who does he ask interesting questions ?
Who explained him the difference between 'dreams' and 'imagination' ?
Who does he confide into ?
Who does he share his mischief in school with ?
Who does he talk to about his girlfriends ? :P lol

Agreed he has super genius brain cells , an ever expanding question bank...amazing retaining capacity which is why teaching him different things has been so much fun.Also agreed ..no matter what I teach him...he confirms the same with one of my parents every now and then :P -- But the truth is I've taught and discussed many many things from different topics over the years and my contribution to his knowledge has been immense.Of course , anyone in my place would have done the same. Any of my cousins would have taught him with same enthusiasm.
But since it was Me - I'm to take the credit :P

The best part is his interest and curiosity. You should see the spark in his eyes when you tell him something new which for him is 'out of the world'. I absolutely love to see that! I love how he communicates.

I may have been a scolding sister ( as he recently called me :D ) but I have loved him and I still love him more than he can imgaine. I apologize to him once in a while for scolding him and he says its Ok :)
The other day I said him that I love him infinite and scold him only a few lacks. He said NO! You scold me crores and you love me infinite! lol :D
He makes me smile.
Whenever he sees me upset..he comes and asks me with pleading eyes what is wrong with me. I say nothing. And he hugs me. Such beautiful moments..its tough to be upset :P

I have been blogging for a few years now and I've mentioned him only a couple of times. That's because there aren't enough superlatives available :) and no matter what - I can never express how much he means to me.

My kiddo brother - I love you infinite raise to infinite ( No idea where he got that term from :P )

Incomprehensible

2011-04-08T23:03:00.003+05:30

I find myself debating whether it is important to let people close to you KNOW

how much they mean to you....

will the 'essence' of that relation drain out ...

will its importance fade away ...

will it not seem so worth once you establish its worth ?

Why do we have to pay so heavily for priceless relations from our emotional account ?

Why do the most wonderful equations with the most wonderful people become complex ?

Or are already complex. Right from the beginning!

Ok lets chuck that. Whether it is important to express or not.
What eats me in and out is that - Why do we lose out on the relations we love the most ?
Why do they fall apart ?
Why are they complex ?
Why do you have to let go something you've held so close to you ?

Maybe you can never hold it. Its like sand..the more you try to grip it in your palms..the more it slips away..

Strangely ...there aren't any complications where you least bother ..where it doesn't matter whether you lose out or not. Everything sails smooth.
And even if things don't go well - it f***king doesn't matter!!
I despise Irony.

I'm robbed.
The engine of my emotion has failed.
I'll earn again.
The engine will be repaired again.
And I'll be robbed again.
The engine will fail again.....

M.A.D

2011-04-06T18:59:00.002+05:30

I volunteered for a NGO - MAD ( Make A Difference ) - to teach kids English.
Yes , the same MAD which made its presence into the print & news all around - courtesy Mrs Michelle Obama.

Its a very structured and organized NGO which focuses on one prime issue - to teach English.
Moreover most of the volunteers are a bunch of college going students. In fact, the president of my city's branch is my junior!

I joined it in July with a kick-start of a two day teacher training program and our classes began in August which ended a couple of weeks back.
We were required to give 2 hrs a week.I went to my centre every Sunday. We were six of us teaching 8 kids per volunteer.Our centre has school as well as hostel.And its on the outskirts of the city.

Due to the 5 day gap between our teaching sessions ( 6 other volunteers taught the same bunch of kids on Sat) - we could not manage to cover the entire syllabus as we were required to. Most of the kids could read & write English ..also speak a little but their basics were still weak. Infact after a few classes we realized the students of grade 5th & 6th had a lot of trouble. So we seperated the ones we thought needed more attention & brought them all under the 'primary class' whom one of the vounteers & I taught together.

It was very evident - their learning was all about mugging. They bothered least about how much they could understand for all that they cared about was to copy everything written on the blackboard as fast as they could! What shocked me more was that some of the kids among these 16 ..could write the spelling of 3 or 4 letter words but could not write all the alphabets in proper order ! We spent atleast 3-4 classes on just getting their alphabets right. Gradually we moved on to teach basic words and sentences most commonly used. Teaching for 2 hrs straight and that too a language they barely understood did get boring for them. So we made them play a lot of interactive games which they absoultely loved!

We were always treated like superstars. The best part was their eagerness and willingness to learn. And of course there were some very bright kids. We were not supposed to give them any sort of incentive like chocolates etc. Instead of that we gave books as prizes when we kept competitions. Also we took with us English newspapers & children magazine which they read with all enthusiasm.

We were never partial with the kids but I always found myself giving more attention to the weakest ones in the class. I remember Rishi from 5th grade who started crying after he couldn't write a single word in a dictation & all the others were making fun of him.I felt so bad - first I scolded all the others and then I made him smile . He has the cutest smile :)

Once two kids from centre once ran away. One of them was in the primary class ( 5th grade )
Also last heard a 15 yr old girl went back to her parent's place and was to get married. Sad , no ? She was very talented. Singer!
Oh yeah..we had a couple of dancers too! All self-learnt!

Ok back to the point. We weren't biased and we were treated like stars. And the kids had their favorites too :D A couple of girls has grown very fond of me. There was this one - who would always compliment me for my dress. Then the other one who wanted my cell number but we had strict instructions - No contact outside teaching sessions :-|

But the best part of it all comes here : There were some of the kids I never got a chance to interact with. And on my birthday - whether I was their fav or not ..whether I ever spoke to them or not - they made beautiful birthday cards for me :-) It was just so sweet of them to do so. They sang birthday song for me loudly and I felt like I was back in school :D What fun it was! That was also the last day we taught them.

Today as I look back & write about being a part of Make A Difference...I wonder if I made little difference to even one single kid out there. I hope I did. And I wish them all a very bright future.

How to Kill Boredom

2011-04-05T18:30:00.001+05:30

Most ridiculous suggestion ever :

GET MARRIED !!

I'll shoot the next person who says that to me.

I've found it funny so far..but now its really getting insulting :-|

Off color. Balloon vigour.

2011-03-22T16:44:00.000+05:30

Holi = Water Balloon fight!
A ritual started last year which I believe was fun - the kind of fun you have to pay for in the form of pain.

The balloon shots hit hard.I couldn't lift my hands yesterday. My arms were paining so much. :O
And I don't know why I was targeted so much by our very well accomplished balloon hitter.

I think last year's balloon fight was more fun. I really wanted to play more with colors this time. But somehow that didn't materialize.

This year's Holi was unique though. Because we not just played water holi but also flower holi! :D

-- I've lost my appetite for blogging. Felt mandatory to make a 'festival entry' since I almost always do that.
And that's that. Nothing more to ~~say~~ write.

The moment of momentum

2011-03-13T23:31:00.000+05:30

Its as if I've got a personal undisclosed disguised messenger who has finally done its job...with no instructions from me but a secret wish that it took over & delivered.

I feel so relieved today. Its that sense of freedom. Like someone snatched all my fights in one single stroke. Or maybe just put a timely end to them.Either ways..my wait has paid off. The trash is scrapped. All the basic stains are removed. There's a clean canvas to paint on. And there's a bright picture in my head :)

A good beginning ...or in fact only a beginning in itself is a kick-start & a promise to a journey.
I would hault but am sure I'm not going to stop now.
I was worried if there would be a beginning at all since my basic obstacles were difficult than all the other problems I expected to sprout.
Now there's the route , means & destination that needs to be zeroed in , for which I've gained much more momentum than I ever thought I would!

I'm excited. And whatever in hell makes all my excited plans go kaput be bloody damned ! Because I'm bloody going to make things work.This very time.

There's something called hopes & wishes after all.That very thing that I've been breathing on.
Its time to LIVE.

Point of view ON Point of view.

2011-03-04T20:06:00.000+05:30

One thing I absolutely HATE about discussions/arguments/debates is when the opposing party isn't even willing to CONSIDER your point of view. I mean..fine..you might be right.You might be absolutely right but that doesn't make the other person absolutely wrong. Trying to prove them wrong NO MATTER WHAT - is annoying and foolish. Countering points is one thing..but not wanting to even see things from a different angle only shows how narrow your perspective is.

Although in a debate , one never really wants to consider the opponent's view. All they care for is to prove their side correct which is bearable.You could go to any lengths to prove something even when you don't believe in what you're saying.

But in healthy discussions and arguments...you must utmost consider the other person's VIEW exactly the way it is put up.No interpretation.No reading between the lines.Just the way it is.
However , more often than not..I find people losing that central theme.
Discussions are meant to broaden your perspective.Its kind of a way to check through all the pros & cons in case you're wanting to make a decision. Or in other cases..it only amounts to a spectrum of thoughts you might hear for the first time.But then...the ego factors comes in. One would never take back his own words of wisdom :P

Most of the times..when we have discussions about common or general topics..I do maintain a take on it.And I may also agree to several points the other party has put forth. In the end..it makes my judgment/ views neutral and lying towards the core issue.I've never been on far ends of anything. I don't like to have extremely strong and rigid opinions. You've gotta be flexible ;)

--- On that note I'd put down my views on Firangi Music which I've been wanting to for quite some time ;-)
There are people who listen to English songs because it makes them cool.
Or because that's what most of the other people in their life do. Or atleast that's what you can sense from their behavior :P

What I believe is that -
Listening to English songs or watching English shows/movies won't make you great ...but IF you're not ..then you're missing out on something great :D
That's what I've realized since the time I've been listening to videshi songs :P
Secondly...When you say you love music..or any other form of art..you must explore it as much as you can.At least within the languages ( in case of music) that you understand.
As simple as that. What do you think ?

Just listen to me

2011-02-28T21:17:00.000+05:30

No dad. I don't feel special. The only thought that I have in mind is that I SHOULD be special.
Its running in the family blood , isn't it ? The brilliance...the intellect...

You don't compel me to take up something because you don't want me to be in the rat race and yet you don't help me decide my own race.
Its only unfair..to be your daughther and to not be doing something special.
Its only unfair to not have the ability to tap over my own talent , if at all there's one.

But you say..everybody's got talent.If not , its in nature's law to provide you with one.And that I must , at once , stop blaming the background & environment from stopping me. But isn't that the whole point ? Having no goal being the biggest obstruction in leading towards the goal ?
What train do I catch , when I do not know my destination ?

You also say that I still don't have to do get into something just for the heck of it. That I must do something I strongly believe in. Let the talent grow in me. I cannot counter that because that's exactly what I want. To know what I'm not just good but great at...and then take the leap.

The wait is testful. You ask me what's going on in my mind ? What's preoccupying my thoughts? Why do I look so stressed ??
The answer is simple : I'm not happy.
I'm not happy..not because something's wrong but because the one thing that should be right isn't there in the first place - Passion with talent.

You say I have so many resources..everything is so easily available..money isn't the issue either...and I do know how to use all of these catalysts. What I don't know is what I'm to use them upon!

I'm willing to take chance on something I still don't heavily believe in ! And I'm praying for that belief , intent & instinct to flood in my veins - so that the little doubt that's left would also vanish.
I;m willing.
But are you ? Would you let me ?

I can't see myself this way. I'm not talking success either. Not about money..not about identity.
But everything about living and living only to do I shall love.
To be able to look into the mirror and say - yes I deserve life.

How do I explain you ? How do I ever explain anyone ?

7 Khoon Maaf

2011-02-22T20:38:00.002+05:30

Two Words : SAVE YOURSELF!

Its difficult to imagine why anyone would want to make a movie on such a story. And even if he does..why did he not think of twitsting it a little so that it makes sense ?!

Its very dark.Very gross. And pathetically predictable.

Also the fact that the murderer isn't a psychopath or lunatic .. makes things all the more difficult to understand. Why not get a divorce , simply ? :-|

Priyanka Chopra has acted very well.
The song 'Bekaaran' sung by Vishal Bhardwaj is awesome !

And that's that..otherwise its an awfully disturbed movie.

Oh btw..I couldn't figure out who the 7th husband in the movie is :-|

The one who left.

2011-02-15T19:58:00.000+05:30

I thought she already left. I had just woken up from a lazy afternoon nap. It was almost 4 pm. She must have left an hour ago ..I thought.
And I couldn't even say goodbye ??
I was trying to comfort myself with the fact that I had to say no goodbye and that it saved me all the emotional hurt. But then...it felt incomplete. And somehow I wished I had never dozed off.

Just then , I heard her voice. I rushed downstairs to catch up with her.

She hugged mom & mom hugged her back. I don't remember if mom's ever hugged me like that in so many years. I wasn't feeling jealous of that. I just couldn't take it.
That she had meant so much and that she was now leaving.

She sobbed and kept on expressing her gratitude , mentioning how mom had been a mother to her all these 5 years. And that was it. I started crying too. I know goodbyes are always difficult...but I didn't know I would cry for her. She wasn't my friend. I guess she was a lot more than that. I cared for her in my own strange way.

She didn't come to me to hug. I wanted her to. I didn't go towards her either. I was waiting for her to say that she would miss me too. I don't know what it was. But I felt obligated to let her know that I would miss her.

Mom gifted her a pair of gold earings. She is getting married in two months. She was leaving for her hometown and she wouldn't come back again. I cried more. My little bother promised to write her letter and requested her to reply. She smiled her smiled.

At the door , I hugged her and asked her to take care. She cried again. Then dragged herself out without saying a word more and went away.

Back in the afternoon I was wondering not saying goodbyes was better. It hurt after-all.And it felt void. I wondered if it would have been nice to not be there. But the void was filling. You have to put the curtains down after every show. And this part would have been left incomplete if I would have skipped it. I was going to cry anyway. So why not with goodbyes?

Some people become such an integral part of your lives even when you would never expect them to. Our maid is an year younger to me. She has been very faithful , loyal and easy going.No complaints ever!
At any point of time , she had better idea about the things in my house than I myself did! She was a great helping hand to mom and has been an important person even for my kid brother. She has raised him too , in a way.

I wish her good luck. I pray she remains happily married.

Thanks for everything. You'll be missed.

Coke Studio & Strings

2011-02-11T21:00:00.000+05:30

I've always had a thing for Sufi music. There's something so powerful & magical about the flow of this great genre that it touches not just your heart , but also your soul. If there;s anything at all EVERYBODY on earth relates with , loves no matter where it comes from - it is music!
And Sufi , folk & classical music ; for me just takes the cake!

I'm glad I was introduced to Coke studio + Strings! They've delivered some of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard and always have been craving to hear. How on earth did I not know about these all this time ?? :O

Current Addiction :

1] Nahi Ray Nahi

2] Titliyaan

3] Aankhon K sagar

4] Jal Pari

5] Khamaaj

Awesome , aren't they ??

I'm on my exploring spree now.

Ye saali Zindagi : At 21

2011-02-07T16:57:00.000+05:30

I turned 21 yesterday.

I did not make a fuss about having to celebrate fantastically.Maybe that's the reason I did get to have a fantastic day.

I did not cry even when it wasn't planned to be all that. I'm really a loser when it comes to 'not getting things done your way'. All I do is sit and cry. I have overcome that crumbling rubbish.
Somehow that makes me proud of being 21.

I did freak out and my sister saved all my anger. Amazing patience she has! Thank you!

Its a bit funny to watch a movie titled ' Ye saali Zindagi' on your birthday :P Seems so apt.
Crazy movie btw , I liked despite all the gutter words :D

I received calls from people I didn't expect and did not receive from the ones I expected.
And somehow I was least bothered about this piece of crap either .. I mean wth ?
Why should it matter when the ones who matter made the whole day matter ? ;)
Oh and I did not take few calls too. Some drama I was upto :O

Keeping your pulse rate normal helps. Not being too hyper or excited just makes everything sail smoothly.

Accepting whatever comes however it does- was a difficult feat for me to conquer. I've always nagged , cribbed , sobbed about little things. But in the end..you don't really wanna be a spoilsport for yourself. It cannot get worse - You being the reason for your unhappiness.
Attitude towards life brings can make huge difference to your general perception :)
I've learned to accept. Surreal changes in ye saali zindgai :P

I wore a 'cute' dress :D Clicked pictures. Did NOT order cake. :-|
But much to my surprise the cake arrived by itself. My sister made it for me! :D

It doesn't feel like I've turned 21. I still feel 17 because I'm still immature , I still freak out crazy and more importantly I haven't grown any taller :|

My bday gift is still due.Was in no hope to receive a 'surprise gift' from parents. Did not get one either.
I'll just ask for it at the right time.

Damage Control :P

2011-01-28T18:11:00.001+05:30

I hosted the party thrown to celebrate my sister's recent achievement - She cleared her CA final exam =)
This was the first time I got the chance to be at the center stage. And I'm proud to have managed pretty well :D

To make the party interesting and more fun...we decided to dedicate songs to our family members.

To my grandmom..
'Hum sath sath hai...' :P

The couples..my uncles and aunts..and my mom dad were dedicated old love songs.

'Ae meri zoharzabi..tujhe maloon nahi '

' Kya khoob lagti ho..badi sundar dkihti ho'

' Tera mujhse hai pehle ka naata koi...yuhin dil lubhata nahi'

' Aankhon mein teri ajab si ajab si aadyein hai'

For my aunts ( dad's sisters ) -

Phoolon ka tarron ka..sab kehna hai...ek hazar mein meri behna hai

Cousins :
Just married - ' Tere mast mast do nain' and 'Tum jo aaye zindagi mein..' :P

For my brother ( first cousin)
"To the most eligible bachelor...."

Bachna aee haseeno .. ;)

"To our fashion sensation.."

Fashion ka hai ye jalwa.. :P

For my darling sister.. [ The one who is a Chartered Accountant now ;) ]
Few days back she told me how she always wanted to be a choreographer to which I was like :O what ?!!
And then we thought why not reveal this secret desire of hers to everyone ? :P
So I announced and let the cat out of the bag :D
But..there was a problem. The song didn't play.
..to which I was like " Ok..looks like the song skipped.. now thats quite a secret"
And before I knew it...I sang for her :D :D
Damage control :D

Dance pe chance mar le..

Then she dedicated a song to us sisters.

Tere jaisa yar kahan...kahan aisa yaarana :)

Next..the best dedication :P --- to this cousin of mine who talks with such etiquette & all that jazz...that his usage of hindi words can absolutely stump you :|
" Agar aap inse baat karenge ..toh lagega ki aap kisi shehenshai duniya mein pohoch gaye.... when you talk to him the background music would be something like this.."

Aazim-o-shaan shehensha :D

lol..he was darn embarrassed :D
( And the idea was mine ahem :P )

To the Wikipedia ( this guy can talk about anything!! and you cannot beat him with his knowledge update!)
' I'm the best..I'm the best :P'

Last to our youngest lil brat

'Bum bum bole..masti mein dole' :D

So much fun!! :D
Oh yea..the food was awesome!
This was one of the best family get-together :)

Zodiac

2011-01-19T20:11:00.000+05:30

Now they're talking about the 13th Zodiac!
As if twelve kinds of people weren't enough ;-)

I've never been intimidated by sun signs. It has been ages since I stopped reading horoscopes based on zodiacs.For one..the English & Hindi calenders are different. And sun signs only reveal personalities. They do not foretell your future.

Have you ever noticed that two people belonging to the same category of sun signs might have diagonally different personalities ? Or they might be like two peas in a pod.But its never wholesome. Its never 'equal' for ALL the people associated to that particular sun sign.

Consider this -
Do All people belonging to the sun sign , say Capricorn get a job together in a stipulated time as the zodiac horoscope suggests ?
or do ALL of those bunch of people get married during the same phase ??
NO.
So how does it makes sense to 'know' your future that's not exceptional to you ;-) but instead given in a generalized form.
Its actually quite funny if you see it this way.
There are only 12 categories and millions of people belonging to each one of them.
The possibility of the same thing happening to one such particular group together is very low.
Logical , ain't it ?

I'm an Aquarian. And I like being one. That's because I've mentally associated myself as being an Aquarian. And now since the rumours of a 13th zodiac entering the cycle has surfaced..my zodiac would accordingly change to Capricorn but I wouldn't accept that because I only like being Aquarain ;) Its a long time ' connection' and a hard one to break.As simple as that.

My zodiac doesn't tell my qualities.
Or to put it the other way round - my qualities , strenth & weakenesses are not based on my zodiac.
Its me , who I am as a person that makes all the difference.That makes me who I am.
Not the sun sign.

Kite Flying Trial and Error

2011-01-17T20:13:00.000+05:30

And I still haven't learned to fly kites!

I did try though and thankfully got 'sufficient' number of chances unlike otherwise.

My 'idiot' cousin who was flying right next to me..cut off my kite...TWICE ! tsk tsk :|

--- Best way to have fun on birthdays is to attack everyone through snow spray :P

Graphology

2011-01-09T21:13:00.000+05:30

You lie A LOT.

- First thing said. Spontaneously ; on viewing my handwriting.
True. I do.

You are emotional. And you debate a lot between your mind and heart.
Well ... we all are emotional.
The second one is true.

You don't want to get committed right now.
Spot on :P

Not so good with multitasking.

Umm ok. I cannot focus on two things at one time. If that's what it is meant to be ?
True.

Not much of a traveler.
Don't get much of a chance :-| But love to.

But you do not like traveling for mythology/culture sake , say you'd chose Goa over Khajiroa Temples.

Heck ! Anyone would!! :-|
But I'm too much into historical places. So if it were Goa VS Rome/Greece/France , I'd go for the later one even if I was supposed to travel alone. Historical places in India would be second only after Goa.Sorry :P

You build on your ideas based on previous ideas.
:-| okayy...( not creative huh ?? )
No its a good thing..meaning to say that you prefer finishing one task before you start another. Similarly for the ideas.
Ok :) ( I need to think on this one..am not sure if it holds true for me.)

You do not argue 'much' with your parents.
I cannot.
If I could , I would have.
But I cannot.
True , anyway.

Don't get into business.You'll do awful.
Oh what ?!?!
Yeah AWFUL.
Ok..am gonna get my handwriting changed by then ;-)

------------------------------------------------------------------

So that's one of the quite talented co-volunteer I had an interaction with. Its amazing he told a lot of things about me only by viewing a handful of my handwriting.I had heard of graphology but I thought it would be quite general.Not so impressive. However , this guy really surprised me and I guess he would have told a lot more had we had the time.
One of his friends even put a FB status 'Stay away from M. The guy can really freak you out'
Lol..seems like he's pretty good with this stuff.
The best part is that this guy doesn't know me too much personally. So his interpretations were unbiased.And like I've mentioned , quite true to a large extent.

Next thing I know..I'm going to this man who tells you everything seeing your thumb print :P
Belief no belief. Doesn't matter. Its good as long as it isn't freaky. :D

Rewind

2011-01-04T14:29:00.000+05:30

What a waste of time, the thought crossed my mind
But I never missed a beat
Can't explain the who or what I was
Trying to believe
What would you do?
What would you do?
Do you know?
I once had a grip on everything
It feels better to let go

I'm not over
I'm not over you just yet
Cannot hide it
You're not that easy to forget
I'm not over When will I ever learn ? Why is it so difficult to let go ??Emotion is a paralyzing bitch. -------------
'D' used the term 'relaxingly Jealous' I like that.
---------- PAINTBALLhappened on Sunday. Awesome fun.Made up for my long due exciting and unusual weekend promise. ---------
And yah , I was right. A lot did happen pre and post new year.
Starting from playing around with Frisbee or 'indoor cricket' :P
...to ringing in the new year at a supposed- to- be- an -awesome- party that which didn't turn out to be so good *
....to my brother's birthday celebration.
....to the unending discussions and bloody night outs that made us owls.

* The soul of any party is the DJ. And if he chooses to play clubhouse music ( on a new year's eve party for crying out loud ??) - he's ought to get a cold response.
the DJ couldn't hold the crowd together , nor could he add magic to the dance floor :-|
Sad.
I danced for a much lesser time in comparison to my energy stats.
ate the best hot brownie ever!
And wore a sexy dress. Feel-good factor ;-)

Year end is always eventful - both the sexy and bitchy ways.
I like Decembers.

Key words.

2010-12-28T15:42:00.000+05:30

I broke the screen of my nokia x6 :| Its cracked coz I stupidly kept it on the desk , quite close to the edge and it fell after a slight touch of my own hand! I'm worse than a diaster to my cell phone. I just can't handle it right , can I ?
My mom said to me that I shouldn't buy cell phone at all. And even when I do - not one costing more than 5k.
Others are making fun too.And I've been laughing along.
But the truth is - I feel very pathetic about it.
My cell's working in parts. Half the touch is working , and the other half is dormant.
That has saved all the tears so far.

Somehow I've also formed a new theory.
My phone was jinxed.
Zee never liked me buying it. She told me I should have got a BB.
And she has been constantly asking me to sell x6. Looks like her wish is soon going to be executed :O

Anyhow..this is certainly not how I would have liked the curtains to drop for this year.I've been tagging it as the worst thing to happen to me.
but hey..a joke there too. "Not yet...4 more days to go."
Ya right , as if am gonna break it into two pieces.

But ofcourse , there's a point.
4 more days to go.
And a lot can happen.

Rewinding this year minus the 4 days to come.. here's a snapshot of the things I reckon the most , of the lessons I will never quite learn :P

Each word is a key to locked stories which links to other doors.
Its an ocean of flashback for me.
A lot of keys haven't been put in this box. I don't have the energy to edit this now.As simple as that huh

Click click from X6

2010-12-17T21:43:00.000+05:30

Hell and Heaven

2010-12-13T10:16:00.000+05:30

Hell & heaven are two most commonly used words or phrases.
On an average cursing involves sending someone to hell as if it were allowed and feasible by law.
And heaven covers picturesque beauty , scrumptious food , chocolates , friends & all the stuff that one finds pleasant.

Now coming to the actual meaning of these two imagined destinations , popular mostly through various religions which define them exponentially - there's a hell lot of stuff that you gotta be knowing!

So I'm quoting through my religion.[Hindu] One of our religious books which I read a couple of months back..describes hell so badly that for a moment I didn't want to belong to my religion. Its scary even if there's no proof of grantee of your ticket to hell.

And then there was this whole list of what happens if you commit a sin.What happens in hell that is.
I can't point out a lot from what I read - all I can say is it scared the hell out of me!

Strangely there's no major description as to what awaits you in heaven!

Back in Aug when I'd been to Mathura..we went to this temple where there were paintings all over the wall with one part talking about sins and the other its repercussions.
There was the usual..with what if you lie , what if you kill animals and eat ( two monsters roast you ; possibly just in the same way you had your barbecue )
The funny part is there was something about what happens if a wife mis-treats her husband! and of course what if the husband mistreats his wife. Equal rules.
Then quite surprisingly - there was one painting talking about infidelity. First time I've seen or read anything close to that in my religion!

Ok so the whole point I'm trying to make is - none of us are saints! We all have our share of minor sins and we all somewhere have also done something good to someone else. So where does that put us ? I mean..hypothetically if we were to be send to one of these , where would we go ? Stranding between hell & heaven , I guess ? I know nobody knows how much of this is applicable. I mean all these talks are obviously a result of hundreds of thousands of old stories. And then nobody comes back to confirm any of it either! But I feel such kind of stories were made & written so that people were afraid of committing 'sins'. Which nobody to this day is! If lying or eating non veg food is sin...then hell ought to be large enough ;)

I'm not 'superstitious' or supremely religious. This was something I had always been thinking of.
In my opinion , the concept of hell and heaven is just overrated.

Simple Facts :P

2010-12-10T19:25:00.000+05:30

<br><br>le

Surviving 'our' party!

2010-12-02T19:59:00.001+05:30

I'm back from a sexy party which was at my uncle's farmhouse.
Sexy as in not 'sexy'.
Sexy for the awesomeness and the fun :D
Ok you do get it..I just wanted to fit that word somewhere in my write up , lol

It was just a family affair . . . full of surprises and warm wishes.
So it was the 25th wedding anniversary of my maternal uncle and aunt. Their two sons and fastest friend took the initiative to make a video of about one hour ; recording clips from most of the family members and close friends without the couple ever getting any hint of it.
There was a chain of admiration , love , praises & a pinch of humor for the wonderful couple in that small film titled ' 1985 , A Love Story'
The video editing was fantastic!

And just like in movies..some of the rough unedited clips were rolled out during credits. :D It was hilarious!!
Worth mentioning - the first credit

Make up

By themselves

lol :D

I wonder when we would learn to click a lot of snaps! I'm usually the most devoted shutterbug :P
But nobody listens to me..and the clicking is delayed for no good , the end result being sulking over an almost empty folder.

That night we stayed awake till 6 in morning. Uptil 2.30 -3 - the elders were along with us too. Then they made a wise decision of moving out so we could have our hookah session :P

These mini slumber parties that we cousins have are funnier than barrels of monkeys.
Ocean of madness.Limitless insults.Filthiest jokes , lol and of course harmless ( so far ) Hangover.
I survived the last party :D That's how I'm now a member of this coveted club. *smugs*

Irksome

2010-11-26T19:05:00.001+05:30

=> Why do you give a rat ass about WHY 'someone' did or said something ? Someone whom you just know.Not even a friend! As long as it doesn't affect you directly or even indirectly ..why do you give a damn ?! Stop stupidifying others ( that's not even a word , I know ) .
Just because you tag somebody fool , it doesn't make you any bit smarter. You're smart because you're smart and not because someone else is a fool! There's a difference for crying out loud! :X

=> The only time I swear REAL BAD and am not at all shamed is when I drive.
The traffic is !@$%^&* and the commuters are !@#$%^&*
Together the traffic sense is horrific !@#$%^&*

=> I was such a cry baby earlier.I went over my diary entries written five years back and I have no idea what the F is all that about! :X Crap. Real crap.

=> I've been working out..not consistently but working out nevertheless! Doing yoga too. I would have felt a lil bad if I were to know that I haven't lost any weight. But the fact that I've put on despite all my efforts is driving me crazy! Nothing on earth can be more annoying!!

=> I don't find The Secret applicable to my life. Whatever I've tried attracting - I've only found results to be poles apart.
Ok. . . . the truth is - I have Zero patience.

# CALVIN

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

The female & male brain!

2010-11-19T19:09:00.000+05:30

My friend tagged me over the Indecision Nucleus ! :P

If you were to consider 'my' brain and not just the female brain in general..the indecision nucleus would hover over most parts of my brain!

Its not too surprising to see what dominates the male brain ;) lol and its quite funny :D

Tales to tell

2010-11-17T20:40:00.000+05:30

My friend's friend soberly claimed that he has eaten tortoise. Another one added that turtles are tasty.Then the tortoise eater argued that turtles are never eaten.Whatever ...why were they even discussing this ?! I was already disgusted.
Ok , I've heard all kinds of things being eaten..but tortoise ?? WTF!

And there's more. This tortoise eater guy had a friend from Nepal who used to eat dogs. The dog-eater guy told the tortoise eater about this when he was at the latter's home , playing with his pet dog :P lol

We rolled on floor laughing when we got to know that the tortoise eater's pet dog was bitten by another dog :D Hahaa! Lol..the guy sounds fun.I mean his stories does. I should talk to him more.As long as he avoids telling what all he has eaten :-|

If there's anything tortoise reminds me of ..its that when I was a kid - I used to say 'tor-to-toise' :D Funny memory.And now am so gonna hate the word tortoise even being mentioned because my brain will process pictures of it being served as meal :S WTF!

* more on brain. Next time.

Spend-o-holic

2010-11-12T21:12:00.001+05:30

Golmaal
Singh Is King
Welcome
All the Best

I haven't seen all that crap.
I would rather watch an old movie twice ( the one I like ) than spending over such bullshit. But then , I went to see Golmaal 3 ( and previously dabangg as well - for which I didn't pay :P so I don't count it )
The first half bored me. The second half made me laugh in instalments at the stupidity. No real humor! No wise cracks. Bekar! [ I was told the movie is awesome !! ]

The funny part about these movies isn't that they are ridiculous -- its that somebody on earth could even think of it!!

Note : You can still watch golmaal 3. I just can't take that kind of stuff. Maybe you won't find it bad.

--- I spent 600 bucks in two days on movie , popcorn , diet coke , subway sandwich , chilli paneer and fuel :P Its not a good thing!! What happened to being miser ?? :P
I'm running out of my saved money ( Saved is all that I was given for shopping - over few months! - or income earned from several wonderful Indian traditions :D ..all of that which I never spent )

I'm waiting for Due date & The Social Network to release.

How does festival and guilt taste ?

2010-11-07T19:35:00.000+05:30

I really loathe it when discussions at home within extended family turn to studies and careers.
I mean , of course that's bound to happen since the most talked about topics are - the stock market and other business related stuff - But I seriously dislike it.

Its like my guilt syrup.

I don't know what's happening.Where life is moving.What's going to happen. Of course nobody knows that...but the point is I'm tired of all my questions. Not a single one is being answered. Not a single road is unblocked. Not a single step has been made. Either I backtrack or I simply don't turn up. Either I'm a coward or I'm pushing away the opportunities ( that's a big word for whatever came knocking at my door )
~~Or I'm just a loser.~~

Whatever it is...all I know is 'waiting' for something good to happen won't happen at all , after- all.
Worse is I don't even have wild ideas. Crazy I mean.Something I'd just take up for a revolution and do it , come rain or shine.As for the routine non-crazy ideas ...I don't have enough conviction.

Basically I feel the part of my brain which is supposed to generate ideas is rusted.

What the hell! :O

-*-*-* Diwali *-*-*

Food food food! That's all I can say of this Diwali. Ate a lot!
Please note : all mouth watering dishes eaten at one meal never count. Its so unfair! You cannot decide which one you should invest more on :P

Diwali night was fun.Feeded my bro's mind [ 5.5 yrs old ] with all the pollution and 'you are destroying our planet' lecture. He wanted to give up firing crackers! He was so moved :P
" I won't fire crackers on Diwali "
Then whats the point if you plan to fire them later ? :S
" No on diwali..the entire world must be firing crackers nooo! So I won't add to the pollution. I'll fire crackers the next day. "
Very smart , lol :)
The tactic kinda worked though.He doesn't want to buy too many crackers next year :D

I'm not much into crackers myself. Not that I'm scared. I'm just not into it. And yeah the amount of pollution a handful of crackers can bring about - is definitely a turn off.
This year however a lot of crackers were burnt in my colony unlike last year.Made up for the 'festival' feel. Then lots of sweets!! And also lot of neighbours came down to wish unlike before.I didn't step into the house of single one though. There were too many things that kept me occupied. Plus , I don't even have to mention how much fun my cousins are to be with =)

Summing up : enjoyable! Time flied ~~~~~~ which it does , when you are having a good time!

I want to be deaf for a while.

2010-10-30T18:04:00.001+05:30

There are days like these when everything seems so screwed up from a distance and worse even after a closer look.

All this after yelling your lungs out trying to keep a class of 15 kids silent & make them listen to you!

Eating a hot cheese toast.
Soft drink.
Ride back home.
Cuppa tea.Not my cup of tea - I don't like ginger tea! :O

Then what all with the Diwali cleaning.Lot of noise. Lot of clutter.

Can't the world go silent for a while ?

I need a pause.

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee,
And I'll forgive Thy great big one on me.
~Robert Frost, "Cluster of Faith,"

Slap a twilight fan :D

2010-10-26T22:35:00.001+05:30

Facebook : Lots of folks are celebrating an event 'Slap a twilight fan day'
lol :D

Its quite interesting to note the number of twilight haters! In fact most of them are guys.

I finally finished reading the whole series with Breaking Dawn being the last part.
Its the longest novel I've read till date ( around 800 pages )
I'm not much of a fan and then I don't abhor it either. Reading the twilight series was fun and occasionally irksome too...which is why I never read the entire series in one go.I read the four parts over a span of an year :P

I love the writing style of the author. The flow is contagious.

And that's all for now... some book-bashing later.

Through Pictures :)

2010-10-21T19:20:00.001+05:30

I have been going through my pictures clicked in last 5 years. It embarrasses , makes me smile , laugh , upsets or just makes my day! Thanks to pictures..its easier to understand how much I have changed & improved. Although I look different in many of the pictures due to the angles at which they were taken - I'm happy to see my recent avatar :D I do not frown over my pictures as much as I used to.
I may not LIKE all of my pictures..some come out real weird..but it helps in detecting where I've gone wrong - what with my hairstyle or what I've worn!

Pictures provide a great platform to keep a check on hairstyles! And I've ~~styled~~ experimented with my hair differently in last 2-3 years. The fact is I started ironing my hair after I saw how a bad hairdo made me look entirely bad :|
Then I cut my hair short last year without knowing HOW short I had cut them! But even then my look was decent enough.It turned out to be a really good haircut.And just a couple of months back..I cut my hair even shorter!! which is one big mistake I have made. Because not just short..my hair was cut a little oddly ..making 'me' look entirely different when I keep them untied! Huh I miss my previous haircut.I wonder how I'd ever explain any hairdresser to cut it that way again.

As goes my dressing sense..definite improvement!! My Indian wear collection to date is by far the best I've had.[ with sundry compliments :D ] casual wear - needs to be shaken upside down.
I feel sick when I see my old snaps. Like how and why did I even wear THAT ? But then..I had nobody to sort that out for me. And even today..I do not have an expert help! So its through pics that I'm trying to decipher what really suits me. An outfit may be good individually but it may not necessarily look good on me.I've always worn loose comfortable clothes. I can still learn to wear stylish clothes without looking like a joker :P

Its easy to certify your look staring into the mirror , however , it may not just be the right thing.
So thank you camera! And thank you snaps! And the shutterbugs who clicked them!

Did I mention I'm not that obsessed with looks nowadays ?? I guess its partly because of the comparison I've been doing between my old & new clicks.

Two things I know for sure now -
I should get hair smoothening done! It'll save a lot of my time and energy :D
I must must must hit the gym again.

Snaps : Two of my favorites clicked 2 years back.

Lemme blurt out.Honest Honest.

2010-10-18T18:15:00.000+05:30

I lost my cell during navratri. Panic attacks for about half an hour & then some fellow who found it , returned it to me.It was almost 2 in the morning. 3 missed calls from mom. And my heart fluttered again :O I had to gear up for some major scoldings. Thankfully I didn't have to deal with it.

However , more than being thankful to that man who found my cell..I wanted to swear at him - for not responding to the calls I made. He picked up the phone some 10 times but never said a single word.That freaked me out real bad. I loose my mind when I panic. I just can't 'think'. I can't make a decision.My friend insisted me a couple of times to go to the stage & make an announcement but I wasn't willing to do that.
I was just waiting for my cell to walk back to me.

Dancing while carrying your cell/purse is no fun.Its been an unexciting raas garba this time.I'm just not hyper. Maybe too indifferent for anything.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For more than one reason..I feel like my life is a big joke played upon me.Or the way it has been crafted. All those great words of wisdom about not regretting things & letting them go do not really apply - in the long run.
I could trade all my gadgets ( my highest possession till date) for a chance to go 5 yrs back in my life & change the entire course of my life. Its never too late , I know. But 5 yrs is a big time & it will take a lot to compensate for the lost time.

There are several things scattered at the back of my mind.Its difficult to piece them together & make sense.Its easier not to ponder over such things. But until when ?? Time is flying & I haven't moved an inch.

I really hate it when someone starts preaching me. Thanks for all the concern but mind your own business! Advices given when never asked for are not required at all! Help all you want..just DON'T PREACH!

Umm I'm almost at the same stage I was in last year. Not much has changed. Only that..I'm not severely upset.But then I'm not euphoric either. Screw it. Who cares.

I like being indifferent.All this time I was trying not to be too emo.It never worked. And then I learned to be indifferent - and voila! It works :)